Category Archives: Uncategorized

Dear Mark Zuckerberg

 

Dear Mark Zuckerberg,

I am a mom. I became a mom eight years ago, and it was the most exciting, confusing, amazing, terrifying, isolating, happy, exhausting time of my life. There were plenty of hours of the day that I was with my husband or friends, but there were also a crazy number of hours that I was alone. So alone.

When I first started breastfeeding, my daughter would crying loudly while I cried silently because I felt like a failure. And even once I got the hang of it, I would sit there nursing her in the middle of the night in a chair in the dark with no one to speak to. I felt so alone.

Continue reading

OMG, my dying hubby just said something and I’m STILL laughing (with a special offer from LOLA!!)

Ummmmmm. Can I show you what my bedroom looks like right now? Nope, not how messy it is. It’s actually not as messy as usual because a week ago I freaked out on my rugrats and made them both clean their rooms, and then I walked into my room and realized I was calling the kettle black big time.

This is my bedroom right now.

Continue reading

RetailMeNot Facebook Contest Official Rules

*”RetailMeNot” SWEEPSTAKES OFFICIAL RULES

*NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A PURCHASE OR PAYMENT OF ANY KIND WILL NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW

  1. ELIGIBILITY:The “RetailMeNot” Sweepstakes (“Sweepstakes”) is open only to legal residents of the fifty (50) United States and the District of Columbia (void in Puerto Rico, all U.S. territories and possessions) who are at least eighteen (18) years of age or older as of December 14, 2017 and have a valid email address. Employees of RetailMeNot (collectively, “Sponsor”) and Baby Sideburns LLC (“Host”) and their affiliates, sales representatives, licensees or agents (all of the foregoing, collectively, “Sweepstakes Entities”), and their immediate family members (spouse, parent, child, sibling and their respective spouses) and those living in the same household of each (whether legally related or not), are ineligible to enter or win the Sweepstakes. All applicable federal, state and local laws and regulations apply. Void where prohibited by law. Entry in the Sweepstakes constitutes your full and unconditional acceptance of these “Official Rules”.
  2. SWEEPSTAKES PERIOD:The Sweepstakes period begins at 12:01 a.m. Eastern Daylight Saving Time (EDT) on December 22, 2017 and ends at 11:59 p.m. EDT on December 22, 2017 (the “Sweepstakes Period”).
  3. SWEEPSTAKES ENTRY INSTRUCTIONS:To enter the Sweepstakes each entrant must:

Visit RetailMeNot online or on the app and submit one (1) comment describing your favorite RetailMeNot deal on the Facebook post on the Baby Sideburns Facebook page that is published on December 22, 2017. Baby Sideburns will reply to the winner in the comments section and winner should contact Baby Sideburns at babysideburns2@gmail.com to provide their email address and mailing address.

Continue reading

You’re not going to believe what Zoey wrote on her Santa list this year (you could win a $350 Visa gift card from RetailMeNot!!!)

Before you start reading, this post is sponsored by RetailMeNot and they are giving away a kickass prize, aka MONEYYYYYY. So keep reading.

So the other day I made the mistake of taking the kids shopping and it was a disassssster. I swear literally every item they saw in the store, they were like, “Mom, can I get this?” “Mom, I want this!” “Mom, this is what I want!!” “I want I want I want I want I want.” And by the time we were done shopping, I was beyond angry.

ME: Aggghhhhh, if you guys ask for ONE MORE THING, I’m going to lose it. You can either do chores to earn money and pay for it or you can put it on your holiday list.

Continue reading

RetailMeNot Sweepstakes Official Rules

*”RetailMeNot” SWEEPSTAKES OFFICIAL RULES

*NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A PURCHASE OR PAYMENT OF ANY KIND WILL NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW

  1. ELIGIBILITY:The “RetailMeNot” Sweepstakes (“Sweepstakes”) is open only to legal residents of the fifty (50) United States and the District of Columbia (void in Puerto Rico, all U.S. territories and possessions) who are at least eighteen (18) years of age or older as of December 14, 2017 and have a valid email address. Employees of RetailMeNot (collectively, “Sponsor”) and Baby Sideburns LLC (“Host”) and their affiliates, sales representatives, licensees or agents (all of the foregoing, collectively, “Sweepstakes Entities”), and their immediate family members (spouse, parent, child, sibling and their respective spouses) and those living in the same household of each (whether legally related or not), are ineligible to enter or win the Sweepstakes. All applicable federal, state and local laws and regulations apply. Void where prohibited by law. Entry in the Sweepstakes constitutes your full and unconditional acceptance of these “Official Rules”.
  2. SWEEPSTAKES PERIOD:The Sweepstakes period begins at 12:01 a.m. Eastern Daylight Saving Time (EDT) on December 14, 2017 and ends at 11:59 p.m. EDT on December 15, 2017 (the “Sweepstakes Period”).
  3. SWEEPSTAKES ENTRY INSTRUCTIONS:To enter the Sweepstakes each entrant must:

Visit RetailMeNot online or on the app and submit one (1) comment describing your favorite RetailMeNot deal on the Blog post on the Baby Sideburns website that is published on December 14, 2017 at www.babysideburns.com. Baby Sideburns will reply to the winner in the comments section and winner should contact Baby Sideburns at babysideburns2@gmail.com to provide their email address and mailing address.

Continue reading

What NOT to F’ing Give Your Wife this Holiday

 

Dear hubby,

Okay, so technically you’re not even thinking about my holiday gift for another two weeks when you suddenly jump up off the couch in the middle of a TV show and announce that you have an “emergency” bowling night at 9:30pm and race off to the drugstore to desperately search for something that doesn’t look like it came from the drugstore, but I want to give you a little advice this year. Here are some things NOT to get me this holiday:

1. Do not give me something to clean the house with, ie. a fancy mop or an expensive vacuum. If you do, I want to walk downstairs and find YOU using it. Without your shirt on. Every day.

Continue reading

The movie your kids NEED to see ASAP

I saw the preview months ago. And I immediately wanted to see this movie. And not just because Julia Roberts was in it. I mean I grew up on Pretty Woman and Steel Magnolias and Mystic Pizza, so when I saw her mesmerizing face in the preview, I was like yessssss. But then I saw a different face. A very different face. And I knew this movie was going to be special. So I impatiently waited MANY months for it to come out, and then it finally did.

ME: Zoey, we’re going to the movies today. You’re going to LOVE this movie.

Continue reading

A bunch of BADASS holiday gifts that people ACTUALLY want!!!

Ohhh yeahhhh, it’s that time of the year again. Time to start racking your brain to figure out WTF you can buy allllllll the people on you holiday list. Well, you’re welcome. Because I figured it all out for you. Wanna know why? Because I love you. Yup, I mustered up the last few brain cells I have and I came up with some totally kickass holiday gifts for your rugrats, hubbies, wives, grannies and grampies, etc etc etc. And alls you gotta do is click on the pics and it’ll take you straight to buy them. Let the shopping begin!!!



Continue reading

Once Upon a Time my Friend’s Coochie Coo Smelled like a Filet O’Fish

Okay, who’s ready for a HIGH-larious story? A little gross but F’ing hilarious. Before I tell you, I want to loudly announce that this is NOT about me. Like this is NOT one of those stories you tell about yourself and then pretend it’s about a friend to protect yourself. Okay, so here we go.

Last night I went out with my friend for dinner and when the waiter came over to order our drinks, I ordered a wine and she said can I have a club soda?

Continue reading

I love you, honey, but we’re not doing THAT again this year (you can win a $200 shopping spree in this post!!)

 

Dear Hubby,

So last year we had a conversation about holiday gifts, and I see where you’re coming from. I understand that you REALLY want to pick out your own present and surprise me. And while I love the spirit of that, we’ve tried it your way for the past decade, and welllll, we’re gonna do it a little different this year.

Because let’s reflect for a moment.

Continue reading