Do you know how F’ing HARD it is to pack my kids up for school?!!!

Here is a list of alllllll the shit I had to pack for the rugrats this morning:

Zoey’s backpack

Zoey’s lunch

Zoey’s snack

Zoey’s second snack

Zoey’s snow pants

Extra pair of shoes for her

Zoey’s mittens

Zoey’s hat

Zoey’s folder

Zoey’s reading bag

All the shit that goes in Zoey’s reading bag

Zoey’s water bottle

Holden’s backpack

Holden’s school picture order form

Holden’s folder even though he doesn’t really need a folder but he has a conniption if Zoey gets one and he doesn’t

Holden’s snow pants

Holden’s extra shoes

Holden’s hat

Holden’s mittens

Books to read to Holden in the car while we wait

This is ON TOP of getting them dressed. This is ON TOP of making them breakfast. This is ON TOP of getting them to put their shoes and coats on. This is ON TOP of getting myself dressed and fed and looking decent enough that people don’t see me and think I’m a scary monster zombie and scream and run away. This is ON TOP of doing it all alone because I was super duper nice this morning and let my hubby stay in bed since he has an itty bitty man cold that will probably keep him out of commission for the next week.

Anyways, my point is this. When Zoey comes home from school today and wants to tell me that I forgot her water bottle, she better not whine, “Mommm, you forgot my water bottle.” She better say something like “Mom, you’re so F’ing awesome because you remembered this and this and this and this and this but I was a teeny weeny bit thirsty because you forgot my water bottle but that’s really totally okay and understandable considering all the other stuff you remembered to pack for me because you’re the most kickass mom ever.”




There are 22 comments for this article
  1. Karli at 10:01 am

    If Zoey doesn’t say how awesome you are at least your adoring fans will! You freaking rock Momma! You are doing a fantastic job raising two little humans!

    • BabySideburns at 10:36 am

      I’m coming back and reading your comment later today Karli when she comes home and tells me I forgot her water bottle and I go ballistic on her. Thank you!!

    • BabySideburns at 10:37 am

      Believe me, I’ve thought about it, but have you seen my practically albino children?!! I’d have to slather them with a ton of sunscreen every morning.

  2. Sara at 11:14 am

    I get crabbed at by my 5 year old most weeks because I forget to pack her a “show-and-tell” thing. Seriously, I have to remember to pack stuff for 4 kids (including extra meds for my food allergic son). She can get over it now and then. lol

  3. pennapenguin at 11:47 am

    SAME HERE!!!! Abby’s folder, gym shoes, backpack, lunch, water bottle, boots, gloves, snow pants, coat, hat, mittens, scarf – 1st grade
    Reagan’s milk sippy, juice sippy, lunch, pull-ups, shoes, coat, hat, scarf, mittens, wooby
    My boot camp stuff (shoes, socks, sports bra, tights, shirt, heart rate monitor strap, heart rate monitor watch, head band, water bottle, towel)
    My purse, phone, protein bar, lunch, keys

    And I leave my house with ALL of this and the kids at 6am!!!!

  4. Katie at 12:03 pm

    Ha! I have a Zoe, too, in my clan of 3. Wish I could share a pic of how I use my tile floors to help us visualize what we are missing. Each kid has a row of tile and each column of tile has a purpose (hats, gloves, boots, lunchbox, backpack, etc.) Like a little grid of what needs to get packed. It is a lot, I so get it!!

  5. Ann Venables at 12:04 pm

    Thanking my lucky stars my kids are both in their 20’s and I don’t have to do that anymore. I remember the nightmare.

  6. Genevieve at 12:28 pm

    First of all, I thought it was just me. It’s a nightmare to pack every day. And Katie, your tile square solution is genius! I have to try that.

  7. Debra at 2:17 pm

    For Reals! Loooong story but our daughter and granddaughter have moved back in with us and now I am the built in babysitter/driver. Last night after work I run home, get granddaughter, take her to her class…only to realize they are closed for MLK, come back home, get her a snack, play her favorite game, watch her try and do a gazillion cartwheels…listen to her whine and cry because even though she has been doing them for months, all of a sudden she is afraid. I reassure her that she is the best cartwheel girl on the planet, give her some ice cream, and do a million things for her. Then she comes into the room with a chalkboard with some letters on it (she is in Kinder) and sticks it in my face with this somber face. I ask her what it says and she mumbles something. I try and read it and she says no, it say “I don’t want you to be my grandma anymore”. I, of course, said DONE! Now that I am not your grandma, I guess you better go get your mom out of the bed and ask her to get your dinner. Ooops, sorry, no I don’t have a dollar to give you tomorrow for ice cream at school. I can’t give children that are not mine money. Oh wow…and are all the other grandkids gonna be in luck next Christmas when I don’t have to buy anything for you for Christmas OR your birthday because I am not your grandma anymore. More money for gifts for them! Little S*#t

  8. Melissa at 3:26 pm

    I have twin 5 year old boys so luckily I have to pack the same stuff for both. But there are days that notes are forgotten or the snack bags/water bottles get switched. Boy, do I hear about it when they get home!!! I just tell them they’re lucky they even got a snack or lunch or anything that day! Too much stuff, not enough brain cells!!!

  9. enad at 4:38 pm

    last week i packed my son a bagel with butter and honey for lunch. when he got home (cue whiniest voice ever) “why did you pack me something i don’t like?!” all rightey, you little torturer who didn’t mind eating the same thing last week, why don’t you pack your own lunch? and while we’re at it, you can do the food shopping too. and then make dinner.

  10. megs at 7:26 pm

    I dread Mon – friday when I have to get all 3 ready for school ..however,my rule is they have to pack their bags the night before with books, show n tell etc.. so it’s less stressful. and I make lunches as im doing dinner so I don’t have to do it in the morning.

  11. Lacey at 9:46 pm

    The hardest part of the morning is the stuff you can’t do ahead of time. Today I made up a little ditty for what I mean when I say “Okay, its time to go.” Shoes, backpack, coat, car…. shoes, backpack, coat, car. My hope…. that playing and watching T.V. are eliminated from that last minute series of have to do-s.

  12. led at 1:54 pm

    I am beyond positive that she would indeed approach it in such a manner. Please be sure to record this monumental moment and post a video! 😀

  13. Crys at 11:39 pm

    Don’t feel bad, I have 3 but only the oldest goes to school. yesterday I couldn’t find her glasses (and unfortunately i was the last one w/ them) and I really can’t tell her to look for them because, well she can’t see. I felt horrible but sent her to school w/o them. Then of course, i find them as soon as i got home… GRRRRR!!!! so I had to get both the little ones back in their car seats (one is an infant) and haul them and the glasses back up to school. Luckily, she doesn’t ever take much to or from school, so i’m lucky in that department for now.

  14. Jenn at 10:56 am

    Don’t know how old your children are, but once they are in elementary school they need to start doing it themselves. Also try getting it organized the night before. I am a full time working mom of 3 and find if I do t at night everything is smooth in am.

  15. Saige at 2:20 pm

    Honey I did this every day, ALL BY MYSELF because I was a single mother of FOUR!!! I soooo get it, it’s a royal pain! But guess what? This will pass, it doesn’t last forever, I know it FEELS like it will last forever but it really doesn’t. Hang in there, you’re doing an awesome job!! Even if your kids don’t think so, or won’t recognize your efforts for another 18 years, you are doing a great job!!

  16. Amy at 6:47 pm

    Yeah, I don’t think it’s the gazillion things as much as the lack of appreciation. . .I buy my daughter (5years) a Happy meal and she gets all pissed off because she already has that toy, or because she is scared of Pete the Cat on the box. SMH McD’s was supposed to make my night EASIER! ugh! I am a teacher and I take a lot of things to school for myself and students, then have to lug all her crap and all the baby’s crap too! Diaper days are the WORST! Especially Mondays (sleep stuff for the week goes in to day care) and Friday pick ups (s**t comes home for washing). It never ends. Your words make it a little more bearable, keep writing! You do kick a*s! 😉

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