LOVE IS…

 

Love is…

1. Pulling over to the side of the road even though you’re in a hurry because someone’s Spiderman doll fell on the floor

2. Letting your kiddo spit their chewed gum in your hand because they’re done and there’s not a trashcan around

3. Shaving your legs in the middle of the winter for the ONE person on the entire planet who will see them

4. Quitting your job to stay at home with your kiddos

5. Going to work to earn money for your kiddos

6. Watching your kid watch the movie instead of watching the movie yourself because seeing the look on their face means more to you

8. Reading the same F’ing book out loud 39 nights in a row

9. Knowing someone so well you recognize their toot smell

10. Wearing the most God-awful GIANT earrings you’ve ever seen because your daughter picked them out at the store and thinks they go great with your outfit and you’re like, really am I a hooker?

11. Knowing that your husband likes flour tortillas and not corn when the waitress asks him which kind he wants and he has no F’ing clue

12. Freezing your ass off because you gave someone your hat or coat or gloves because that someone refused to put on theirs before they left the house and now they’re freezing their ass off

13. Standing in a disgusting public bathroom that smells like ass for twenty minutes because someone is taking a lonnnnnng time

14. Giving someone quarters to throw in the fountain because you’re all out of pennies and nickels and dimes

15. Wiping a giant green glob of snot off your kid’s nose with your sleeve or sometimes your finger if you don’t want to mess up your sleeve.

16. Letting someone else hold the remote

17. Cramming your big ass into a little kid’s chair at parent-teacher conferences and not thinking twice about it because all you care about is what the teachers are gonna say

18. Telling your kiddo to drop her pants when she complains that her vajayjay hurts so you can take a close-up look even if you’re a total vagiphobe

19. Stripping down to a bathing suit in the middle of the winter when your leg hairs could literally be French-braided and getting into a pool in front of other people so that your kiddo can go to swim class

20. Sleeping with someone’s elbow in your eye socket

21. Purposely driving where there’s construction and like a shitload of traffic  because someone LOVES all the diggers and dump trucks and backhoes and excavators and cement trucks etc etc etc

22. Knowing the names of all the diggers and dump trucks and backhoes and excavators and cement trucks etc etc etc because you care about the shit your kid cares about even though you don’t really

23. Keeping a totally straight face and not laughing when your kiddo tells you her cells hurt

24. Changing the radio station back to your husband’s favorite one after borrowing his car

25. Giving someone else your meal because they don’t like what they ordered

26. Buying glitter because your kiddo F’ing LOVES it even though you’re gonna find it in every single nook and cranny in your house for the next 20 years

27. Driving to three different supermarkets because he likes fresh salsa and she likes French bread pizza and your hubby  will eat whatever brand of bread you buy but really he prefers the bread they sell at Costco

28. Changing your kid’s big ole poopie diaper

29. Changing your spouse’s big ole poopie diaper one day

30. Sitting in the car for an extra two minutes in the garage because she likes the song that’s on the radio

Love is…

31. Compromising, hugging, giving, taking, painful, healing, small, big, giggling, opening, absolutely amazing

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