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Ten reasons I’m thankful to live in America

Ten reasons I’m thankful to live in America

This is a post I started to write a few months ago, but never got the chance to finish. Who knows, maybe someone interrupted me or maybe I sneezed and wet my pants and had to go do another load of laundry. Anyways, I finally got a chance to come back and finish it, and…

Dear hubby, can we talk about, ummm, your poop?

Dear hubby, can we talk about, ummm, your poop?

Dear  hubby, as much as I lovvvvve you and really don’t want to change you at all, I would like to humbly BEG you to change a few of your pooping habits. Here goes. 1. If you poop, flush twice. Don’t think twice, FLUSH twice. Because your poops, my dear, are man poops, and you should…

Ten reasons I CHOOSE to look like crap

Ten reasons I CHOOSE to look like crap

1. I’d rather wear elastic waistband pants. And I don’t mean yoga pants that suck you in in all the right places. I mean pants that let you sag, droop, jiggle, ripple, expand and be comfortable in all the wrong places. 2. I’d rather keep eating chocolate and pizza and my kids’ leftover French fries. Even…

We really need to do something about this panhandler

We really need to do something about this panhandler

  Dear man who was just talking to me at the coffee shop, Wow, I love when random people come up to me and just start talking about stuff. You learn so much about people that way. Just a few sentences later, I feel like I know exactly who you are. You just told me that…

I am a woman, I have a vote, and I am not giving it to you

I am a woman, I have a vote, and I am not giving it to you

  Dear presidential candidate, I have a daughter. I have a mother. I have a sister. I have a vote. And I am not giving it to you. I’ve seen the things you say. The way you’ve spoken about women, minorities, people’s bodies, and people with disabilities. That’s the way bullies act. They look for…

Kids who do chores are less likely to grow up to be a-holes

Kids who do chores are less likely to grow up to be a-holes

So here’s the thing. Cinderella turned out to be awesome and her stepsisters grew up to be a-holes. Wanna know why? Chores. Yup, after Cinderella’s mom died and Muffy McGolddigger put the moves on her daddy, poor little Cindy was forced to do everything around the house. The dishes, the floors, the windows, etc etc etc. And I know her…

If that little switch inside my head flips, watch the F out

If that little switch inside my head flips, watch the F out

Inside my head there is a switch. Seriously, just take an x-ray and you’ll see it in there. And when someone won’t put their shoes on, or won’t go use the potty, or leaves a Lego on the stairs and I accidentally impale my foot on it, that switch might get flipped. And if that…