The day Zoey cut her own, agghhh I almost can’t type it, hair

Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath. It’ll grow back. Whatever it looks like, it’s okay. It’s just hair. Agghhhh, but that’s not how I feel. It’s not JUST hair!! Zoey has the most awesome hair. I mean I know I’m a smidge biased, but seriously, I would KILL for hair like hers.

It started out like any other morning. The hubby and I lay (lied???) in bed trying to fend off the kids who woke up too early like they always do.

ME: I’ll bet you guys aren’t big enough to go downstairs and make your own breakfast.

ZOEY: Yes, we are! Holden, let’s go!

HOLDEN: Come with us, Mommy.

ME: No, you guys do it like big kids.

HOLDEN: Noooooooo. I need you!!!!

ME: Come on, Holden, you’re a big boy.

HOLDEN: No, I’m a little boy!!

Seriously?? You bitch and moan whenever I call you little and NOW is the time you choose to embrace it??

ME: Why don’t you guys go play in Zoey’s room and we’ll get up soon?

And holy crap, it’s the miracle of all miracles because they actually listen to me and they go to Zoey’s room to play. And after about ten minutes of trying to fall back asleep which never really works, I finally get up to get ready when suddenly the door to our room slams open.

HOLDEN: Hi, Mom!

ME: Hi, Holden!

I check the wall to make sure the doorknob didn’t go through the wall. Phew, no hole. Seriously, sometimes I wonder whether our walls are made of metal.

HOLDEN: Zoey cut my hair!

And I flip the lights on and holy shit. She sure did.

IMG_0012

It’s bad. Not horrible, but definitely not good. Luckily his hair is short and it’ll grow back in about two weeks.

HOLDEN: And she cut hers too.

WHAT???!!! Nooooooooooo!!! OMG, now I’m scared. And fuming. I mean, WTF?!!! Why would she do this without asking?!! I always let her do what she wants when it comes to her hair. Like when she wanted a bob, I let her get one. See?

Bobbeforebobafter

And when she wanted pink hair in kindergarten, I was like the most awesome mom ever and let her get it dipped.

PinkHair

I even let her wear whatever outfits she wants, even though she looks like a crazy person and people judge me and think I’m insane for letting her walk out of the house like this.

ZoeyOutfit2CandyCaneOutiftCrazyOutdit3

So why is she rebelling when I’ll pretty much let her do whatever she wants within reason?!! If you want your hair cut, kid, just ask me and I will take you to a professional who can do a good job.

I had no idea how bad it would be. I walked down the hall, no wait, I stormed down the hall like a rhinoceros breathing fire and I burst into her room. And this is the first thing I saw.

IMG_0017

Holy crap, THAT is a lot of hair. And then I looked at her. Yup, she definitely cut her hair alright. Okay, try not to go apeshit on her. TRY.

ME: (paraphrased because I’m sure I went on wayyyyy longer than this and didn’t sound quite so put together) Zoey, I can’t believe you did this!! You know that’s not okay. And it’s especially not okay to cut Holden’s hair.

ZOEY: I’m sorry.

By now my hubby had joined us too.

HUBBY: But why did you do it, Zoey?

ZOEY: I want to look like a boy.

HUBBY: No, you don’t.

Oh shit, did my hubby just say that?! Noooooooo, honey. You can’t say that!! Because what if she really does want to look like a boy? Although I kind of doubt it because this is the same kid who wore a GIANT pink tutu to school the other day. But still. What if?!!

ME: Zoey, why do you want to look like a boy?

ZOEY: So they’ll like me.

And suddenly it all made sense. This is the year that the boys are starting to play separately from the girls. Not all the time. But a lot. Like last year soccer was coed but now the girls and boys are separate. And whenever I’m at the school playground, I notice the boys are playing gaga and ball and the girls are walking around in little packs talking about God knows what.

HUBBY: Zoey, boys aren’t going to like you more because of a haircut.

ZOEY: Okay.

ME: If they don’t want to play with you, that’s their problem, not yours. They’re the ones who are missing out. You just keep being awesome and if they want to play with you, great. Got it?

ZOEY: Got it.

I take a good look at her hair.

ME: Well, at least it doesn’t look terrible.

ZOEY: Really?

ME: It’s not too too bad.

IMG_0010

HUBBY: But you’re still going to be punished.

ME: Absolutely.

And then the hubby and I stepped out of the room to decide a punishment.

HUBBY: Should we take away TV?

ME: And punish us too? Hells no. What about her Zippy Sack?

HUBBY: Yup.

And if you don’t know what that is, it’s the unicorn blanket thingie on her bed.

ZippySack

She just got it a few weeks ago and she LOVVVVVVVES it.

ME AND HUBBY: We’re taking away your Zippy Sack.

ZOEY: For a night?

ME AND HUBBY: For a week.

ZOEY: Noooooooo!!! I’m going to beg for it every day until you give it back.

ME: Every day you beg for it is an extra day you don’t get it.

ZOEY: Fiiiiine.

And the next part nearly killed me to say but I reached deep inside myself for strength and I said it.

ME: Zoey?

ZOEY: Yeah?

ME: In a week when your punishment is over if you still want your hair cut short, we can go get it cut.

Even though it will KILLLLLL me and your father and I’m praying you forget allllll about this in a week.

ZOEY: Okay.

And then I added this (because I’m wicked smaaaaht).

ME: Or if you want to grow it and donate it, that’s cool too.

ZOEY: Whatta you mean?

ME: If you grow your hair reallllllly long, then you can cut it and give it to another person who doesn’t have hair.

ZOEY: (with tons of passion) I want to do that.

ME: Okay.

ZOEY: Mom, can I do that?

ME: Maybe.

ZOEY: Pleeease.

ME: We’ll see.

And we really will see. Because with this kid, or really any kid, who the hell knows what’ll happen next week.

(and then later that night at dinner)

HUBBY: Who wants to go next? Zoey? What’re your highs and lows today?

ZOEY: My low was when I lost my Zippy Sack. And my high was when Mommy told me my new haircut looks good.

When did I say that?!!! But fine, whatever. I smiled and nodded and then I left the table to go hide every pair of scissors in the house.

BadHaircut

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There are 46 comments for this article
    • Katrina Irwin Pacific at 10:13 am

      I just want to second this. Locks of Love does not really help kids. There are better organizations out there. And some of those organizations will also take treated hair too (since she did get her hair dipped I’m not sure if that part has been cut yet).

    • Monica at 10:48 am

      Definitely research the differt options to donate. Their are several better ones. If there are any local organization for cancer support ask them. I donated mine to “Pink Hearts”, a local group in Mississippi who gives bras and prosthetics free if charge here.

    • Kelley at 9:55 pm

      Wigs for kids is a great organization that uses what they get.

      Sweet girl looks so sad in that picture. Well done though on the way you handled it.

  1. Donna at 10:09 am

    Donate to wigs for kids they actually give the wigs to children instead of charging them. Locks of love has been in trouble recently for missing money.

  2. Diane W. at 10:09 am

    I love how you handled this…but please, if she chooses to donate her hair in the future, choose Wigs for Kids or Pantene’s Beautiful Lengths. Research Locks of Love and the others before choosing.

  3. Crystal Sanderson at 10:12 am

    I love that you are thinking of donating her hair, but please don’t use Locks of Love. They don’t use most of the hair that comes to them, and when they do make wigs they charge a ton for them. Plus, kids only get wigs through them if they have something that causes their hair to never grow back. So kids with cancer aren’t offered wigs through them hardly ever. Look up Wigs for Kids. They are AMAZING!!!! 🙂

  4. Crystal at 10:13 am

    If it makes you feel better my daughter (9yrs) has done (ok…does) that all the time. Poof bangs gone, poof middle of the head, poof back of the head, and finally smack dab in the middle of the front of her head. Do they grow out of it? If they do I’m still waiting, so far 6months and nothing yet….Damm I said it, she’ll probably do it again now. I know that doesn’t help but hey, your not alone.

  5. Angela at 10:22 am

    My almost 2-year-old daughter stole her older sister’s scissors and hid them under her pillow. When I put her in bed for a nap she waited until I left the room and then proceeded to cut her hair. She then hid most of the cut hair under her pillow and went to sleep. When I went in to wake her up by rubbing her head and face big clumps of hair started coming off into my hands. I irrationally started screaming because I assumed she must have some sort of awful terminal illness that causes you to lose your hair while you sleep which then caused her to scream and cry! Once she fully woke up she showed me the scissors and other clumps of hair under her pillow and I put two and two together. She rocked a comb over for many months!

  6. Amber at 10:23 am

    I most definitely agree with all of the above! We made the mistake of sending our first hair donations to Locks of Love because of their name popularity. Then we researched and found way better organizations! Wigs For Kids and Children With Hair Loss have been our donation choices. And Pantene is a good organization also!

  7. Melissa at 10:24 am

    Love the highs and lows at the dinner table! We do best part of the day, but need to try the highs and lows. I am sure the 16 yo and 14 yo teens will give us lots of eye rolls 🙂

  8. Jen at 10:30 am

    My daughter was 7… she has gorgeous LONG red curly hair (just like Disney Princess Merida- seriously she is told that all the time…. She decided a tag in her shirt was “itchy” so she HAD to cut it out… and forever reason she had to use my sewing scissors- very very sharp…. So imagine, as she goes up and over her head with the scissors open, down to the tag… ALL of that hair was gone… I cried. Yep, literally cried…. It took 2 years to grow it out… now she laughs about it, she’s almost 11- Me, I’m still not at the laughable stage! I feel your pain!!!!

  9. Kristine @ MumRevised at 10:32 am

    You are such a nice Mom. Thankfully I haven’t encountered this except with my dad. That’s right. My dad cut his own hair and instead of cutting underneath the ponytail (yes, ponytail) he cut above it so that he had an upside down U on the back of his head. My brother held him down while I tried to fix it. No wigs were made out of the ponytail. My daughter donated though.

  10. Kat Smith at 10:39 am

    I LOVE her new do!! I thankfully with 4 kiddos never had to deal with this UT you both handled it was grace and patience, kudos to you both! I think Pantene does a hair donation as I have heard that Locks isn’t the best place to donate for reasons stated in other post.

  11. Michelle gable at 10:46 am

    My son cut his sisters hair because she said she wanted to look like a boy. She has two big brothers. She was 3 and finally had hair that was starting to grow long. Now she has a styled short do. But did it stop there. No. They cut it again. I hid all scissors for months. They are just now getting them back, mostly cause the 8 year old moaned about not being able to do homework.

  12. Kat Smith at 10:47 am

    Oh the eyebrows one reminds me of a story, when I was a wee one I think around 5, I fell asleep with gum in my mouth. When I woke next day the gum was all stuck in my eyebrow. So what does my mum do (keep in mind this was over 30 yes ago and I get helpful hints wasn’t a this the) yep shaved my eyebrow, now notice I said eyebrow not brows, to which I think would have eliminated the stares I got because I only have one eyebrow, yes mother that wasn’t noticeable. I still am a tad scared form the whole ordeal but I guess the thought never entered her mind to shave both and pencil on two more!!!

  13. Erin at 10:49 am

    I have a whole house full of hair cutters!!!!! 10 y o cut hers down to the scalp when she was about 4 with safety scissors SAFETY SCISSORS!!!!! Then she cut her hair again when she was around 8 and cut her 6 y o sisters hair the 6 y o then went to school and cut her own hair more during nap time at school with 3 teachers present??!!!!! And finally the 10 y o decided about 2 months ago she wanted long bangs so whack there she went again and set the scissors down which her 3 y o brother promptly picked up and gave himself a trim 😩😩😩😵😵

  14. Sarah at 11:08 am

    If she wants to donate, use Pantene’s Beautiful Lengths. They don’t charge people to get wigs from them and they use as much hair as possible.

  15. cynthia at 11:21 am

    Moms, please don’t teach your daughters (and sons) that appearance is important enough to be punished for. Be grateful they only cut hair and not themselves. Who know how many hairstyles they will have in their young lives. Safety is what should have been considered first.

    • Becky at 12:41 pm

      I don’t think she was punished based on appearance, but because she did something knowing she wasn’t allowed to. Also, telling Zoey that she should talk to Mom or Dad, emphasizing that she has to ask about getting a haircut and that she’s not allowed to do it herself (and punishing her if she doesn’t follow this rule) is a realistic way to let Zoey make decisions about her appearance while keeping her safe from hurting herself.

      I also think it was so great that you let her dip her hair! That’s not something all parents would do.
      I love her new haircut also. Hopefully it’s less work for you since it’s shorter!

  16. Sherry Lawrence at 11:39 am

    I LOVE reading your blog. I am a 71 yr old grandma & your kids are adorable. These are the best years of your lives. Enjoy every second because before you know it they are grown up.
    Sherry Lawrence

  17. Shauna at 12:05 pm

    At least it wasn’t her best friend’s waist-long sheared to the scalp right on the top of her head below the ponytail holder. Thank God they were at the friends house when this happened.

  18. jpfrederick1898 at 1:07 pm

    The pic of Zoey with right after had me in tears. What a sweet reason (although I would have also been freaking out) to want to cut her hair. She still looks adorable, tell her to rock those new bangs!

  19. Sylvain at 2:07 pm

    So my son who’d just started Grade 7 came home without eyebrows!!!! He’d been dared to do it by some boys he was so keen to befriend. Of course, they did not befriend him, mocked him and he felt like a fool for the whole term…. Grade 7 was a looooong and ugly year. The eyebrows grew back but the psyche didn’t recover until well into Grade 8. Oye.

  20. lauraleeproudfoot at 2:07 pm

    my little darling cut hers the day before she was going to be a ring bearer in my sister’s wedding. RIGHT to the scalp. RIGHT in the front.

  21. Jennifer Emerson at 3:13 pm

    You have totally got to start reading her Junie B Jones ! She’s just like Junie B ! There’s even one called Junie B. Jones is a barber shop guy !

  22. Melissa at 3:49 pm

    My middle daughter cut her little sister’s hair so short that we did have to give her a boy cut. Basically sheared one whole side off. And of course it was on my birthday no less. Happy Birthday mom! I don’t have any pictures – I was too traumatized.

  23. Lisa Tite at 4:10 pm

    OK so sitting here bawling. And my four kids are 27-19. The pictures! I think your fam is awesome and your Zoey is a rock star. Bring on the grandkids!! (ok, ok, ME, not you) <3

  24. Jordan Perez at 4:49 pm

    That was a great way to handle the situation, but please please don’t donate to locks of love. Look into Wigs for kids or another one. Locks of love charges cancer patients for their wigs

  25. Andrea Ingvalson at 4:57 pm

    She is adorable no matter what. I just blew my stack because my two year old destroyed a water wow pen a couple hours after I bought it. He has yet to find scissors.

  26. Robin Stump at 5:09 pm

    well my daughter cut her friends hair then her friend cut my daughters hair right in the front almost bald! that was just the beginning of getting her hair fixed because she cut it herself many more times!

  27. Alicia at 8:33 pm

    Tell her to get in there and play gaga ball with those boys! The kids love it at our school! The teens only get it on special occasions! And I have to say that her face was so cute when she was looking all sad!!!

  28. Shay at 7:37 am

    The story of the two year old cutting her hair during nap time had me laugh/crying! I would have done the exact same thing. I can only imagine how horrifying that would be to find, but an amazing story to tell years down the road!

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