So a couple of years ago, something kind of shitty happened. My hubby didn’t do anything on our anniversary. Not like he forgot it. That would have been more forgivable. Like he actually remembered it and said happy anniversary and that was it. And all day I was waiting for something. A card, a surprise babysitter, something, anything.
But by the time we were getting into bed that night, nothing. I was like WTF? I mean I could have said something earlier that day, but then he would have just bolted to the store to pick up a last minute card to fix the mistake, only it wouldn’t have fixed it at all because it doesn’t count if I TELL him to do something. So as we were sitting there in bed, I let him have it.
ME: Wow, you really didn’t do ANYTHING?
HUBBY: Whatta you mean? You said no presents.
ME: No presents doesn’t mean don’t do ANYTHING. You have to at least acknowledge it.
HUBBY: I did acknowledge it. I said Happy Anniversary.
And we had a fight on our anniversary. I wonder how many people have fights on their anniversary.
Anyways, here’s the worst thing about it. Not how I felt that day. How I felt after. It scarred me. And now every time it’s our anniversary or my birthday or Mother’s Day, I get that worried feeling. What if he doesn’t do anything again?
And last week I started to get that pit in my belly. Our tenth anniversary was on Thursday. A biggie. And I felt that same nervous feeling again leading up to it. We said no presents, but would he do something? I kept resisting the urge to remind him. Maybe I should just gently let him know that I was doing something, but no, no, no, that would defeat the purpose. And then Thursday arrived.
When we woke up, nothing. By lunchtime nothing. By mid afternoon I was starting to get annoyed. I mean he knew I was taking him out for a nice dinner and a hotel the next night, plus I surprised him with this HUGE romantic card with lots of pictures from ten years ago when we got married. See?
But so far all I’d gotten was a slightly longer kiss than usual and a “Happy Anniversary.”
HUBBY: Hey, can you stay out of the kitchen?
ME: Can I stay out of the kitchen?!! Hells yeah I can stay out of the kitchen!!!! I mean I kinda want to ask you WHY I need to stay out of the kitchen but nope, not gonna ask a thing. I’m not even gonna tell you to clean up the kitchen when you’re done even though I’m thinking that in my head.
I just went into our bedroom and shut the door and let out a huge amount of air because I had been holding my breath all day. All week. See? Scarred.
And then at about 6:00, I heard the kids running upstairs.
KIDS: Mom!!! MOMMMMMMMM!!!! Come down for dinner!!
And when I walked out of our room I found this. A path of rose petals leading down the stairs and into the kitchen.
And the table was set with plates of homemade shrimp and chicken stir fry and rice and rolls and he’d even uncorked the best bottle of wine we have in our pantry.
And we sat around eating and reminiscing and sharing schmoopy moments to purposely gross the kids out.
And when the kids wouldn’t sit in their seats like they’re supposed to, we didn’t even tell them to sit back down. We had a romantic meal just the two of us.
So this is ten. It hasn’t been perfect, and there have been mistakes along the way. He’s made a few. And I’ve made a few. But in the end, we do our best to fix it when we screw up. They say you’re supposed to give tin or aluminum for your tenth anniversary, but I don’t agree. Because my hubby gave me something much better. He gave me happiness.
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