You know what sucks? When you have to travel and miss your kiddos. I mean yeah, sure, sometimes it’s nice to get a good night sleep and take an uninterrupted shower and eat a whole meal sitting down without someone constantly asking your for milk or juice or dessert 9000 times, but then you remember…
Dear parents, Well well well, here we go again. Back to school. And as exciting as it is to think about someone else taking your bored, fighting, whiny douchenuggets off your hands for seven hours a day, for some reason once the first day of school comes around we get all teary-eyed and go through…
So Zoey and I are pet-sitting for some friends and we found this creepy doll in their toy area and I was like OMG that thing is scary. See? So I jumped on Facebook and showed you guys and then I asked if anyone had any other pictures of scary dolls and holy crap did…
There’s a moment when you’ll be walking around Washington DC or driving in a taxi from the airport and you’ll look around and you’ll be like holy crap. THIS. IS. AMAZING. There’s the Washington Monument! And the White House! And Jefferson’s Memorial! And the Capitol! Like the real live Capitol.
Yayyyy, we’re on a super fun girls’ trip in Washington DC, and I have SO much fun stuff planned!! A tour of the White House, the Air and Space Museum, the Spy Museum, etc etc etc!!! But as we’re driving to the BEP (the totally kickass place that prints all of country’s money), the Uber…
Holy crap. Wait, that’s not enough. HOLY. CRAP. For years we’ve been getting the same email home from the kids’ elementary school. This guy Victor Pacini is coming to the school to talk to the kiddos, blah blah blah, it’s a presentation about sexual abuse, yada yada yada. FYI, I included the blah blah blahs…
Does your kid’s camp post pictures online? So you can get a small glimpse into what they’re doing all day? Zoey’s does. And I know it’s supposed to make me feel good (about the 9 million dollars I spent there), but let me tell you something. It is turning me into a CRAZY person. Because…
People say you’re a cat person or a dog person. Well, I’m calling b.s. on that. Because I’m not either. I’m both. And when my cat 9-0 passed away three weeks ago, every time I walked into my bedroom I felt a hole in my heart. And I wanted a new fur baby to hold…
So apparently we scarred our kids for life. Isn’t that awesome? One minute we’re snuggling up on the couch together to watch a movie, and the next minute our kid needs 14 nightlights and refuses to sleep ever again. Dear Amazon Video,
Don’t get a pet. Do you know what they do? They make you fall madly in love with them and then they leave you. Now I know. It all started twenty years ago when I was young and stupid and had this random idea to swing on over to the animal shelter and pick up…