Dear Tinkerbell, where the F were you last night

Awwww shit, I kinda F’ed up this morning. So a buncha nights ago Zoey made this picture of Peter Pan and Tinkerbell and then she put it on her nightstand.


I had no idea she actually made them FOR Peter and Tink (no, I’m not on a first name basis with them, I’m just too lazy to type their whole names every time). I mean she does this shit alllllllll all the time but if she doesn’t tell me, I don’t even notice because like I said, she’s done this like 9, 000 times.

Anyways, after a few nights had passed, Zoey looked at me and said that she couldn’t understand why Peter and Tink hadn’t picked up their picture yet. I’m like, uhhhhhh, maybe because if you don’t say this shit out loud, I have no F’ing idea they’re supposed to. So I made up some story about how they had a lot of emergencies to help with because it’s so cold outside, like all the bunny holes were snowed in and Peter and Tink were busy shoveling them out and didn’t have time to pick it up.

She totally bought it (suckkkkaaaa) and then I was gonna take the picture the next night, but DOH, I totally forgot. In my defense, I was very busy that night– sitting on the couch eating Oreos and watching the Bachelor, not to mention the fact that I was very distracted by the fact that the new Bachelor picked some super crazy biatches this time. But I digress.

So this morning when I went in to wake Zoey up and she was sleeping with the blanket over her head, I was like score! Time for a stealth mission. I quietly took the picture out of her room and then went downstairs and wrote out a super fast magic note from Tink on my special green note cards (which I’m about to run out of, eeeeks, but F if I’m buying a whole new rainbow set just to get the green ones again) and a silver Sharpie. It was super messy and but Zoey can’t read yet so whatever. And then I quietly crept into her room (insert Mission Impossible music here) and put it on her nightstand.

photo (7)

ME: (sweetly) Zoey, Zoeyyyy, time to wake up.

And when she looked at her nightstand, I expected her to squeal with delight.

ZOEY: Huh? That wasn’t there a second ago.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit. Apparently she’d already woken up and looked.

ME: Well, she must have come in just now. You’ve seen Tinkerbell in the movie. She’s super fast. She must have flown in really quickly this morning and put it there.

But I could see the look in Zoey’s eyes. The doubtful “I’m starting to question this shit” kinda look. Ruh-roh. What if she stops believing in Tinkerbell? What if she stops leaving her pictures beside her bed? What if she stops waking up in the morning and asking why Tinkerbell was too busy to come last night?

Hmmmm, lemme think about this. Then mayyybe I won’t wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night because I realized I forgot something but can’t remember what. And mayyybe I won’t have to worry about the fact that I’m about to run out of green note cards. And mayyybe I won’t have to come up with stories on the spot about why Tink was too busy to come pick up her one millionth picture last night. I mean yeah, I guess I might miss the magic a little (picture me holding my fingers together a half millimeter apart).

Anyways, I F’ed up. But I didn’t do it on purpose. And mayyybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that I did.

P.S. By the time I wrote this and typed it into my blog to publish, Zoey came in and asked me for the markers and paper so she could draw Tinkerbell another picture. I shit you not.

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There are 8 comments for this article
  1. Kelly Funk at 1:26 pm

    Too funny! My daughter leaves notes for Tinkerbell all the time, too!! “Tink” kept forgetting to reply to her, so I had to let her know Tink was really busy and might not always be able to get back to her right away. The last time she left a note asking for Tink to make her a doll – wtf??

  2. mama to a tink lover 2 at 1:35 pm

    You need zoey to make a shoebox mailbox, put it in the foyer by the front door (because Tink can fit through keyholes). All of zoeys notes to tink go there, instead of her nightstand. Then you have easy access…and a visual reminder.

  3. Ali Mac at 4:32 pm

    This is hysterical, I can picture the whole thing, and I love all the previews to what is to come for Penelope!

  4. Cheryl at 4:52 pm

    The tooth fairy didn’t make it to our house the other night. I woke up to a “No luck.” Comment and sad look on my daughter’s face. She is 7 so I tried my best to recover from my parent fail but she may be catching on.

  5. Liz Beattie at 10:15 pm

    I was the worst The Tooth fairy in our house! Two kids and every single time I forgot. I ended up writing tiny notes saying she had the flu/cold/upset tummy/headache and couldn’t fly….in the end I printed up tiny notes on my computer using the smallest font and added glitter so I had them on hand as I always forgot!! My kids must think the Tooth fairy is really sickly!!

  6. GraKneeToe at 8:59 pm

    This had me cracking up. This is the first post I’ve read…and now…you have yourself a new follower.

  7. Meghan at 10:27 am

    love your blog!!! iam THE worst tooth faerie when my middle daughter lost a tooth she, wrote she wanted a pink teddy bear with a heart on the tummy!!! we had to run out at 10pm and find her a freaking pink bear with a heart on the tummy after 4 stores!!!! we got it.. and even at that I forgot to grab her tooth !….possibly from running around to 4 stores!!! possibly from the fact i didn’t give a s**t anymore , maybe all i cared about that point was Big Brother Canada..I don’t know .. i didn’t really care..we got 25 cents can wait for a stupid bear.. .when she woke up she said “I guess tooth faerie got sick with the stomache flu and forgot !!” yes! kid let’s go with that!!! it has nothing to do with the fact that you asked for a freaking pink bear with a heart on it..!!!!
    .. my kid’s seem to think the tooth faerie looks like the Rock:) and let me tell you if he DOES then I’ll be knocking all my teeth out.!!!