Okay, so I just bumped into this other mom from my daughter’s school and we started chatting. Hmmmm, what should I call her, lemme seeeee, how about Muffy McPerfectpants? Anyways, Muffy and I are chatting (she’s going on and on and on about the homemade gingerbread houses they made last night and I’m going on…
I did something stupid. I mean I do stupid stuff all the time, but this one makes me look like a total idiot. It all started the other morning when I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get the rugrats out the door for school. ME: Did you…
F.U. Hatchimals! F.U. I am NOT paying three times the price for your stupid toy because do you know what would happen if I did? My kid would just play with the box it came in. So if you’re like me and you’re not shelling out a bazillion dollars for Hatchimals, here is some other…
F me. Yes, I know those probably aren’t the classiest words to start a post with, but I really can’t think of two better words to describe the shitstorm that I brought upon my house this weekend. Are you ready for this tragedy? So on Saturday night we went out with friends to a Mexican…
I mean I’m pretty sure the title of this post says it all, but in case you need more, here is a list of awesome stuff that kids, moms and dads are actually going to want to get this holiday season. Because it’s hard to figure out new and exciting shit to get every year.…
This is a post I started to write a few months ago, but never got the chance to finish. Who knows, maybe someone interrupted me or maybe I sneezed and wet my pants and had to go do another load of laundry. Anyways, I finally got a chance to come back and finish it, and…
Dear hubby, as much as I lovvvvve you and really don’t want to change you at all, I would like to humbly BEG you to change a few of your pooping habits. Here goes. 1. If you poop, flush twice. Don’t think twice, FLUSH twice. Because your poops, my dear, are man poops, and you should…
1. I’d rather wear elastic waistband pants. And I don’t mean yoga pants that suck you in in all the right places. I mean pants that let you sag, droop, jiggle, ripple, expand and be comfortable in all the wrong places. 2. I’d rather keep eating chocolate and pizza and my kids’ leftover French fries. Even…
Dear man who was just talking to me at the coffee shop, Wow, I love when random people come up to me and just start talking about stuff. You learn so much about people that way. Just a few sentences later, I feel like I know exactly who you are. You just told me that…
Dear presidential candidate, I have a daughter. I have a mother. I have a sister. I have a vote. And I am not giving it to you. I’ve seen the things you say. The way you’ve spoken about women, minorities, people’s bodies, and people with disabilities. That’s the way bullies act. They look for…