So please don’t tell anyone this (especially not my hubby) but there are like a million reasons I don’t want to have sex tonight. Wait, that’s not exactly what I mean. I mean I do want to have sex, but there are like a crapload of other things I’d rather do instead.
Like I’d rather go to bed early. I know that sounds ridiculously lame, but we didn’t get a full night’s sleep for like 5+ years, so I’m still catching up. And I lovvvve sleeping. Like if you gave me the chance to meet the Queen of England but it was at 11PM, I might pause to decide whether it’s worth it.
And speaking of sleeping, if it’s the morning, I’d rather sleep in than have morning sex. Well, sleep in until 6:30 when one of the rugrats storms in to wake us up. Sometimes I wake up at 5:30 and I know I could totally roll over on him right now and we could “do it,” but the kids are going to be in here in less than an hour so it’s not like we can do it and then go back to sleep afterwards, like we used to do before we had kiddos.
And I know I should just motivate because it’s really not that difficult to quickly bang it out. But A. I shouldn’t want to just bang it out, and B. when we finally get the kids to calm down and go to bed at night, there are only two things I want to do. Watch TV and vedge out. I go go go all day long and never stop, and by 9PM I am exhaussssted. On a good day I have the energy to surf Instagram while we’re watching TV (multitasking!!), but motivating to look sexy and have a sweaty workout just isn’t top priority.
But here’s the thing. Last night we did it. Oh yeahhh, baby. We did it big time. And it was awesome. And afterwards I was thinking, that was super fun and we need to do that more often!! But I know tomorrow night I’m going to be sitting on the couch thinking all I want to do right now is sit here and watch TV and roll into bed when I’m tired and fall fassssst asleep.
And I’ll totally feel guilty about not doing it until we do it again because we probably don’t do it enough. I mean who the hell knows what “enough” is anyway. For some couples, enough is once a week, for some it’s once a month, and for some it’s probably less and for some it’s probably more.
But we are who we are. And we love each other. And we love sleep. And we love watching TV. And we love sex. When we do it.
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I’m not a perfect wife or mom, so I wrote a book about it, and it comes out TOMORROW!!!! Yayyyy! Here it is. Here are some places you can get it. And here is where you can order a FREE signed bookplate to go in your book.