Zoey lost her screen time for a week. A week!! It’s kind of a long story, but basically she was just acting like Little Miss Poopypants and I told her if she didn’t knock it off that I’d take away screen time, and she must have confused me with a nice mom because instead of…
Dear mom who wears pajama pants in public places, We need to talk. Helllllloooo, don’t you know that pajamas are for bedtime? NOT for out and about when you’re running errands. I mean yeah, I guess it’s okay to wear them to your mailbox (quickly so the neighbors don’t see you), but seriously? Shouldn’t…
Imagine this. You’re sitting at work in the middle of the day when your phone buzzes. A text. Just an average text from a friend and you quickly glance at it. You read the first few words. Your heart stops. Your heart drops. Your heart lurches into your throat. No, this can’t be happening.…
So yesterday I was chatting with my friend who’s in her early forties and she mentions to me that she’s never had a mammogram, and I’m like WTF? HER: I know. But I’m scared they’re gonna tell me I have cancer? ME: That makes sense. You should totally wait until the cancer gets really big…
Family Greatly Big Game Gift Card Sweepstakes Official Rules NO PURCHASE OR PAYMENT OF ANY KIND IS NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A PURCHASE OR PAYMENT WILL NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED OR RESTRICTED BY LAW. OPEN TO ELIGIBLE LEGAL RESIDENTS OF THE 50 UNITED STATES AND DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA WHO,…
Dear woman who left that lovely comment on my page, I just wanted to say thank you for leaving such an insightful comment on my page. I totally hear what you’re saying. Who the heck are all of these women signing their posts with #metoo? And carrying their useless women’s rights posters that do…
Dear Mark Zuckerberg, I am a mom. I became a mom eight years ago, and it was the most exciting, confusing, amazing, terrifying, isolating, happy, exhausting time of my life. There were plenty of hours of the day that I was with my husband or friends, but there were also a crazy number of…
Ummmmmm. Can I show you what my bedroom looks like right now? Nope, not how messy it is. It’s actually not as messy as usual because a week ago I freaked out on my rugrats and made them both clean their rooms, and then I walked into my room and realized I was calling the…
*”RetailMeNot” SWEEPSTAKES OFFICIAL RULES *NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A PURCHASE OR PAYMENT OF ANY KIND WILL NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW ELIGIBILITY:The “RetailMeNot” Sweepstakes (“Sweepstakes”) is open only to legal residents of the fifty (50) United States and the District of Columbia (void in Puerto Rico,…
Before you start reading, this post is sponsored by RetailMeNot and they are giving away a kickass prize, aka MONEYYYYYY. So keep reading. So the other day I made the mistake of taking the kids shopping and it was a disassssster. I swear literally every item they saw in the store, they were like, “Mom,…