Why I’m cutting the mom who asks a million questions a little slack
Dear annoying million-questions mom,
Okay, so I get it. All of our kids are starting kindergarten next year for the first time. It’s new. It’s scary. But when we go to an informational session about it, do you seriously need to ask SOOOOO many questions??? The teachers are like are there any more questions, and every time we think it’s over, nope, your arm shoots up again. And again and again and again.
And do you know what I’m thinking? I don’t F’ing blame you.
Because when all of our kids leave us on that first day of school and I’m tearing up because my baby is leaving me for a whole entire day, here are some of the things I’m gonna be worried about. What if he doesn’t like his snack? What if he can’t find his locker? What if he doesn’t get to the potty on time? But here are some of the things you’re gonna be worried about. What if the kid sitting next to him is eating a PB&J? What if he has to sit all alone every lunch and he never makes any friends? What if someone gives him a cookie with nuts and he eats it and he can’t breathe and dies?
I mean sure, I worry about my kids dying every day (is that normal???), but my scenarios are like crazy-farfetched. You worry about shit that’s totally within the realm of possibility.
So please, ignore the jerkwads in the room who are rolling their eyes every time your arm shoots up. We’ll sit here a little longer while you ask your questions about the cafeteria and snack time and the nurse’s office and EpiPens. You need answers to your questions. Like your kid’s life depends on it. And that’s totally worth an extra half hour of our time.
Sincerely,
The mom in the back row who was annoyed with all your questions until she put herself in your shoes for a moment
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Yesssssssss! So much this. I went to an orientation for my little one the other night and I waited until the session was almost over to ask the question I didn’t want to ask because then I’d be the morbid/A-holey mom for asking, “Do you have a contingency plan in place for escape and protection of these kids in case of a threat?” I asked with fear in my heart because it’s sad that these are the kinds of questions you have to ask. The teachers answered my questions and I had many parents nod their heads and thumbs up for asking. They are so little and there is so much ugliness out there. In my case, I could only have one so you better believe I’m going to ask all the questions I need to so that I feel at ease letting her go (even if for 5 and half hours a day). LOVE your posts! Keep them coming.
I worry everyday about a threat at my kids’ school so your question about having a contingency/escape plan at your school is so essential. Props to you for asking the tough and uncomfortable questions!
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THANK YOU SO MUCH for this!! My kids have multiple life-threatening food allergies and I just had orientation a few weeks ago since my daughter is starting K. I was that mom that was super concerned about everything you mentioned. I asked all those questions w/o looking around too much because I saw at least one parent rolling their eyes. My own family did that to us in the beginning. Ever watch your baby stop breathing, turn blue and pass out from eating bread?? I did. It’s not being dramatic or paranoid. The fear is reasonable. I’m SO grateful to you for shedding some light on this and trying to relate to the difficult challenge we deal with everyday. LOVE, love your posts!!
Love that you are a champion for Food Allergic children. Trust me, we don’t want to be the parent that asks 1000 questions. It would be so much easier for us to only worry about academic achievement, or a bathroom accident. At any rate, from my experience, I already know how the school will manage my children’s food allergies as I have had the conversation about 504 plans, but these parent meetings are critical in establishing a compassionate school culture with the other parents. It is so much worst to receive an email that discusses the food restrictions in a classroom, versus seeing the humans behind such policies. I always say – the only thing worse than losing a child to a food allergy is being the person responsible when it happened.
Thank you for your post!
Thank you so much for this.
I totally agree! I remember when my girls started school. The principal said something like “you’re entrusting us with your child, we take that trust extremely seriously” after all these years (my girls are now 17&14) I still remember the huge feeling of relief I, and probably all the other parents, felt when she said that. It’s a HUGE responsibility, we are entrusting these people with our most prized treasure, our children, our reason for living, (except when they’re being A**holes, then they’re their Dads treasure ?) so hell yes it’s a huge responsibility, no matter how many children you have, (although for me it was a little bit easier with our youngest as by then our eldest had been there for 3 years, So we knew the school well, but I still needed to know they would my second baby as well as they had treated my first), so yes ask as many questions as you need, no matter how many other parents may be rolling their eyes! <3