Ten different kinds of playdates your kid might have over
Play dates are AWESOME… if (and this is a BIG if) IF the kid plays nicely with your kid without too much intervention. Because some kids are super easy and you’re able to get shit done around the house while they play, but some kids make your life a living hell until they leave and you add one more name to the list of munchkins you’re never inviting over again. So without further ado, drum roll please, badadadadadadada, may I present ten different kinds of play dates your kid might have over:
1. The kid who constantly wants another snack
He’s basically the human equivalent to a Dyson Vacuuum cleaner and once he’s sucked up every last piece of food in your pantry, his mom shows up and you’re like, “It was great! You owe me $147 for groceries.”
2. The kid who always wants to do something else
YOU: Who wants to play Monopoly Junior?!!
RUGRAT: I do!! But fourteen seconds after you set it up, I’m going to say I’m bored and want to play Twister, and then painting, and then cars, and then Wii, and then make a tent, and then I’m gonna pour the entire bin of Legos out in the middle of your floor, click two pieces together, and then move on to something else.
3. The kid who starts every sentence with “At my house we get to”
Wellllll, isn’t that special? The next time you want to ride home without a seatbelt on and get a triple scoop banana split and stay up until midnight watching horror movies, you can have the play date at your house. With someone else’s child.
4. The kid who would rather be hanging out with YOU
Look kid, if I wanted to have a playdate, I’d invite my own friends over and it would be BYOB.
5. The kid who refuses to use your potty
And then suddenly he says to you, “I pooped,” and you’re like awwww shit, where? But you know exactly where. And the only thing worse than cleaning a log smushed against your own kid’s butt is cleaning someone else’s.
6. The kid who doesn’t want to leave
Ding dong!!! “Come on So-and-So, your mom’s here!!” Only she stays for another hour because you to search every nook and cranny to find her, and then when you finally find Little Miss Houdini, she pitches a huge fit and won’t put her shoes on for her mom while you stand off to the side watching awkwardly and secretly thinking, “Aggghhhh, I haven’t even started cooking dinner yet and my kid’s bedtime is in six minutes!”
7. The kid who constantly wants to watch TV
RUGRAT: Can we watch TV? Can we watch TV? Can we watch TV?
Ummm, no, the purpose of having a playdate is not to plop the kids in front of the boob tube until they are motionless zombies. That’s what I do when you’re not here.
8. The kid who wants to go outside… until he’s out there
Are you F’ing kidding me?!! A. I just sunscreened you. B. I just filled up the baby pool. C. I just helped you put on your stinky socks and shoes. And D. I’m locking the door and you can’t come back in until I say you can.
9. The kid who’s homesick
Look kid, as much as I want to send you home, if I did I would look like a total failure. Plus, your mom is out shopping at Target and hell if I’m going to interrupt something sacred like that.
10. The kid who will definitely be invited back
Ruh-roh, I haven’t heard from the kids for at least two hours. I hope they’re alive. Oh well, if they’re not, it’s too late now and I might as well read this entire magazine before I go check on them.
If you liked this, please don’t forget to like and share it and subscribe to this page!!
And if you want something fun to read when your kids go back to school, get my new book I Want My Epidural Back!! It’s getting awesome reviews on Amazon, except that one shartface who thinks I curse too much. Sorry, shartface.
You forgot two- The Tattler and The kid who arrived with a hand held device. Both are a disaster:)
…also the kid who arrives at your house and thinks they should get their way about everything cause “I’m the guest”… until your kid is practically in tears doing everything they can to make this rotter happy and not “call my mom and tell her to fetch me”
#9- try it with snow clothes during the winter.
Our playdates usually consist of my three year old playing in one room while the other three year old plays in another. At least my antisocial child is quiet.
so true and it just gets worse the older the kid gets so, so love having 13 & 16 friends over *sigh*
Kid who shows up with a leaky faucet for a nose.
Or the kid who will only eat McDonalds, microwaved chicken nuggets, popcorn or chicken noodle soup. Nothing else. Nothing.
Really nice tips. What I find more difficult is to be as consistent as I want to be, because I can write good content, but then I have to create good photos as well, it’s easy when you’re making an outfit post or something like that, but when you want to talk about lets say fashion week, you cannot use pictures from other websites, I do get it, they have all the right over their pictures, I just find it frustrating that not even giving them credits is enough for you to be able to use pictures of events you cant attend because…you’re not so fabulous yet lol. It seems like a lot of people do it, but too be honest I don’t feel like risking my blog because of that, getting in trouble with the law is the las thing I want. Ok, creating original content is brilliant, but seriously, when you want to talk about fashion (that is not you), it just makes it impossible!
You forgot the kid who comes over to my house this past Saturday and says “I heard you are getting divorced” in front of my child who has no clue (she is 8). Her parents are in the middle of a divorce, so as I pulled my heart out of my throat, and tried not to reach for hers, I quickly said, “no you must have misunderstood, your mom and I were talking about your parents divorce”. I almost freaking died, and quickly texted her mom to tell her kid to keep her freaking mouth shut. OMG, I will rank this as worst play date ever that almost sent me into cardiac arrest. I shall now keep my trap shut about this so my daughter does not find out that we are separated (and still living together for now) until we are actually going to move out. UGH!!!