I love you, honey, but we’re not doing THAT again this year (you can win a $200 shopping spree in this post!!)


Dear Hubby,

So last year we had a conversation about holiday gifts, and I see where you’re coming from. I understand that you REALLY want to pick out your own present and surprise me. And while I love the spirit of that, we’ve tried it your way for the past decade, and welllll, we’re gonna do it a little different this year.

Because let’s reflect for a moment.

Three years ago you got me a slanket. Yup, a blanket with armholes and leg holes. And the year after that you got me an electric blanket. Because you know, buying weird kinds of blankets for your wife two years in a row isn’t odd at all. I know I always complain that it’s freezing in the house, but that just means turn up the thermostat. That doesn’t mean sprint to the drugstore the night before Christmas and find some “As seen on TV” scratchy blanket with limb holes in the clearance section. I’m sure you were like, “Score, it’s on clearance!!” Just a little FYI, the clearance section is usually there because people didn’t buy that crap in the first place.

Don’t get me wrong, honey, I’m not implying that all of your gifts are crappy. Like that lapdesk you got me last year… sexyyy. All my friends are getting things like earrings and pajamas and picture frames and things they already use every day. But lucky me, I got something I’ve haven’t owned since the 80’s. Wanna know why? Because I don’t need a stupid desk with a pillow attached to it. It’s like you thought to yourself, heyyyyy, she doesn’t have one of these so I’ll get it for her! Newsflash, there are lots of things I don’t have that I don’t want. Nose hair trimmers, a shirt with a pilgrim collar, socks with toes, a thong bathing suit. You see, I’ve gotten to a point in my life where if I need something, I’ve probably gotten it already.

I’m sure you just read that and thought, “Oh crap, what do you buy someone who just said she has everything she needs?” Ummm, hmmmm, I don’t know, maybe something she WANTS!!!!

So I’ve made it easy for you this year. You’re not going to like this, but we work hard for our money and I kinda sorta don’t want you to waste it on a stupid lapdesk, or a slanket, or an asparagus cooker, or a weird DIY massage thingie.

So here’s what you’re going to give me.

Yup, my ThredUP order arrived last week and if you give me what’s inside, I promise I will act surprised and excited and grateful. Like for real. Not like when you gave me the asparagus pot and I basically earned an Oscar for this performance.

But not this year. Nope, I’m not gonna fake it this year. Because THIS is how I’m gonna look in all of my new adorable ThredUP clothing that I, uhhh I mean YOU got me this holiday.

See? Genuine happiness!! And yes, I opened the box and tried it all on, but just because I was so excited and couldn’t help it. It’s all packaged up again (which was super hard to do because I am dyyyying to wear that cute peach top to our Moms Night Out tomorrow and that gray one on the mannequin is soooo soft and cozy and the purple Marc Jacobs top would look amazing for a holiday party I have next week). But no, no, no, I’m not going to wear them until you surprise me with them in the cute polka dot box.

Or if you REALLY want to surprise me, wrap it in actual real live wrapping paper. Not like how you usually wrap my presents in a cardboard box sealed with duct tape. You could even pop a bow on top. Just make sure I’m sitting down before you give it to me so I don’t die from shock.


Your wife who just turned up the thermostat

I’m sure you know by now that this was sponsored by my amazing friends at thredUP, who are giving away a $200 shopping spree to one of you (woohoooooo!!!) so keep reading because I’m gonna tell you how to enter. In case you don’t know, ThredUP is my favorite online consignment store with lots of amazing brands for wayyy less than the original price. Look at some of my new cute stuff!! I saved over $800 on my order!!!!! Wait until my hubby hears how much he saved!

Plus, they tell you the condition of every item, so you know exactly what you’re getting, and a lot of the items are even brand new WITH tags!! I’m getting my sister a designer purse, my mom a nice sweater, and Zoey a bunch of cute animal print clothing. Shoot, I hope none of them are reading this.

Anyways, here’s how YOU could win the shopping spree. Leave me a comment here or on my Facebook page and share the url to one product you would love to get this holiday from thredUP. Oh, and the first hundred people to use the code SIDEBURNS40 at thredUP will get an extra 40% off their first order (new US customers only, redeemable online. Certain restrictions apply). Yayyy, more money off!!!

I’ll randomly pick a winner from the comments on November 17 at noon and I’ll respond to the winning comment. Eeeeks, I hope it’s you!!! Wouldn’t that be exciting?!! A $200 shopping spree just in time for the holidays (here are the official rules in case you feel like reading boring legal stuff)!!

Okay, off to tell my hubby something else he’s doing wrong.

If you liked this, please be sure to like and share it. Thank you!!

 #sponsored #ionlypromoteproductsireallylike #likethredUP



Subscribe to Baby Sideburns and laugh your ass off. Enter your email address and I promise to only send you funny stuff once in a while and nothing spammy.

87 responses to “I love you, honey, but we’re not doing THAT again this year (you can win a $200 shopping spree in this post!!)

  1. Oh wow I so relate to this I hate surprises

  2. Its so good to get a good laugh on mornings when your post is there 🙂

  3. I found an awesome red trench coat I’d love to have!

  4. https://www.thredup.com/product/women-bcbgeneration-casual-dress/31050330?sizing_id=795…..i know where I’m getting my new wardrobe after dropping 30 lbs!!!

  5. You genuinely make me laugh out loud and I am always on the lookout for your posts in my inbox. The item that I would love from ThredUp is: https://www.thredup.com/product/women-jessica-london-casual-pants/30720290?sizing_id=121%2C832. They look so comfy!

  6. Loved this post!!

  7. Love this site. Have sent back 4 bags so far. Great way to keep my closet and the kids closet cleaned out! Love these: https://www.thredup.com/product/women-shoes-wanted-ankle-boots/29095726?sizing_id=571%2C812%2C825%2C829%2C833%2C841%2C847

  8. I would love this https://www.thredup.com/product/x-michael-michael-kors-long-sleeve-top/31015923?sizing_id=554%2C790%2C795

    I have a feeling this is my new favorite place to shop online!

  9. I’m very excited at the prospect of winning a gift for the holidays courtesy of you and #thredUp! Thanks for great work and the fun holiday contest! XO Kari

  10. I have been wanting to try this for forever! Never have the extra(so is life). It would be so cool to win!
    Still rockin my sock off! 🙂


  11. Wahoo. Love it. Hilarious and true as s**t

  12. This is so great! Love it!

  13. I haven’t tried them yet but I’ve looked. Could be time to try it out!

  14. I’m a sucker for any and all sweaters and I’m sure Thredup has some awesome ones

  15. Great idea that you get to pick what you want!

  16. Awesome! I’m lucky that my hubby usually gets me something great as a gift, but clothes I like are so hard to find!

  17. PIck me! Pick Me PIck Me!!!! My commute along with my work day is over 12 1/2 hours long, and I just don’t get a chance to shop. This would be lovely to get my wardrobe reinvigorated!!!

  18. Ohhh that’s nice… I don’t remember the last time I bought clothes for myself

  19. It’s the best place! I love to clean out my closet and buy more things from ThredUP. Jeans, fun tips and workout gear are always what I’m looking for and they have a great selection and fantastic pricing!!

  20. That site sounds awessssome!!!! This blog also made me laugh my a*s off, I love reading your stuff it always makes my day

  21. I am glad that I am not the only one who make a Wish list for my husband so he has a general idea of what I might like for Christmas. I like this dress – https://www.thredup.com/product/x-vince-camuto-casual-dress/31100164

  22. Gifts for the wife. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

  23. Love your blog and would love to try this!

  24. Would be awesome to win!

  25. I’d love to upgrade my wardrobe after kids… Especially a little black dress is I get out 😊

  26. Laughing!!!! I get it!! My top personal past favorite presents are car floor mats (30th bday woohoo!!!!) “Don’t tickle driver” caution sign for the car window and a vacuum cleaner. #spoiledwife


  27. WISH they were in Canada. So amazing

  28. Candace Sullivan

    I cried laughing while reading, only cause I go through the same darn thing.

  29. You’re amazing!

  30. Your Amazing, your family is straight up Amazing… I love surprises also 😉. Happy Holidays

  31. LOVE thredup! found out about them through your blog. THIS is what I’ve been asking my hubby to get me FOR YEARSSSSSSSSSSSS. I could actually afford it through ThredUp!


    YAY! Much happy!

  32. I picked out something I would never in a hundred years buy! I just thought it was the cutest thing! https://www.thredup.com/product/x-giorgio-armani-cocktail-dress/29496417?shortcut=3577&sizing_id=765

  33. Julianne Gonzalez

    This skirt is too cute! I think I need it!

  34. I’ve sent in to ThreadUp but never purchased anything there. I’m excited to try it for myself!

  35. Looking for something different for a holiday party and this one caught my eye!! https://www.thredup.com/product/x-bcbgmaxazria-cocktail-dress/29771843?sizing_id=563%2C559

  36. Excellent idea!! Enjoy the new threads!

  37. Thanks for the chance! I love the GAP dress; item # 31130438

  38. Aw, the asparagus cooker isn’t so bad. We actually got one of those as a gift too, and we forgot about it (how could we?) and found it recently. It really does cook asparagus well! 🙂 I would like this: https://www.thredup.com/product/x-vince-camuto-pullover-sweater/31132857?sizing_id=579%2C829%2C926

  39. Love this! Almost like a virtual gift card at a consignment shop

  40. This coat 😍https://www.thredup.com/product/women-inc-international-concepts-coat/31152016?sizing_id=579%2C588%2C812%2C584%2C795

  41. I can REALLY use some new threds! If I win, I’ll be getting: https://www.thredup.com/product/plus-denim-and-co-jacket/30927916?sizing_id=858

  42. I would LOVE these. https://www.thredup.com/product/women-gap-dress-pants/31151090?sizing_id=795%2C798 I’m trying to add more professional pieces to my wardrobe, yet still keep my quiet style. I love the big bell bottoms!

  43. Absolutely agree. I know it’s not as “fun” for my husband to surprise me but it’s hard to hide my disappointment when I receive gifts I really don’t like/want. I’m dropping hints and emailing links to suggested items this year!

    As for ThredUp, I just sent in my first bag of items. Love the concept and as a soon-to-be mom of 2, I wouldn’t mind rocking these kicks with the usual black leggings and a sweatshirt while running errands in my minivan! https://www.thredup.com/product/women-shoes-maje-sneakers/30590751?sizing_id=563%2C568%2C571

  44. Would love to try ThredUp- if only because I’ve gotten to the point where I no longer allow for “surprises” with gifts. My husband gets a list to choose from, and is told I don’t expect the whole list, and I don’t expect anything that is not on the list. Works better this way. I may tell him to buy me this for Christmas!

  45. LOVE ThredUp! Have you tried one of their clean out bags yet? They actually give you quite a bit of money, from my experience! I’d love this cute little sun dress. If I got it I could pretend it’s not winter in Colorado. https://www.thredup.com/product/women-gap-casual-dress/29329010?sizing_id=778%2C774

  46. Can’t believe it’s that time of year AGAIN! Am I a total Scrooge if I admit I’m eagerly awaiting the arrival of the moment once all the torn up wrapping paper is thrown into that giant garbage bag on Christmas morning..? Maybe it’s just me, but this time of year feels sooo much more stressful with the thought of dropping all kinds of moolah on toys my kids will play with for 60 seconds before they lay forgotten strewn all throughout the house. And if that’s not enough, I get to entertain them for a week after that, while trying to cling to my sanity.Lol! I think with this, I’ll look fab while trying not to lose my s*&@ 😉 :


  47. I have never tried Thred Up but would LOVE to!!!!


  48. I’ve been meaning to try ThredUp for a while now!!!

  49. I give my husband a list of ideas and he still goes off the rails on his own. Maybe this year he’ll actually pay attention to what I want, like this cute wristlet:


  50. I should really look into this site. I keep hearing about it & meaning to.

  51. https://www.thredup.com/product/women-banana-republic-wool-coat/31233541?sizing_id=795%2C812%2C822 My three year old is lovingly massaging my head while I browse. He tells me my head is weird.

  52. I have been meaning to try thred up, now is a great time!!!

  53. Eeeekkk! How exciting! Just had our 3rd babe, and the thought of going out to buy clothes makes my brain hurt. This looks so much better!

  54. Your Awesome that’s all

Leave a Reply