How to make sure your kiddo has the best dang quarantine birthday ever!!

How to make sure your kiddo has the best dang quarantine birthday ever!!

We went into lockdown on March 13th and almost immediately Zoey asked the question that was bothering her the most. “Will this be finished by my birthday?” And I knew the answer. No. It broke my heart to tell her. I mean Zoey literally starts thinking about her next birthday party the second her last…

The BEST e-learning schedule I have EVER seen

The BEST e-learning schedule I have EVER seen

Question. Is anyone else getting tired of e-learning? ME!! ME!!!! I am!!! FYI, I’m raising my hand so F’ing high it’s touching the ceiling. Oh my gawwwddd, the constant questions, the impossible math, the messy science projects. I mean don’t get me wrong, the teachers are doing a totally kickass job, but I am not…

Are you FREAKING out about this? I know I am

Are you FREAKING out about this? I know I am

Okay, so I’m kinda freaking out. WTF are we going to do with our kids all summer?!! I know they haven’t officially canceled camp yet, but it’s looking like they won’t be going back in June and I’m not even sure I’ll feel good about sending them in July and unless the gods listen to…

A blog post from my daughter in the year 2044

A blog post from my daughter in the year 2044

Do you remember where you were in the year 2020? I know some of you were nothing more than little eggies and tadpoles in your mamas and dadas waiting to be conceived, but I was eleven (yes, I know I’m dating myself). Actually almost eleven. I remember because I’ll never forget my eleventh birthday. It…

A little story about the time our dog ate the guinea pig

A little story about the time our dog ate the guinea pig

Holy crap, you are not going to believe what happened in our house. So I’m tucking Holden into bed and he’s totally stalling by asking me questions he knows I have to answer and can’t ignore… “but Mom, how does the baby get out of the fagina?”… when all of the sudden I hear Zoey…

How to stay home but NOT to turn into that family from The Shining

How to stay home but NOT to turn into that family from The Shining

This sucks. Don’t get me wrong, I know social distancing is super important and saving lives and the Sideburns family will stay home and hunker down because we’re taking this very seriously. But still, it sucks. I’m a terrible homeschool mom, I go crazy without some alone time, I’m snacking constantly, and we’re only on…

8 things you’re probably doing because of the coronavirus

8 things you’re probably doing because of the coronavirus

Freaking out every time your kids walk into the house “WASH YOUR HANDS FOR TWENTY SECONDS RIGHT NOW BEFORE YOU TOUCH ANYTHING!!!!!” which is kinda hilarious because all day long at school they’re literally sucking on water fountains and taking other people’s boogers and putting them in their nose. Buying toilet paper out the wazoo

Six LITTLE things that can make a BIG difference on your Disney trip

Six LITTLE things that can make a BIG difference on your Disney trip

So in case you haven’t noticed, I LOVE LOVE LOVVVVVE one-on-one trips with my kids. Whether it’s a campout in the backyard or a three-day vacation. Giving each other that undivided attention for a good stretch of time does something for our relationship that we don’t get in our crazy everyday life. It doesn’t have…