1. I want my hubby to do all the packing. And if he forgets some stuff, oh well. Guess I’m going on a big-ass shopping spree.
2. I want the airlines to bump us all up to first class. And by “us” I mean, all the moms on the flight.
3. I want our hotel room to have two beds. One for me and one for my hubby. Oh yeah, and a separate room for the kids.
4. I want our rooms stocked with free shit we actually need. F the shower gel and lotion. I want it to come with a free mini bar and a babysitter.
5. I want my kids to stop fighting over the stupid elevator buttons in the hotel. I’m sorry the random stranger who got on before us didn’t know it was your turn to push the inside button today.
6. I want my hubby to launch the kids like human cannonballs in the pool for the entire time it takes me to read a People magazine cover to cover. For once I’m gonna to feel like MY life is better than the people I’m reading about.
7. I want to be served a bottomless piña colada. By a topless cabana boy. And I want him to rub the sunscreen on my back… and keep doing it for the next six hours.
8. I don’t want people at the pool to think my belly is fat. I want them to think it’s awesome for carrying two babies.
9. I want to go somewhere in the time zone IFS. Its Five o’clock Somewhere.
And last but not least…
10. I don’t want to need a vacation AFTER our vacation.
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