Dear Katy Perry, I’m a little pissed about something you did last night on American Idol


Dear Katy Perry,

Wow I think you are awesome. I mean your music is awesome, you always look so amazing, and you just seem like a pretty good person. I mean yeah, I know that probably doesn’t mean much coming from a lame 45-year-old, so take it for what it’s worth. But here’s the thing, my hubby and I saw you do something on American Idol last night and we’re kind of a little pissed about it.

So remember that boy who came on, Blaze or something like that. I could look it up but I’m being lazy right now. Okay, so maybe this will remind you. He’s nineteen, awkwardly cute, and told you guys that he’s never been in a relationship before. You guys asked, does that mean you’ve never kissed a girl? And he said, duhhh, I just said I’ve never been in a relationship. I was like awwwww, what a sweetheart. He’s waiting for the right girl to have his first kiss. So sweet, right?

So what did you do? You were super cute and called him up to give you a kiss on the cheek. So he did. And then you said it wasn’t big enough, so he went to kiss you on the cheek again, only this time you turned your head and tricked him into giving you a smooch on the mouth.

My hubby and I were watching and my hubby was like, holy crap, that kid just got his first kiss from Katy Perry!! How awesome is that?!! And I was like hmmm, I don’t know. I mean maybe this kid is psyched. Or maybe he’s not because he’s been waiting to be in a relationship so he can share his first kiss with a special girl. My hubby laughed at me and said I was being crazy. So I said…

ME: What if Luke Bryan had done that to a nineteen-year-old girl?

And my hubby thought about it. For a while. I’d say for a good twenty seconds he sat there in silence thinking. And then he responded…

HUBBY: I didn’t think of it like that. That would NOT have been okay. (thinks for a little longer) Wait, that’s totally a double standard.

Uhhh, yeahhhhh. So Katy, I know you didn’t mean anything huge by it. But there are millions of children watching your every move. Girls and boys. And when you kiss a boy on the lips without his permission, when you trick him into that, you’re teaching our children the wrong thing. I’m not saying every teenager out there has to ask permission for every single little kiss, but you do have to be pretty sure that’s what someone wants before you do that.

We wouldn’t accept it from Luke Bryan. We wouldn’t accept it from Lionel Richie. And we, as strong awesome women, need to be setting the same example we expect from men.


A mom who can’t wait to watch American Idol with her children

P.S. Send me tickets to your next show and all will be forgiven.

P.P.S. Just kidding.

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There are 68 comments for this article
  1. Kimberly Badejo at 10:27 am

    Karen! Thank you! I’m sure she meant nothing malicious, but the message is the same. I love that your hubby got it…I have to constantly slow it down for my hubby about our son and daughters, too lol

    • JONATHAN at 1:25 pm

      You might have to slow this down for me, but didn’t you just do the same thing? Basically, how I read your comment was “I love that your husband was smart enough to catch on; I have to constantly slow things down for my dimwit hubby.” Please correct me if I’m wrong, but if I publicly implied that my wife was slow, I would probably have a lawsuit filed against me. Honeslty, this doesn’t really bother me, but I just thought I should point it out since we’re on the topic of double standards.

  2. Sue at 10:38 am

    I totally agree with you. Some kids out there are waiting for the right person and she was totally out of line.

  3. Teresa at 11:18 am

    Actually, by conduct standards at many colleges, they do have to get verbal consent for each act of intimacy, including kissing. As things “progress” you have to seek verbal consent repeatedly to avoid the perceived consent issues. You are 100% spot on with your assessment. Thank you.

  4. Cynthia Carr at 11:32 am

    Way to call it! We cannot have a double standard. Growing up is confusing enough! Again, thank you for speaking up and out!

  5. PATRICIA MYLES at 11:36 am

    Good for you for calling her (in a VERY NICE way) on that. I don’t watch the show (I’m older than dirt), but I saw the hijacking of that young boy on the news. Had to rewind and re-watch to make sure my eyes and brain were working in tandem, which they don’t always do.

    • KittyPurry at 1:50 am

      In a nice way? You do read right?

  6. loriflori at 11:45 am

    I’d have been ticked off because I don’t even CARE for Katy Perry, and if she thought she was doing him a favor by being his first kiss, I like her even less. She tricked him into the kiss, just like some perverts tricked aspiring actresses into coming into their bedrooms. The entertainment industry really needs to work on themselves.

  7. Hannah at 11:45 am

    Thank you! Respect is respect, both directions. Like you said, if it had gone the other way it would have been a huge issue. Should still be this way. I have two boys and two girls and I teach them both the same. Respect, verbal manners and no means no…period.

  8. Furlong at 11:49 am

    Agreed! Watching was very uncomfortable.

  9. Julie Dawson at 11:51 am

    Amen sistah! As a mom of a little boy and a former sexual assault counselor/advocate, I could not have said it better myself. Thank you and your husband for getting it, and you for putting it out there – I hope Katy hears about it and listens!

  10. Dee at 11:59 am

    YAAAAASSSSSS! I felt the exact same way. I could see the confused look on his face like wait did that just happen, was it supposed to happen?!? I think everyone thought it was cute but what about his feelings? What if you are right and he was saving himself for his first kiss? Not many of our kids place much value on the special moments like a first kiss. I just hope his second kiss is SPECTACULAR because it will be with someone he is in a relationship with <3

  11. Michelle Blackwell at 12:35 pm

    Thank you for calling attention to a poor boy who may or may not have been tricked ( I say this because we don’t know what went on behind the scenes before this was shot, like maybe it was planned before they went live.) But still to the general public this poor boy was tricked into giving away his first kiss to someone he doesn’t love. His shyness, his Religion, his upbringing, may have all given in to this thought process and sadly Katy Perry may have stolen that. Look at all the women filing charges against the men who abused, molested, drugged, and rapped them nearly 40 years ago for some. One day the Men are going to become stronger and come out as well. I don’t watch American Idol, never have but this gives me one more reason to never start.

    • KittyPurry at 1:15 am

      Wow. You must be fun at parties

  12. Kim at 2:00 pm

    She was out of line but I am pretty darn sure she will never get it, or give two fucks. She strikes me as someone who won’t care or doesn’t think. Just my opinion on that certain person.

    • KittyPurry at 1:51 am

      Well considering she didnt actually do anything wrong i dont thinknshe should give any fucks.

  13. Amy at 2:48 pm

    And in addition to that she owes him a second chance because she completely threw him off. I don’t know him personally but I have viewed and listen to some of his covers and original music on YouTube since last night and he is very talented! Didn’t get a fair shot!

    • Myra McDaniel at 5:30 pm

      I agree whole-heartedly. He did not get a fair chance. Bring him back for another shot & have hot-lips millionairess thang keep her lips off him BEFORE he auditions for something I’m sure he’s been planning on & practicing for for quite some time!!!

    • Kari at 10:30 pm

      Absolutely.. I know Ben personally and he is very talented. She totally threw him off his course. If it was planned, the whole thing was planned, including the song. That was not his best, either because she kissed him or because they told him not to do his best. He deserves a better shot than what was given to him.

  14. Phillip at 2:57 pm

    Katy Perry is a satanist! Keep your kids away from her and her music. Don’t believe me? Just google her name and how often she throws up occult symbols. She doesn’t care about anyone else certainly not some young boy… She did it all for the money and fame now she is stuck and she says it herself during interviews. Don’t take my word for it, you can take hers

    • KittyPurry at 1:52 am

      A satanist? Can i have some of whatever you’re smoking? Must be some strong s**t

  15. Julia Cornell at 3:06 pm

    I saw them show it again on the news this morning and thought the same thing, Karen. As the mom of 3 boys, I saw it as a show of power over a young man who was in a weaker position. How is this any different than when a potential boss gets handy with a young female interviewee? It’s NOT. Thanks for calling her and the media out on it.

  16. Amyj at 5:29 pm

    I had the same exact thought! What is a male judge had done that with a young girl!

  17. Mom at 6:06 pm

    Another interesting pov is that Katy assumed that he would even want a kiss from HER – isn’t that conceited and self centered. Celebrities are so used to everyone laughing at their jokes, vying for their attention, OF COURSE a boy would want to kiss her… taking out the double standard (because I agree that an older man doing that to a young girl feels wrong) what if he was gay and had no interested in kissing her. Kissing should be something that BOTH people agree to. It’s certainly not polite to sniper kiss anyone.

  18. Lisa Jahn at 7:21 pm

    What if he didn’t want his first kiss to be with a girl at all? What if he was hoping to share his first kiss with someone he really loves? What if he has been waiting to share his first kiss with his best friend?

  19. Teri at 7:59 pm

    Thank you for posting this! You’re right, had it been Luke kissing a young woman like that it would’ve been headlining news, he’d be fired already and people would be raging. It’s a terrible double standard that it was shown to be all cute just bc it was a woman kissing a young man without permission!
    I’ve noticed this same thing with teacher/student “relationships” that are on the news. If it’s a female teacher with a male student there’s a completely different tone than when it’s male teacher/female student. I’ve noticed that when it’s a female teacher the media will even sometimes use the word “relationship” where with a male teacher they use terms like predator and abuse. It’s a complete double standard and I would imagine it stops a lot of young men from coming forward when they are victimized. Shame on Katy Perry and the producers for that stunt!

    • Mary-nell Irvin at 9:19 pm

      I also did not like that interaction between Kate and the young contestant because she invaded his personal space which was unfair for a number of reasons. The first thought that came to my mind was that her aggresive action would affect his singing performance. She was entering into his nervous system and it was just an intrusion on him as he was attempting to gather some composure to play and sing what he had intended to do.

  20. Eleanor Correa at 9:30 pm

    I too never thought of it that way but you’re right. What I didn’t like is that she criticized him so he left with his first kiss experience being, “I’m not very good at that.” She embarrassed him. Oh and I love you!

  21. Kim at 11:31 pm

    She did the same thing when she pinched Shawn Mendes’ b**t at an awards show. He’s like 14 years younger than her…and had it been a man doing it to a girl there would have been an uproar.

  22. KittyPurry at 1:13 am

    Just gunna put this out there. Who effing care’s if you apprive or nit of what she did. You’re entitled to your opinions. But you’re not entitled to share them. Why you feel the need to share your close minded view with the world i’ll never know. Remember that just because YOU think its wrong DOESN’T mean it is wrong. And ps. I hope the rock you’re living under is at least comfortable. Xoxo

    • Kiamise at 11:01 am

      You really need a Snickers or something. Hangry, sleepy, idk but you’re being pretty unreasonable. It’s a blog post. I’d expect to see the writer share her opinion, and I’d expect to see commenters agreeing or disagreeing. That’s kind of how this whole blogging thing works. Also consent is a thing. It’s a really important thing. If living under a rock is a requirement to gain that bit of knowledge more people should be crawling up under them.

    • Teri at 1:38 pm

      Just like you’re entitled to have an opinion yet you’re sharing your’s here, right?
      Remember, that just because YOU think it’s right DOESN’T mean it is.

    • Audrey Sand at 8:59 pm

      Everyone’s entitled to share their opinions, dummy. That’s why all of your stupid comments are still up. 😉

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  25. Angela at 5:43 am

    You’re a middle-aged person complaining in the name of someone else. If the 19-year-old has any problems with what happened, it’s up to him to speak out.

  26. Chris at 7:26 am

    That kiss was so staged for the show. Stop over analyzing and enjoy the show.

    I can’t believe anyone would think that interaction was real.

    Soccer moms should stop the SJW act. They always try to act like something they are not and turn generally good/fun/cool things into something negative/uncool. Im sure this kid isn’t looking to be made into a political pawn by a soccer mom.

    • Teri at 1:46 pm


      Yet here you are reading a blog written by a “soccer mom”. What does that make you?

  27. Tony at 8:05 am

    It seems to me, that what females think is not acceptable to them is acceptable if they do the same thing to males. Ex: a certain female talk show host has no problem to have male strippers go into the audience to dance with the mostly all female audiences. If a male talk show host did this with female strippers, he may not have a job the next day.

  28. Lieza at 8:30 am

    This article is missing one major thing.

    Katy Perry pulled a Harvey Wienstein. She used her position and power to ask a kid to give her a kiss. That child wants her to approve of him, and he’s infront of an audience. Of course he’s going to do what she asks. Then, she tricks him on top of it. Absolutely disgusting.

    Not every boy and man wants to make out with Katy Perry. Hell, kid may even be gay.

  29. Rod R at 2:14 pm

    While the kiss may not have been the right thing to do, stop making it sound like it was molesting a child. He was 19. That is considered an adult in most areas of the law. If he was a 15yr old BOY, that’s one thing, but he is not. He is a 19 yr old man, albeit a young man, but a man still the same.

    • Kim at 5:33 pm

      You’re right, it wouldn’t be molestation. It’s sexual assault

  30. Gail Rose-Costello at 3:15 pm

    Ok so do you all think for one second that this was not rehearsed? I am sure that Katy didn’t just decide that she was gonna lay one on that kid and risk a lawsuit. Come on people, use your brains!

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  32. Clarence Flapdoodle at 4:20 pm

    While you folks are busy getting into various snits over this non-event, you’re doing exactly what the producers of the show wanted: you’re giving it attention. You’re giving a clapped-out, tired, nearly-dormant TV franchise a new lease on life it doesn’t deserve.

    Look, I’ll break it to you gently: teevee makes you stupid. Sorry, but that’s the truth. Start your road to recovery today by turning your teevee off.

    • Jenn at 9:48 pm

      Haha, this is true… yet I remain obsessed? with the show- not the controversy. But you’re totally right! How else do you become relavent without being outrageous or striking some sort of controversy *these days*?!

  33. Patti at 5:47 pm

    It wasn’t his FIRST KISS he said”he’s been kissed hasn’t been in a relationship” I really don’t think he minded *my opinion*

    • Cathy at 10:04 pm

      It was his first kiss, according to him and no he didn’t appreciate it. He is over it after talking with friends as it wasn’t a “real” kiss. Meaning it wasn’t him and a girl he likes in an intimate moment. So he isn’t letting it ruin his life or ideals. I didn’t see this happen but I just read his post kiss interview.

      I agree with Karen, in the future I hope she keeps her lips to herself unless she asks permission. If his happened to my teen son or daughter I’d be pizzed.

  34. Jenn at 9:44 pm

    While I actually agree to some level-a level I didn’t think about before reading this-I also feel like it was the least offensive or perverted thing ever, it was the quickest simplest kiss. And while you are absolutely correct, as a society we should hold everyone and every gender to the same standards, I also often feel like as a society we blow things completely out of proportion. You’re point is valid though. I wonder what this world would be like if the natural fact that men are “generally” more sexually driven beings compared to women were to change… considering the overall rape rate in women vs men… I don’t know, I think our society is a proven product of its exposure/experience. Ultimately, we are what we are because of what we are/what we’ve become… if that makes sense, lol

  35. Openyoureyes at 7:55 am

    She’s f*****g wicked, and they are all pedophiles in Hollywood, so she did exactly what she wanted to. Not like he’s underage or anything but still, theses a devil worshiping wicked mother f*****s that have admitted to selling their soul countless of times. The fact that people still listen to her trashy, agenda ridden music that she gets from the devil himself. Wake your asses up already.

  36. Anastasia at 10:32 am

    How many regular guys can say they kissed katy perry?! It was just a peck! Not tongue not a true first kiss in my opinion. I cant believe someone took their time to write this.. Lol
    Seriously everyone needs to worry about their own lives!;)

  37. Mitchell at 12:48 pm

    Thing is, nothing is aaid if katy parry does it but if luke did, hed have sexual accusations filed against him….. hmmm….. double standard? You sure about that?

  38. Sarah at 10:46 pm

    Complained and than asked for tickets? Hmmm

  39. Scott at 8:55 pm

    Katy Hudson (Perry) is not a “pretty good person” at all. She gave up her Christian faith and said in an interview that she “sold her soul to the devil.” She has turned her back on God and the Bible by supporting homosexuality. What is good about any of that?

  40. Klaus G. at 5:57 am

    Get a life! It’s American Idol, she gets paid for this kind of silly nonsense! It doesn’t portray who she is or what she really does.