Why breastfeeding in public should NOT be allowed

 

Dear lady I just saw breastfeeding at a restaurant,

Really? Do you seriously have to pick the table right in front of me so I have to stare at you the whole time you do THAT? I mean yeah, I guess I could pick up and move to a different table, but F that, I was here first.

And now I have to sit here staring at you breastfeeding for God knows how long because you insist on doing it in public. And here’s why I think that is so wrong.

Because now I have to listen to that cute little baby suckle away at you like you’re the best thing on earth. Now I have to stare at those adorable little hands reaching out from under your Hooter Hider or Boobie Blanket or Coconut Concealer or whatever all the new moms are wearing these days. And now I have to watch you kiss those itty-bitty toes, and wahhh, I’ll never have toes like that again to kiss. You’re totally rubbing it in.

I mean these days if I try to kiss my kiddos’ toes I either get a giant whiff of nasty foot odor or they’re like WTF, Mom, and kick me in the face. And besides, have you seen my kids’ feet? Helllllooo toe cheese and sock lint and black dirt in every crevice. No, thank you.

I know you have no idea I’m even watching you because you’re lost in your own little world with your brand new perfect newborn, but quit being so selfish and think about other people for once. People like me who are positive we don’t want to have any more rugrats, until someone like you parks yourself and your porn star tatas right in front of us. I mean I know we’re supposed to avert our eyes, but it’s hard not to sneak a peek when your little love muffin keeps making all those adorable cooing noises.

To think there was a time in my life that I thought breastfeeding was a pain and wanted to be done with it. What was I thinking? Because you know what’s harder than breastfeeding? When your daughter doesn’t want to kiss you goodbye because her friends are watching. Or when your son won’t let you carry him anymore and insists on doing everything by himself. Or when both of your kids go to camp for the first time and suddenly you’re sitting there in the kitchen all alone and you’re like now what?

Anyways, how dare you breastfeed in front of me and rub it in my face and make me wish my kiddos were babies again and make my uterus do the come-on-let’s-have-another-baby-dance. Before you sat down I was 100% sure I was done. And now I’m only 99% sure. And I know that doesn’t seem like a big amount, but that 1% makes all the difference.

So yeah, I know there are all these crazy people out there who say breastfeeding in public should be outlawed because it’s ugly, but I think it should be outlawed because it’s beautiful.

Next time, please be a little more considerate and take your breastfeeding somewhere else.

Sincerely,

A mom who didn’t want more kids… until you sat down

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36 responses to “Why breastfeeding in public should NOT be allowed

  1. I so totally love you! I was just involved in a heated debate the other day over public breastfeeding. Now, I know I really shouldn’t have much, if any opinion on the subject, being a man and all, but it’s a subject I’m rather passionate about. I see nothing wrong with it in the slightest, and don’t understand why so many people get so upset over a mother feeding her child. I get the whole cover it up argument, but many children won’t nurse covered, and I think it’s completely and totally wrong and out of line to ask or even expect a woman to remove herself to a private location such as a restroom or breastfeeding lounge or whatever just to feed her child. It’s rare that I even see it anymore… too many uptight people make a stink about it, but when I do, I smile and in my head I’m applauding her for providing the very best in nutrition and nurturing for her child, and continue with whatever I was doing.

    • Applaud her out loud next time. She’ll definitely appreciate it. I had an elderly woman come up and pat me on the back with words of encouragement while I was feeding my 1st out at lunch. It makes me emotional now thinking of it. I was terrified to be nursing in public and it was awesome to just have someone mention what a great job I was doing.
      And thank you for being so supportive to nursing moms!

    • Tarquin Roberts

      You have a significantly important role in breastfeeding and women in general, as a man. A huge factor as to why breastfeeding is shunned is male influence spanning across decades. Women need you. Men need you. A man is infintely more influencial than you could possibly imagine. Please, never ever think for a second that your gender constricts your value or your input. Your voice is so, so needed. All of our voices are. And next tim you see a woman breastfeeding, discreetely tell her she is doing a great job. You have no idea how powerful those words are. Those words will impact her, her friends, her family amd her children. Your words.

    • So Jason despite the fact that you’re passionate about this subject, you believe that you really shouldn’t have any opinion on the subject because you’re a man. You should keep your mouth shut because you have a p***s instead of a v****a. Why is it totally out of line to even ask a woman to remove herself to a private location? Some people may be uncomfortable eating in a restaurant when across at the next table a woman pulls her b**b out. And if that’s how they feel about it they have as much right to express their feelings as the woman has to pull out her b**b does. And I’d argue that inside privately owned establishments like restaurants, that the owner should have the right to tell any woman to either cover her boobs up, go to a private area, or get the f**k off the property.

  2. Now everyone’s gonna want to have Jason Stimson’s babies.

  3. My kids are growing and one is married. I miss having little ones around and when I see babies I want more kids, but I am not going to hold that against a mom who is doing the best thing she can for her little one. I beat feed and if someone told me not to do that in front of her because I might want more kids…well that is my issue not hers. As mom’s we need to stick up for one another.

  4. Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one.

    You do know that breasts are FOR feeding, right? I can’t believe the negitivity toward public breast feeding, shut up already and learn some self disipline you big whiner.

  5. Love. I love how the trolls don’t see your sarcasm too. 🙂

  6. Breastfeeding is natural. God created us to nurture our babies. It is Beautiful Moments & our baby feed with ease. We would much prefer to see a mother feeding her child under its blanket any day or night of the year!!!!!!! Compared to adults sniffling, blowing their noseat the table, coughing, booger picking or any other adult bad habits that we all have been grossed out and scene over the years!!!!!!!!PLEASE let Mama’s & their Baby’s nurse everywhere and stop all the adult Bad Habits we all have witnessed……..Feeding your child by breastfeeding is Normal & Natural & much happier Baby & Mama

  7. Wow, people really don’t read before commenting do they? This is so obviously not a serious condemnation of breast feeding. She calls it beautiful right in the post.

    Seriously people. At least read what you’re going to b***h about.

  8. Omg…these comments are almost more entertaining than the post was!!

  9. Amazing post. My husband would agree. Every time I see fat baby toes my uterus begins to call to me for another child and my husband runs screaming!!!!! Also, these comments from people who either A.) Just read the title of the piece off of someone’s facebook feed B.) Can’t read / comprehend or C.) Are crazy …. are making my night!

  10. What a fabulous post! Breastfeeding is beautiful and watching it can definitely make you want more kids. Watching 3 year olds eat a restaurant, not so much.

  11. I only stopped breastfeeding a couple of months ago and I’m like this whenever I see anyone breastfeeding!

  12. RIGHT?! Every time I see a mom breastfeeding in public (including myself) it just makes me crave a milkshake. And I’m trying to lose a few pounds. GOD. People can be so selfish.

    http://cupofjackie.blogspot.com

  13. Oh, man. I knew from the title that it was going to be sarcastic and hilarious, as usual. I also thought: Trolls are going to read only the title, not understand it, and I’m going to need a bag of popcorn when I get to the comments.

    I have to admit that babies have the exact opposite effect on me. Breastfeeding was an exercise in abject misery for me, and I could have jumped for joy when my baby realized that milk also came in a traveler, and weaned herself super early. I never want to do that again. Ever. But I do think that the tenderness between a nursing mother and her child is something we could all stand to see a little more of.

  14. Seriously just made me cry. Thats exactly how i feel!!!!

  15. My reaction is different. . . no breastfeeding in public because it reminds me that I have more dead babies than living. My one living child is six. A recent second trimester loss will not allow us to have a little girl. Our oldest boy should be turning 9 in a few months. Throw in three first trimester losses. . . Breatfeeding is great, but personally cannot handle seeing most babies right now.

    • What you (and I) have been through is tragic, it’s worse than anyone can imagine who has not been through it. The pain of the mother whose child is no longer with her never ends. It gets less sharp and overwhelming as time passes, but she can never be the same.

      At the same time, the world goes on. We miss our babies, and it hurts to see what we miss. It brings back the thoughts of our own deepest aching loss. But deep down, would we wish these babies not to be part of society? These mothers are lucky, so very lucky. They don’t even know how lucky they are (except, of course, for the ones who DO know, we cannot tell which are which because we don’t wear our losses on our sleeve). They need support and love too.

      I wish you peace and comfort. I wish for you healing, not to forget because that is impossible, but to reach the stage of living through the death of a child where it does not define you. Where you can breathe in and out without the ache consuming your chest. It gets better. One day, you will be able to see babies without feeling like you need to run and hide, or cry. Until then please be gentle with yourself. It’s OK to not be OK.

      • gadubag@gmail.com

        Unfortunately I am going though this right now too. I have two boys and this was my girl. I have to be induced tonight to deliver her tomorrow. My boys were csections and this will b my first vaginal delivery… I had to wait in the waiting room today with all these other moms who who were pregnant and I was so jealous and angry. I tried hard not to be. I don’t want to begrudge them their beautiful babies but it is so hard. I kept asking myself why me. Ya no. I’m sorry other have gone thru wat I am going thru now. I wudnt wish it on my worst enemy. However. I may be super jealous Everytime I see a mom nursing in public but it is a beautiful thing. And I’m proud Iv had the chance to do it as well.

  16. LaChone Mendoza

    I have a friend with a 4 mo old & these are my sentiments exactly. I miss it so much…in a 1% kind of way….*big sigh

  17. I am totally for breastfeeding and I feed my baby till she was almost 4y old…. And again I believe breastfeeding is totally a personal affair and should be only the baby and mother and not the whole siciety affair. Well since it’s ok to feed our baby anywhere in public why can’t we start eating as grown up anywhere? Why we need to sit and eat in restaurants…… Why w need to have s*x in bed w can do it in public why not? People w must respect our baby first and then ourselves and give our babies the privacy they deserve with their moms when they breastfeed. And as a society w need to respect that privilege and not make it a public affair!

  18. I disagree big time.

  19. Shannon Elliott

    I disagree with all of this. If you don’t like when a mother is being caring and affectionate to her child by feeding them, you are one sick ticket. Would you rather see a mom caring for her child and feeding them or watch the child scream its bloody head off because it’s hungry and the mom ignores them? The mother isn’t selfish, you are.

  20. Excuse your entitlement. Not everyone needs this in their life.

  21. ROFL! Obviously, some readers of this column just did not get your point. Breastfeeding is beautiful, and if you find it offensive in a public place, e.g., a restaurant, just DON’T LOOK! I think a covering (blanket or some such thing) is a good idea to protect yourselves from the more salacious (s*x-obsessed) men and women within viewing distance, but go ahead and breastfeed wherever you are when that precious baby gets hungry. If I had been blessed with children (which I was not, due to serious illness), I would whip out a b**b whenever and wherever I wanted. So that is MY view on the subject. You are all entitled to your own opinion, but do not foist it upon the breastfeeding Mom who is nourishing and nuturing her child within your view…

  22. Omg. I just CRIED!!

    Bless your heart! This is perfect!

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