Dear mom who wears pajama pants in public places

 

Dear mom who wears pajama pants in public places,

We need to talk. Helllllloooo, don’t you know that pajamas are for bedtime? NOT for out and about when you’re running errands. I mean yeah, I guess it’s okay to wear them to your mailbox (quickly so the neighbors don’t see you), but seriously? Shouldn’t you put some REAL pants on when you’re going to the grocery store?

But noooooo. You don’t want to wear REAL pants. You want to wear comfy pants. You want to sleep in an extra twenty seconds instead of taking all that time to put on real pants. You want to be able to eat a big lunch and have your waistband expand with your belly. You don’t really care if the snooty moms judge you in the carpool line. You have more important things to focus on.

Well forgive me for being totally blunt, but do you know what I think? I think that you have your priorities STRAIGHT. Yup, that’s right, I am 100% in support of you wearing pajama pants to the store. Or whatever the heck you want to wear. And I want you to know you’re not alone. I wear pajama pants to the grocery store too!! And a lot of things I shouldn’t wear. Yup, I commit fashion crimes ALL THE TIME. Wanna see?

I look like Punky Brewster sometimes

Oh hey, Karen, where are you headed, the lumberjack store? Actually no, I’m just hanging around the house so I threw on some comfy pants but I didn’t bother changing my shirt.

I dress like I live in Antarctica

See, hubby? I do too still wear sexy nightgowns to bed. Under layers and layers of sweats to keep me from freezing to death every night in our igloo. I’m basically a human onion and if you really want to peel off my layers to find the nighty under there, you can turn up the thermostat.

Keep reading to see more of my hilarious fashion faux pas after a quick break from today’s kickass sponsor thredUP!!!


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I’m sure you’re like wow, Baby Sideburns, I didn’t know you could clean up like that. Right??!! Anyways, keep reading because at the end of this blog post I’m gonna give you guys a special promo code so you can shop at thredUP and get even MORE money off!!!

Anyways, back to what I look like on normal days.


More fashion crimes!!

I wear my pants unbuttoned in public places

Could I button them? Sure. If I stopped eating all of my rugrats’ leftover sandwich crusts. Or I can just keep wearing them like this with a sweater over them so no one sees.

I only wear two bras

I mean technically I own 16 but there are only two that I ever wear– my regular one and my fancy one.

I wear a bun every day

Either a half-ass bun which is just a ponytail that I didn’t pull through, or a fancier bun that doesn’t need a single bobby pin because I haven’t showered in an unknown number of days and the grease just holds it up.

I think I’m invisible

Who says camouflage doesn’t go with camouflage? Duhhh, it’s camouflaged so no one can see me. Of course this doesn’t explain my crazy leprechaun pose. There’s no excuse for that.

I have four butt cheeks

Step right up, step right up and see a woman who has FOUR butt cheeks!! Yes, four-butt-cheek-syndrome is a terrible disease that affects women who have a big butt and small underwear so your panty line cuts your butt cheeks in half. Could I wear a thong instead? Sure, if I were in my twenties and felt like flossing my tushy. I don’t.

I look like I’m fully dressed

As long as I don’t take my coat off, no one knows I’m not wearing a bra. Don’t worry, I purposely bought a long coat so my droopy boobs don’t hang out the bottom.

So there you go, Pajama Pants Woman. I’m worse than you. And you wanna know something? We are both awesome. We’re comfortable with ourselves whether we’re dressed up and looking like totally hot MILFs, or whether we’re leaving the house in our pajama pants.

And if someone has a problem with the way we dress, that’s THEIR problem. Not ours.

Love,

A proud pajama pants wearing woman with a greasy bun, a tattered bra, four butt cheeks and a crapload of self-esteem

Don’t forget, whenever you want to look like a totally hot MILF, go take a peek at thredUP!! Their clothing is awesome AND they’re offering the first 100 Baby Sideburns readers an extra 30% of your first order!! Woohooooo!! Just click here and use the code SIDEBURNS30 at checkout (for new US customers only and only for items under $150).

If you liked this, please don’t forget to like and share it! And let me know in the comments here or on my Facebook page which of these fashion crimes you commit. Feel free to include pictures!! Thank you!!!!!

 




There are 15 comments for this article
  1. Ashlynnn at 10:26 am

    YESSSS! I look like a homeless person nearly everyday I drop my children off at school, because, if I’m just hanging around the house afterwards, who cares??? If I have to work that day, I usually try a little harder and the teachers at my son’s preschool probably don’t recognize me that day lol!

  2. Heather at 10:47 am

    I have my favorite bra and the bra I wear when my favorite bra is in the wash or lost because 2 year old is obsessed with bras. Lol

  3. JenBen at 11:14 am

    At the beginning of this post I was getting all indignant, and started mentally composing a fevered response, something along the lines of, “How nice for YOU that you’re not the single mother of four kids under 12, who works from home half-time and regards showers as a luxury, not a right…!!” Thankfully you straightened me out before my BP broke the sphygmomanometer. Amen to long, baggy shirts for concealing braless, gravity-compelled boobs, and while I don’t own any actual “pajama” pants, my sweatpants collection is the envy of many an indigent bridge-dweller. Blessed are the messed!

  4. Andrea at 11:19 am

    You had me worried there for a second…but I should have known better!
    They way I see it, as long as I am comfortable and don’t break any indecency laws I’m good to go!

  5. Meg at 11:58 am

    I wash my hair so infrequently that when I do, people flip out and are all, “Wow, you changed your hair!” “You got your hair done!” “Who did your hair?” etc, and I’m super embarrassed to say I only washed it (for a change)!

  6. Patti at 1:31 pm

    I am way less offended by those who wear pajama pants out and about than those who wear crazy patterned leggings out with out a shirt that covers their b**t. At least the pajama pants cover your b**t and v******y.

  7. Joanna Myers at 1:59 pm

    I’ve never posted before even though I read ALL of your posts, but I had to on this one. I’m a single mom to a just turned 3 year old and just yesterday I had to do the pajama walk of shame. It was one of those mornings that it took everything I had to get him dressed in such a way to make sure it looked like I take proper care of picking his outfits and getting him dressed (rather than throwing on whatever I can find that matches and throw on him within 5 minutes), put together a lunch that gives the impression that I pre-pack them the night before with all the proper nutritional guidelines in mind (rather than grabbing what I thought looked good enough in under 5 minutes) and get out the door on time. It wasn’t until I got to school that I realized that we were actually not on time but 20 minutes late so rather than them coming to the car to get him while I turn my body in such a way that they can’t tell what I’m wearing, I had to get out and walk him through the entire school wearing my pajamas, houseshoes, just rolled out of bed half falling out ponytail and, of course, no bra whatsoever! Through the whole school and all the way to his classroom door! I’ve gotten way past the point of caring about wearing pajama pants in public but that was a new low! Lol. Your post was right on point and made me laugh and helped me shrug it off. Because, even if I looked like a homeless person who doesn’t even know the word hygiene, my son was well dressed, clean, properly groomed and had a snack and lunch with him!! Total mom-win right?!?! Lol

    • BabySideburns at 3:31 pm

      hahahahaha, don’t worry Joanna!!! So many moms wear that “outfit” every day! I mean I wear it and my kids also look like a wreck half the time!

  8. Jennifer at 6:38 am

    One day when I picked up my daughter from school she asked why I was so fancy. I was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans with holes. I work from home, so I guess if it isn’t yoga pants it’s fancy.

  9. Brooke Policastro at 9:03 am

    As a stay at home mom of soon to be four kids my entire daily wardrobe consists of sweatpants I stole from my husband, stretchy pants, big ol Ts and sweatshirts, and comfy sleep nursing bras. I have a hand-me-down silk floral nightgown I very rarely wear, but when I do my daughters think its the most beautiful dress and tell me I look so very fancy. The 3 year old even covers her mouth in amazement.

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