Dear Thing 1, Thing 2 and my hubby, I LOVE you guys. Like I LOVVVVVVVVE you. But even though I love you more than life itself, sometimes I just need a break. Not like a six-night trip to the Caribbean (although that would be amazing). Just a wee little bit of “alone” time. Because…
This is not political. This is personal. You see these two faces? These are the faces behind the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare). That’s right. My sweet kids Zoey and Holden are on Obamacare. And so are me and my husband. And I am scared shitless right now. Years ago before Obamacare, we applied for…
(Based on a true story) ME: Holden, what do you want for breakfast? HOLDEN: Nothing. ME: You can’t have nothing. Do you want some toast? HOLDEN: I’m not hungry. ME: You’ll be hungry later at school. How about a banana? HOLDEN: I’m NOT hungry!! ME: You can’t NOT eat something (does that even make sense?).
Okay, so I just bumped into this other mom from my daughter’s school and we started chatting. Hmmmm, what should I call her, lemme seeeee, how about Muffy McPerfectpants? Anyways, Muffy and I are chatting (she’s going on and on and on about the homemade gingerbread houses they made last night and I’m going on…
I did something stupid. I mean I do stupid stuff all the time, but this one makes me look like a total idiot. It all started the other morning when I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get the rugrats out the door for school. ME: Did you…
F.U. Hatchimals! F.U. I am NOT paying three times the price for your stupid toy because do you know what would happen if I did? My kid would just play with the box it came in. So if you’re like me and you’re not shelling out a bazillion dollars for Hatchimals, here is some other…
F me. Yes, I know those probably aren’t the classiest words to start a post with, but I really can’t think of two better words to describe the shitstorm that I brought upon my house this weekend. Are you ready for this tragedy? So on Saturday night we went out with friends to a Mexican…
I mean I’m pretty sure the title of this post says it all, but in case you need more, here is a list of awesome stuff that kids, moms and dads are actually going to want to get this holiday season. Because it’s hard to figure out new and exciting shit to get every year.…
This is a post I started to write a few months ago, but never got the chance to finish. Who knows, maybe someone interrupted me or maybe I sneezed and wet my pants and had to go do another load of laundry. Anyways, I finally got a chance to come back and finish it, and…
Dear hubby, as much as I lovvvvve you and really don’t want to change you at all, I would like to humbly BEG you to change a few of your pooping habits. Here goes. 1. If you poop, flush twice. Don’t think twice, FLUSH twice. Because your poops, my dear, are man poops, and you should…