What’s a girl to do when someone makes fun of her for what she wears


Dear Zoey,

So this morning was a little rough. I saw what happened. The way you purposely put your hair up in crazy pigtails and popped that unicorn headband on your head and headed off to school with energy and excitement and happy feelings.

And then I saw what happened once you got there. When you got to the blacktop and approached two of your good friends, I saw the way they rolled their eyes a little. I don’t think they said anything mean, but I could see the way they were keeping their distance and clearly judging you for what you were wearing.

And while they were rolling their eyes, you did something that I’ve been dreading for a while now. You casually took off the unicorn headband. It broke my heart. For two reasons. I hate to see them break your creative spirit, but even worse than that, it meant you noticed how they rolled their eyes at you.

I lingered there for a minute to say goodbye and to make sure you were okay, but then I saw what happened next. You turned to those girls and you said, “Have you guys seen Bella yet?” and you put that headband back on your head and walked off to find her.

Bravo, Zoey. Bravo. You did exactly the right thing.

You walked away from the girls who don’t accept you for who you are, and you went to find someone who does.

I hope you found Bella.

I hope Bella liked your unicorn headband.

And if she didn’t, I hope you found someone else who does. Or at least someone who just ignores the headband and sees the awesome girl who’s standing underneath it. That unicorn horn isn’t what makes you magic. You are.

Do I worry that one day you’re going to wear something unique to school and that you’re not going to find someone who embraces how special you are? Yes I do. It scares the crap out of me. But I’ll never tell you to take off the unicorn horn, or the head-to-toe superhero outfit, or the rainbow shawl, or the sock in your ponytail, or really pretty much anything you decide to wear. You keep wearing them until YOU decide you don’t want to wear them anymore. It’s up to you. Not your mom. Not society. And definitely not two girls who roll their eyes at you.


Your mom who gave you a little standing ovation this morning

If you liked this, please don’t forget to like and share it. Thank you!! And if your kiddo would love a fabulous unicorn headband like Zoey, just click here. There are soooooo many cute ones!! 

(FYI, I’m an Amazon Affiliate so when you click on my Amazon links, I could make a few bucks. Thank you!!)


There are 13 comments for this article
  1. Renata at 9:53 am

    Bravo! Great story, thank you for sharing. I’m still tearing up. I feel this so hard!
    I hope your little girl stays her unique self!!

  2. Cathie Clark at 10:11 am

    UGH — I fought with my kid about what she was going to wear for picture day. It was ugly. there was screaming (from her) … but it wasn’t that i wanted to pick out what she was going to wear.. it was becasue she picked out a blue dress with flowers… again. i lined up all her school pictures for the last 3 years (there are 6 since she gets them 2x a year… ) and there is this theme of dark blue with patterns… so I just WISHED she would pick out something different… but i recalled your zoey and saw the big picture… it doesn’t really matter what she wears in her school pictures…. i calmed her (and me and her dad) downtold her she could wear what she wants… not my best fight

  3. Genevieve at 10:21 am

    Good for Zoey! My daughter got a unicorn headband at a craft show and has been begging to wear it, but I’m making her wait til her birthday this weekend since its unicorn themed. After that, she can wear it all she wants.

  4. alessandra vaughn at 10:27 am

    Zoey looked great with the unicorn head band on. Kids at the elementary school my youngest use to go to ( my youngest is in middle school) never made fun of anyone who wore head bands like the unicorn one or others. Kids and teachers acted like it was normal to wear the head band. Heck I even made a cat ears head band and tails for my daughter to wear to school and i made some of her friends different head bands they could wear to school that was very different. The best part is no one made fun and everyone looked foward to seeing what my daughter and others would wear on there head. Please tell Zoey keep being herself and never change.

  5. carolineiniowa at 10:44 am

    I am dreading the day that my daughter gets made fun of for what she wears. I know it will happen eventually (because mean girls) but I hope she gets another year or two before it does. I hope that she gets another year or two to have enough self-confidence to do what Zoey did and keep that unicorn headband on her head. And holy crap, I hope I have another year or two to help her build that self-confidence!

  6. Dawn Deinema at 10:50 am

    This really hit home with me. On Monday my grandson wanted to wear his clip-on tie to school. So he got all dressed up and went off to school happy & confident. But by 1:30 I was called to come pick him up. He has some emotional disorders that are triggered easily. He was acting out and had broken his eyeglasses. His tie was all out of whack in his backpack and though his lenses are fine, his frames were mangled beyond repair. He wouldn’t tell anyone exactly what set him off just kept making excuses. It wasn’t until this morning when I figured out how to fix the tie that I had an epiphany. Turns out a boy in his class was teasing him about his tie and glasses during the morning. Then complained that Andy was distracting him from across the room by glaring at him. That is when Andy threw his glasses on the floor and when told to pick them up so they didn’t get stepped on, he got up and stomped on them. Thanks for what you do in sharing your experiences in child raising.

  7. leslie at 12:22 am

    My daughter is like this, too. The most random things make up her outfits, including her various headbands. A couple of weeks ago I was combing her cowlick crazy hair and asked if she wanted me to put in the leave-in conditioner that helps her hair stay down and out of her face. She kinda of turned her head a couple of times, payed with the biggest cowlick, and said in her grown-up 6 year old voice, “no. I think it looks so cool.” Two things rolled through me head: 1:Mom mom constantly complaining about my hair, and I didn’t really care, except that it made me really self-concious. And 2: that I was so d**n proud and I was not going to even bat an eye at that crazy remark! And who knows? Maybe cowlicks are coming back!

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