My hubby and I probably don’t have sex enough

So please don’t tell anyone this (especially not my hubby) but there are like a million reasons I don’t want to have sex tonight. Wait, that’s not exactly what I mean. I mean I do want to have sex, but there are like a crapload of other things I’d rather do instead.

Like I’d rather go to bed early. I know that sounds ridiculously lame, but we didn’t get a full night’s sleep for like 5+ years, so I’m still catching up. And I lovvvve sleeping. Like if you gave me the chance to meet the Queen of England but it was at 11PM, I might pause to decide whether it’s worth it.

And speaking of sleeping, if it’s the morning, I’d rather sleep in than have morning sex. Well, sleep in until 6:30 when one of the rugrats storms in to wake us up. Sometimes I wake up at 5:30 and I know I could totally roll over on him right now and we could “do it,” but the kids are going to be in here in less than an hour so it’s not like we can do it and then go back to sleep afterwards, like we used to do before we had kiddos.

And I know I should just motivate because it’s really not that difficult to quickly bang it out. But A. I shouldn’t want to just bang it out, and B. when we finally get the kids to calm down and go to bed at night, there are only two things I want to do. Watch TV and vedge out. I go go go all day long and never stop, and by 9PM I am exhaussssted. On a good day I have the energy to surf Instagram while we’re watching TV (multitasking!!), but motivating to look sexy and have a sweaty workout just isn’t top priority.

But here’s the thing. Last night we did it. Oh yeahhh, baby. We did it big time. And it was awesome. And afterwards I was thinking, that was super fun and we need to do that more often!! But I know tomorrow night I’m going to be sitting on the couch thinking all I want to do right now is sit here and watch TV and roll into bed when I’m tired and fall fassssst asleep.

And I’ll totally feel guilty about not doing it until we do it again because we probably don’t do it enough. I mean who the hell knows what “enough” is anyway. For some couples, enough is once a week, for some it’s once a month, and for some it’s probably less and for some it’s probably more.

But we are who we are. And we love each other. And we love sleep. And we love watching TV. And we love sex. When we do it.

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I’m not a perfect wife or mom, so I wrote a book about it, and it comes out TOMORROW!!!! Yayyyy! Here it is. Here are some places you can get it. And here is where you can order a FREE signed bookplate to go in your book.


There are 8 comments for this article
  1. kmdelooff at 12:17 pm

    I want someone to write about how tricky it is to have s*x when you have teens & tweens in the house, who totally stay up later than you, and are far too aware of what their parentals may be up to when you try to sneak away. I’d write it, but I’m way too exhausted!

  2. Debbi at 3:28 pm

    I think you just wrote about me and my hubby.

  3. Julia M. at 3:46 pm

    this post… said every mother EVER! (probably… I know I do)

  4. adrienne at 6:04 pm

    That is so my life right now ?

  5. Care at 12:21 pm

    To Kmdeloof, I totally hear you….like how do you have s*x in a house with a 15 year old? I mean, it’s bad enough not getting any, but manage to get some slee. It’s worse when you end up in bed 45 minutes later than you should, have s*x and then….no sleep until 2 am cause now you have gotten your 2nd wind. This is so much an issue when one wakes up at 5:30.

  6. Shelbi DeSomma at 11:52 pm

    This may be a little to graphic for some people so your getting fair warning. My hubby and I are always tired ,I don’t have little ones anymore in the house and out of my 4 only my 15 year old baby is left -at home ,so yes tricky,now this my second marriage,we have been together 8 yrs and have no kids together,but 8 years ago all my kids were still with me at home,we still managed to find a way to have s*x every day ,usually while the kids were at school,or at there dads or at a friends.Lately like in the last 4 months our s*x life has dropped drastically,we went a whole month without it, which has never happened .We have been so tired ,and he can last a while like 20-30 mins a while ,but I found a position that he lasts only about 10 mins max he says cause it feels unbelievable and we call it our lazy position,and it’s spooning,we never did it before I don’t know why ,but omg does it feel awesome and he can finish quicker ,I get my orgasm or 3,and don’t feel like I just ran a marathon,lol so maybe that will help you gals out a little.Also no matter what we sleep naked now , we didn’t start doing that til about 3 yrs ago. It actually makes you feel much closer with your spouse,and if it’s cold you will A tube warmer,from the body heat,so if you can do that I highly suggest it.

  7. Rene at 5:40 pm

    Our 19 yr old is moving back home within the next week. We still have a 12 yr old at home. I am disabled so I am at home but my husband works at least 40 hrs a week (often 50 or more). By the time everything is done every day, we don’t do much more than watch a bit of television. We are often so exhausted that we fall into bed and crash out!!

    On the weekends, depending on how tired we are, we will lie down for at least one nap. That inevitably leads to s*x at least once every weekend. On a good weekend, two or three times, lol!! Doorknobs have locks for a reason 😉