Dear Target, I’m sorry, but I’ve been cheating on you. A lot. Do I still love you? With all of my heart and soul and I still love pushing a cart around your store and putting way more things into it than what I came for, but it just doesn’t happen as much as…
Dear Zoey, So this morning was a little rough. I saw what happened. The way you purposely put your hair up in crazy pigtails and popped that unicorn headband on your head and headed off to school with energy and excitement and happy feelings.
So my hubby started something with my daughter about two years ago and it’s brilliant. He started this thing where whenever Zoey wants to talk about something private with him, she just has to say the word lockdown to him and they go into a room just the two of them and she can talk…
It killed me to write that title. KILLED me. I mean Disney is like my absolute favorite place on earth. At least that’s how I felt three weeks ago. This summer my hubby and I each planned a family trip to celebrate our ten-year anniversary– mine was to Disney World and his was to Acadia…
OMG, you’re not going to believe what just happened. So our family is shopping in this souvenir store, when suddenly I hear a big crash and then I hear Zoey screaming and crying, so of course I freak out and bolt across the store to find Zoey sobbing and holding her head. I’m looking around…
So you might notice something this summer. You might notice that we’re taking TWO big vacations. It’s NOT because we’ve made a lot of money this year. And it’s NOT because I’m a blogger and they’re giving us shit for free. And it’s NOT because we’ve come into some inheritance or something. Nope. I wish.…
Dear other moms, Okay, so here’s the thing. Feel free to judge me all you want. Judge me when you see me in the grocery store filling my cart with a crapload of sugary cereals. Judge me for losing it and yelling at my kids every other morning because they won’t get their shoes on.
This is a very special post. And I’m warning you in advance that it’s not funny. Not funny at all. In fact, it’s kinda sad. It started a couple of years ago when Zoey and I were driving somewhere and she said… ZOEY: I wish we had a bigger house.
To the mom whose kid wants to wear some crazy outfit today, Been there done that. And I know exactly what’s going through your head. “Oh no, I can’t let her wear THAT out in public.” Maybe she’s wearing rainbow shorts with a rainbow shirt. Or maybe she’s put on her Halloween costume in…
Awwwww shit, your kid is scratching her head. So you take a little peek in her hair and yup, only one word comes to mind. Shitfuckcrapdamnmotherfuckingcocksuckerbunghole. What’s that Merriam Webster? That’s not a real word? To hell it’s not. When your house get lice, let’s see if you can find any word in your dictionary…