Dear parents, Well well well, here we go again. Back to school. And as exciting as it is to think about someone else taking your bored, fighting, whiny douchenuggets off your hands for seven hours a day, for some reason once the first day of school comes around we get all teary-eyed and go through…
It’s official. I’ve hit rock bottom. It all started about four weeks ago when my hubby and I were watching TV on the couch one night. I had my computer in my lap and I was shopping on the Internet. HUBBY: What are you looking at? ME: Nothing.
Dear Hubby, So last year we had a conversation about holiday gifts, and I see where you’re coming from. I understand that you REALLY want to pick out your own present and surprise me. And while I love the spirit of that, we’ve tried it your way for the past decade, and welllll, we’re…
ME: I am soooo NOT looking forward to packing the whole family for our vacation. HUBBY: Want me to do it? Grrrrrr. The only reason he offers to pack is to get brownie points because he knows there’s no way I would ever let him pack for us. Why? Because I prefer spending our…
Zoey is pissed. Pisssssssssed. I got to order a bunch of stuff from thredUP (the most badass online consignment store!) and I only bought stuff for myself and I didn’t get anything for her. How dare I think about myself for the first time in seven years!! And now she is insisting that I share…
ME: Zoey, get dressed. ZOEY: I don’t know what to wear. ME: You have a closet full of clothes. Just pick something. (I come back two minutes later and she’s standing in the exact same spot.) ME: Zoey, please get dressed. And don’t forget to put on new underwear.