OMG, I can’t believe I went out in public looking like this

It’s official. I’ve hit rock bottom. It all started about four weeks ago when my hubby and I were watching TV on the couch one night. I had my computer in my lap and I was shopping on the Internet.

HUBBY: What are you looking at?

ME: Nothing.

I tried to angle my screen away from him, but it was too late. BUSTED.

HUBBY: That is not nothing.

ME: Fine, you caught me.

HUBBY: Don’t you already have one of those? You want another one?

ME: I kind of want a fancier one.

HUBBY: (laughing) Fancier? There’s no such thing.

ME: I might get one in leather. They’re in style now! They call them belt bags.

HUBBY: I don’t care what they call it. It’s a FANNY pack. There is no way to make a fanny pack cool.

And deep down inside I knew he was right. I mean hellllooooo, it’s called a FANNY pack. It really can’t get any lamer than that. Plus, I already had one and I didn’t really need another.

ME: Fiiine.

And I closed my computer and stopped shopping. But then a few weeks later I was packing for our trip to Disney and I was like awwww screw it, I’m bringing it along just in case. I mean I wasn’t actually gonna wear it but I tossed it into our luggage. Just. In. Case.

And then the first morning of our trip we were getting ready to go to the theme park and I was stuffing all my crap into my pockets wondering where the heck I was gonna put my tampons and my sunglasses and my phone and my tissues because they didn’t all fit. Aggghhhh, it’s not fair, my hubby has cargo shorts with giant pockets and all I have are these itty-bitty pockets that can barely fit a breath mint. Screw this. So I reached into the luggage and I strapped on, drum roll please, badadadadadadada my FANNY PACK!!!!

My hubby took one look at me and was like…

HUBBY: Are you seriously going to wear that?

And I held my head high…

ME: YES I AM.

… but I wish I looked in the mirror before we left.

So we left our hotel room and we were walking around the theme park and I was LOVING my fanny pack and totally rubbing it in my hubby’s face.

ME: Uh-oh my nose is running. Good thing I have tissues in my FANNY PACK!!

HUBBY: (eye roll)

ME: Oh darn it, my sunglasses might fall off my head on this ride. Better put them in my FANNY PACK!!

HUBBY: (eye roll)

ME: Honey, if you’re worried about your phone getting wet, I have plenty of baggies.

HUBBY: Sure, I’ll take one.

ME: Great, let me get it out of my FANNY PACK!!

I had even brought along a little battery-powered fan with me and I was able to clip it to the zipper pull of my totally kickass amazing awesome fanny pack.

Anyways, I was walking around feeling hunky dory about my functional accessory, and I was so confident that at one point I said, “Honey, can you take a picture of me in my FANNY PACK?” He rolled his eyes but he took it anyway, and I looked at it. And that’s when it hit me. Oh. My. Gawwwd. Is THAT what I look like? That is not hilarious. That is horrendous.

 

I took one look at myself and I was mortified. MOR-TI-FIED. Holy crap, is that what I look like walking around with my fanny pack?!! In public?!!!

I was about to rip it off when I don’t know why, but something suddenly occurred to me. Wait a sec, I am a mom. I planned, arranged, shopped, made lists, packed, mapped out, organized and did everything for this trip. EVERYTHING. And if this stupid little ugly bag makes my impossible job a little easier, WTF do I care what I look like wearing it?

Screw it. I am wearing my fanny pack. And I don’t care how it makes me look. That’s right, people, I am a proud owner of a FANNY PACK!!!

Of course the second I got home and saw tons of pictures of me looking like this, I freaked out and immediately jumped on my computer to shop for some stylish stuff at thredUP, my favorite online consignment and thrift store!!! Yup, they are the kickass sponsor of this post, and the reason I was able to go from this…

To this…

 

Yes, that is the SAME person.

If you haven’t tried thredUP, you are missing out. They have all of your favorite brands for crazy low prices (up to 90% off the estimated retail price!!). Even their packaging is cute!!

I literally got twelve things for less than $200!!!! My favorite two shirts were less than $10 each!!

 

And are you ready for the best part?!!! thredUP is giving 25% off to the first 100 Baby Sideburns readers who place their first order! TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT!! Woohoooooo!!! Click here to start shopping and enter the code SIDEBURNS25 at checkout. (Applies to new US customers only, items priced under $150, excludes Goody Box orders).

Who knows, maybe they even have a stylish fanny pack that I can buy. So I can burn my old one.

If you liked this, please don’t forget to like and share it. Thank you!!

 




There are 27 comments for this article
  1. Marjie at 9:35 am

    I LOVE fanny packs, and they ARE back, and you should get another one, and you look HOT with yours on, and Julianne Hough wears one, and they are even cooler with a water bottle holder, and, so, that’s just that.

  2. Daffnie at 10:17 am

    you look so amazing with your fanny pack and the “after” pics! I wish I was the mom that looks so put together. I am actually in the process of planning and organizing our Disney trip for August with my 4 rugrats, 14, 12, 7 and 4 and am hoping to have a successful trip. I loved your giftcard idea for their souvenirs. Do you have any posts or other suggestions for traveling to Disney? My two oldest have been when they were 5 and 4 but the youngest two are first timers. Any additional tips would be a huge help!

      • Daffnie at 10:24 am

        Yass! I plan to conquer this Disney monster! Thank you….as I frantically search ThredUp for my own stylish pack to cover my fanny.

  3. loriflori at 10:25 am

    Personally, I LOVE fanny packs and think they are the best thing since sliced bread for travel. We just got back from a week in Punta Cana and I wished so bad I had brought my fanny pack! Much better than trying to keep track of what I could keep in m y scrawny pocket, shove into my bra, or have my husband hold for me in his huge cargo pants pockets. Never again, I’ll bring my fanny pack. Although I wouldn’t want on in leather, that would be too hot, heavy, and it couldn’t get wet. I like the lightweight nylon ones better. 🙂

  4. Kristina at 10:32 am

    We went to Disney a couple of years ago and we used a backpack. I am not a backpack wearer but it was amazing! Highly recommend!

  5. Krazikate at 10:34 am

    When the kids were younger we lived in Florida for several years. My Fanny Pak was my best friend. They now are making a comeback, albeit more stylish than the ones from the 90’s/early 200o’s.

  6. donna at 11:17 am

    have tried unsuccessfully to log in on your link….via facebook, amazon and my email….tried to reset my password to no avail….sorry

  7. Rita A Bowyer at 11:22 am

    I gave up my “cool-mom” card a looong time ago. I proudly wear my fanny pack anytime we are on a trip.
    On another note, why can’t they make awesome shorts/jeans for women with real pockets?!?

  8. Karen Kohl at 12:52 pm

    I just had this dilemma the other day- the small LeSport bags cut into my shoulder. Fanny packs are just practical! I thought yours looked good, stylishly on the side and jauntily tipped. At least you were one FL among strangers. I will likely be wearing one around town walking the dog where I might see people I know!

  9. Michelle at 1:36 pm

    I have a leather fanny pack (my dad from the 90’s called asking for it back) and I don’t care what anyone says…I love it and it’s so handy to be completely hands free and no straps across your shoulders etc. I think maybe you just need a sweet leather one to kind of dress it up you know 😉 haha

  10. Kimberly at 4:55 pm

    My hubby and I had this exact conversation the other week, except HE was the one wanting a fanny pack! I made him read this and he was cracking up!

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