Last night I woke up at like 3 in the morning and I started stressing about everything. Things always seem worse in the middle of the night. My brain was rapid firing like a million anxieties. What am I going to pack in the kids’ lunches? Don’t forget to call the plumber tomorrow. I can’t forget to sign Zoey’s permission slip. Should I stop blogging and get a real career? What on earth am I going to do when the kids are older? But what career would I get? I wonder if Zoey’s jazz shoes still fit for her theater show.
Wait, what? Rewind. Baby Sideburns is quitting blogging?!!! Is this really happening?
Don’t get me wrong. Working in my pajamas, being my own boss, living by my own schedule, these are all awesome things. But my rugrats are not cute little rugrats anymore. They’re more like larger stinkier rodents these days. See?
I mean, how long can I keep putting it all out there? It’s not like I can just post cute little pictures of my kiddos anymore and say “look how cute they are!!” and get a thousand likes. And there are days I have nothing to say. Well, I have stuff to say, LOTS of stuff. But how can I? Zoey comes home from school and she tells me her secrets and there is no way I’m sharing them on my blog.
A. It’s not my place to.
And B. If I start revealing her secrets, she’s gonna stop telling me things.
I laid there in bed thinking. A lot.
And then this morning I woke up and desperately needed caffeine so I went to Starbucks and sat down and as I’m sitting there guzzling my coffee, a woman walks up to me.
WOMAN: Are you Baby Sideburns?
And I’m like yup, in the flesh (as in LOTS of flesh I didn’t used to have).
WOMAN: (paraphrased because I didn’t record her because that would be creepy) I’ve been reading your stuff for a long time and I just wanted to say thank you. You’ve made me feel less alone.
I didn’t see it coming and it totally caught me off guard and even made me tear up a little.
I could barely choke out the words “thank you.”
Back when I started this stuff, I used to wake up in the middle of the night (all the time because I was breastfeeding) and I would put up posts at 1am, 2am, 3am, all throughout the night and lots of women used to write back immediately. Hundreds of moms who were up breastfeeding, changing diapers, worrying and stressing out about everything—doing all the same things I was doing. And my posts made us all feel a little less alone. Because when you’re breastfeeding in a dark room in the middle of the night and the rest of the world is asleep and your hormones are super whacked out, you feel alone. Very alone.
Now things are a little different because no one wakes me up anymore (insert angels singing here). Well, most nights they don’t. But I would like to think this blog still makes people feel a little less alone at more sane hours of the day.
So thanks to one random woman who had the courage to walk up to my table at Starbucks and say thank you, I’m not quitting this blog. She was a great reminder of why writing it is still worth it. Very worth it. Even as our rugrats get older, we still need each other.
People often ask me how do you start a blog and make money. And here’s my answer.
ME: You don’t.
You do it because you love it. You love writing or taking pictures or telling stories or designing rooms. And you like sharing that stuff with people. And if you’re good at it, you’ll give someone a smile, or an idea, or a laugh, or maybe even help them feel a little less alone in the world.
I wish I could go back to yesterday when that woman came up to me because I know exactly what I would say back now. I wouldn’t choke out a sad little an-cue. I would say, “Thank you. Thank you for making ME feel less alone. And for reminding me that this blog is absolutely worth it.”
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