So last year we had a conversation about holiday gifts, and I see where you’re coming from. I understand that you REALLY want to pick out your own present and surprise me. And while I love the spirit of that, we’ve tried it your way for the past decade, and welllll, we’re gonna do it a little different this year.
Because let’s reflect for a moment.
ME: I am soooo NOT looking forward to packing the whole family for our vacation.
HUBBY: Want me to do it?
Grrrrrr. The only reason he offers to pack is to get brownie points because he knows there’s no way I would ever let him pack for us. Why? Because I prefer spending our vacation on the beach hanging out, and NOT in the nearest store buying allllllll the stuff he forgot to bring. Well, guess what? This time I’m calling his bluff.
Zoey is pissed. Pisssssssssed. I got to order a bunch of stuff from thredUP (the most badass online consignment store!) and I only bought stuff for myself and I didn’t get anything for her. How dare I think about myself for the first time in seven years!!
And now she is insisting that I share it all with her. “Uhhhhh, no, it won’t fit you.” But she’s claiming it doesn’t matter and that it’ll look great on her anyway. I’m like duhh, because everything looks great on a cute seven-year-old girl. Seriously, I can order her 9,000 pairs of jeans online and every single one of them will look good. Grrrr, it’s not fair.
ME: Zoey, get dressed.
ZOEY: I don’t know what to wear.
ME: You have a closet full of clothes. Just pick something.
(I come back two minutes later and she’s standing in the exact same spot.)
ME: Zoey, please get dressed. And don’t forget to put on new underwear. Continue reading