Once Upon a Time my Friend’s Coochie Coo Smelled like a Filet O’Fish

Okay, who’s ready for a HIGH-larious story? A little gross but F’ing hilarious. Before I tell you, I want to loudly announce that this is NOT about me. Like this is NOT one of those stories you tell about yourself and then pretend it’s about a friend to protect yourself. Okay, so here we go.

Last night I went out with my friend for dinner and when the waiter came over to order our drinks, I ordered a wine and she said can I have a club soda?

ME: Club soda?

HER: I can’t drink. I’m on antibiotics. And the doctor was very clear with me that if I drink on them I’m going to get really sick.

ME: Got it.

HER: Wanna know why I’m on antibiotics?

ME: Uhh, I don’t know. Do I?

HER: You do.

And then she told me a story. So a few weeks ago she started to notice she was smelling a little funky. Kind of all over but especially down there. And then the smell got worse. And worse. So bad that one day…

HER DAUGHTER: Ewwww, Mommmm, you smell like fish.

And well, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She headed to the doctor’s office.

DOCTOR: Let’s just take a little peek. Yup, look what we have here.

I’m sitting there listening to her tell this story and I’m dyyyying to know what it was.

ME: Sooo, what was it?

HER: Don’t judge me.

ME: I swear I won’t. Tell me!!

HER: She pulled out, wait for ittttt…

ME: OMG, WHAT WAS IT?!!

HER: An old tampon.

ME: Noooooooooooooooooooo.

HER: Oh yes. That I forgot to take out.

ME: Did you have your period?

HER: Nope. I have no idea how long it was in there.

ME: Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!! Were you dyyyying?

HER: I WAS MORTIFIED.

And then she explained what it looked (and smelled) like in way too much detail until I told her to stop and we laughed so hard tears were literally streaming down our cheeks and legs.

The moral of this story: Don’t forget to take tampons out of your coochie coo or you’ll smell like a Filet O’Fish and have to change doctors because you’ll be too mortified to ever go back to yours again. Double check your hoohas, ladies.

The End.

If you liked this, please don’t forget to like and share it!! And if you hated it and it made you throw up, send me your dry cleaning bill. Thank you!!!!!



Subscribe to Baby Sideburns and laugh your ass off. Enter your email address and I promise to only send you funny stuff once in a while and nothing spammy.



8 responses to “Once Upon a Time my Friend’s Coochie Coo Smelled like a Filet O’Fish

  1. But there is a string…

  2. Speaking from medical experience, this happens more than you might think. It also can be DEADLY serious, Toxic Shock Syndrome isn’t the only serious condition that can be caused and often women will ignore symptoms such as smell and/or discharge. In response to the “there’s a string”; often the string will get pushed inside. Plus s*x can push everything too deep to be able to remove it yourself. It is VERY important for women to be sure that they are removed. If you have a foul odor or unusual discharge seek medical treatment; it could save your life!

    • Too Embarrassed to Put My Name

      I’ve totally been there, and kept thinking the smell and minor discharge would go away. Then I developed lower back pain that got worse and worse until I needed help getting out of bed, at which time the pain got so intense that I passed out and scared my husband to death. Now, I’ve has three babies with no epidurals, so that should tell you how strong that pain was. When they removed that tampon in the ER I was so embarrassed but very thankful it didn’t leave lasting damage!

  3. I dont get it. How do you FORGET there is something shoved in your lady space?

    • You have four kids, a bunch of animals, a whole list of “things that must be done”, and it’s the end of your period so there’s no urgency to change a tampon before it is too full!

      Been there, done that; didn’t want the t-shirt!

  4. Oh, I have been there! First time I went to the doctor and he said he’s seen as many as 4 up there! Second time I didn’t realize until I was in Bar Class and started to smell that awful smell. I’m glad it’s not just me!!!! Thanks for sharing!

  5. I knew there was a reason I never switched from pads to tampons! I always felt lazy for never trying tampons after I’d given birth and would certainly not have an issue with something that small after TWIN HUMANS had come out successfully, but with one thing and another, I just never did. Now I feel vindicated—you’re never gonna forget a pad in your underwear! It’s staring you right in the face every time you pee! (And you’re welcome for that image.)

  6. SAme thing happened to me! Pee YOU!!

Leave a Reply