Okay, who’s ready for a HIGH-larious story? A little gross but F’ing hilarious. Before I tell you, I want to loudly announce that this is NOT about me. Like this is NOT one of those stories you tell about yourself and then pretend it’s about a friend to protect yourself. Okay, so here we go.
Last night I went out with my friend for dinner and when the waiter came over to order our drinks, I ordered a wine and she said can I have a club soda?
ME: Club soda?
HER: I can’t drink. I’m on antibiotics. And the doctor was very clear with me that if I drink on them I’m going to get really sick.
ME: Got it.
HER: Wanna know why I’m on antibiotics?
ME: Uhh, I don’t know. Do I?
HER: You do.
And then she told me a story. So a few weeks ago she started to notice she was smelling a little funky. Kind of all over but especially down there. And then the smell got worse. And worse. So bad that one day…
HER DAUGHTER: Ewwww, Mommmm, you smell like fish.
And well, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She headed to the doctor’s office.
DOCTOR: Let’s just take a little peek. Yup, look what we have here.
I’m sitting there listening to her tell this story and I’m dyyyying to know what it was.
ME: Sooo, what was it?
HER: Don’t judge me.
ME: I swear I won’t. Tell me!!
HER: She pulled out, wait for ittttt…
ME: OMG, WHAT WAS IT?!!
HER: An old tampon.
HER: Oh yes. That I forgot to take out.
ME: Did you have your period?
HER: Nope. I have no idea how long it was in there.
ME: Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!! Were you dyyyying?
HER: I WAS MORTIFIED.
And then she explained what it looked (and smelled) like in way too much detail until I told her to stop and we laughed so hard tears were literally streaming down our cheeks and legs.
The moral of this story: Don’t forget to take tampons out of your coochie coo or you’ll smell like a Filet O’Fish and have to change doctors because you’ll be too mortified to ever go back to yours again. Double check your hoohas, ladies.
If you liked this, please don’t forget to like and share it!! And if you hated it and it made you throw up, send me your dry cleaning bill. Thank you!!!!!