You don’t want to miss this!!!!

You don’t want to miss this!!!!

Holy crap, Zoey is on the rampage. I can’t stop her. She has been signing hundreds of bookplates. I’m like Zoey, stop, you don’t have to do anymore. ZOEY: I want to! I’m gonna do them all. See? HUNDREDS!!!! If you want one of these bookplates for FREE, all you have to do is buy…

A Disney Cruise: The truth, the whole truth and nuthin’ but the truth

A Disney Cruise: The truth, the whole truth and nuthin’ but the truth

Wahhhhhh, I am SO mad at Disney. Like seriously pissed off. They have made coming back to reality after our cruise crazy hard. But Mama’s gotta bring home the bacon to pay for things… like another cruise. Anyways, we were cruise virgins before this one, so I’d be a jerkwad not to share what I…

Why Newtown changed me forever

Why Newtown changed me forever

Doo doo doo doo doooooo, driving home from the library where I just dropped off eleven books that were just a few days late and one book that was due seventeen weeks ago but I didn’t know about it until the library called me to ask me where the F it was so I had…

A Letter to My Kids’ Teachers

A Letter to My Kids’ Teachers

  Dear Mr. or Ms. Badass, Yeah, I know that’s not really your name, but I’m calling you that. Because you, my friend, are amazing. Wait, that doesn’t do your amazingness justice. You, are SOOO F’ING AMAAAAAZINGGGGGG!!!!!! Yeah, I know I probably shouldn’t curse to my kid’s teacher, so give me a detention or suspend…

My hubby and I probably don’t have sex enough

My hubby and I probably don’t have sex enough

So please don’t tell anyone this (especially not my hubby) but there are like a million reasons I don’t want to have sex tonight. Wait, that’s not exactly what I mean. I mean I do want to have sex, but there are like a crapload of other things I’d rather do instead. Like I’d rather…

ALL babies are beautiful, even the ones who look a little different

So when Zoey came out of me, she was gorrrrrgeous. I mean yeah, she was covered in blood and a disgusting cheese-like substance and her face was all swollen like all babies are when they are born, but once she was cleaned off I thought she was the most gorgeous, wonderful, beautiful sight I had…

Ten ways mediocre moms are changing the world!! (they just might not know it)

Ten ways mediocre moms are changing the world!! (they just might not know it)

Okay, so if you’re anything like me, you’re not winning any mom-of-the-year trophies, and maybe you feel a little bad about that. But here’s the thing. Don’t. I know it’s hard when you see these overachieving moms doing all kinds of impressive things on Facebook and Pinterest every day. But mediocre moms are awesome too,…

An important message from Baby Sideburns

An important message from Baby Sideburns

Hi. It’s me. Duhh, who else would be writing my blog? I mean yeah I guess there are plenty of pages that have lots of different writers but not here. Nope, here I pretty much do it all. I guess it all started because I like to write. And then when my audience started to…

Awww crap, someone in your kid’s class has strep

Ding! There it is. A new email sitting in your inbox. “Someone in your kid’s class has strep throat.” And one word goes through your head. F**K!!!!!!!!! The email just says some unnamed mystery kid in the class has strep and then it goes on and on and on about what strep is. And you’re…

Ten white lies I tell my kids that really aren’t white at all

1. I say things like, “No, honey, I have no idea where your xylophone is,” when really I know exactly where it is. In the bag of toys I just dropped off at Goodwill. 2. When they’re eating something yummy like ice cream or pizza, I tell them I need to check it and make…