I mean who the hell doesn’t want a drink when they’re preggers?!!!


WAITER: Can I get anyone a drink?

PREGNANT FRIEND: I really want one.

ME: Do it, it’s just one.

PREGNANT FRIEND: I’m always worried what people will think.

ME: Yes, you should definitely be worried about what a bunch of asshole strangers in a restaurant will think about you. Not.


ME: I’ll have a glass of Cabernet, please.


(as soon as she puts the wine to her lips)

ME: (loudly) GASP!!! How can you do that when you are pregnant?!! Tisk tisk.


ME: Careful, the baby can hear you cursing.


P.S. If you like this please don’t forget to “like” it!! And check out the “pictures” section on my blog. I’ll add more over time, you know, when I’m not too busy trying to raise two little rugrats without F’ing them up too much.

There are 51 comments for this article
  1. ghoffer at 11:14 am

    With my first pregnancy I was excited because my doctor said it was ok to have a glass of wine on occasion. Unfortunately, I lost my taste for it, and I never got it back.

  2. AM at 11:17 am

    My midwives say an occasional glass after the 1st trimester is just fine! People need to calm down.

  3. Rachael Z at 11:30 am

    If I couldnt have my glass of red daily I would be WAY worse than I am at 6 months. Hormones are a b***h, wine helps.

  4. Gordana Medved at 11:31 am

    I used to have a glass on occasion too!!
    But it is true you always wonder what people will think. So sad that we are constantly being judged and it starts when you’re pregnant..

    • Swizzle at 5:07 pm

      It’s not necessarily being judged as it is being harmful for your child. Do you want a mentally disabled kid because you couldn’t keep alcohol from your lips for just nine months?

      • Anon at 8:54 pm

        Jesus calm down Swizzle! Yes, all parents who had a sip of wine in pregnancy will have a mentally disabled child. Where did you go to medical school? Thanks deciding what is best for all of our children.

  5. Heather at 11:31 am

    I had a big trip planned in my 2nd trimester, and my (very conservative) doctor said if I promised to stay out of the sun, I could have one cocktail a day. I didn’t end up drinking, but I found it interesting that she was more concerned with overheating than alcohol.

  6. katmageva at 11:34 am

    I’m 32 weeks along, and I have a close friend who’s 8 weeks behind me. She bought me a bottle of Cab Sauv for my birthday, and you better believe we busted that s**t out IMMEDIATELY. Took us each over an hour to finish our 8-ounce glasses…well worth the sweet, slow savoring…

    I’ve also been told it’s good to have a glass to slow down or stop contractions if you’re experiencing those a few weeks early, so I’ll be pickin’ up a bottle of white wine here soon just in case 😉 May even sample it a little sooner rather than later….*twiddle*

  7. Sarah G at 11:46 am

    Nothing tasted sweeter than my morning cup of coffee (after 12 weeks, I couldn’t stand the thought of it before that) and an occasional glass of red wine. And to the B who used to side-eye me in Starbucks each morning, my baby is perfectly healthy.

    • katmageva at 11:55 am

      You got nasty looks for COFFEE?? Wow. I drink decaf only because the caffeine makes me nauseous, even at 32 weeks, so it’s that or nothin’, and I can’t live without muh coffee…

      In summation, people are dumb.

    • enad at 12:57 pm

      yup, when i was pregnant i was pouring myself a cup of coffee once at an office kitchen and someone said “i hope that’s decaf.” it was, but mind your own beezwax!

  8. Em at 11:54 am

    Our parents drank wine and worse and we all (or rather most of us…you know the non-douchy a-holes) turned out just fine.

  9. laznpat at 11:55 am

    I was too scared to have a glass of wine. My mom, and boyfriend even told me to do it. I was just too nervous though. Lol. I have one glass since birth though. Yumm

  10. Lizzie K at 12:17 pm

    I was told by a midwife that a glass of wine and a hot bath would help ease preterm contractions. My sister was given the same advice by her OB because she had high blood pressure.

  11. AB at 12:24 pm

    Had a glass of red around 28 weeks with my first, a couple half glasses with my second, and this time I sipped a little champagne at new years and a little white at Christmas. More tasting than drinking. Now that I’m 19 weeks though, it’s almost time for a little bit more. 😉 I drink coffee almost daily, because I always have, and the headaches are a b***h when I don’t, and I can’t have Excedrin. Havent gotten any judgy looks for the coffee yet, but I’m ready for them. 😀

    • Andi at 4:47 pm

      I’ve heard also withdrawals from things like caffeine can be harmful, so really, who knows. All the s**t our parents did (like driving with us in laundry baskets in the backseat, drinking, smoking…and most of us are fine! Not to mention women who have no idea they’re pregnant for a few months and drink until they find out…

  12. Melissa at 12:30 pm

    I had a glass of wine the night before my scheduled c-section to calm my nerves and my water broke about an hour later. I was crying to my husband that I made my water break. Lol

  13. KyuuketsukiNiko at 1:00 pm

    I had a glass in my third trimester. It was either that or start a killing spree. I was just so over everything. My midwife informed me that it was more than ok. She was more concerned with the stress I was feeling than anything else.

  14. mel at 1:21 pm

    This is my fourth pregnancy – and the most uncomfortable – and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let some a-hole tell me what to drink. I’m probably averaging a drink every two or three weeks at this point, haha!

    • Susan Corbett at 1:05 pm

      Way to show your baby who’s boss. Do you have fetal alcohol syndrome? Serious question.

      • Mel S at 3:55 pm

        Probably just as severely as you do. Serious answer.

  15. jkava at 1:23 pm

    I was invited to four weddings the year I was pregnant…and I was in my third trimester for two of them. I had a glass of red wine at both. No regrets. Haters gonna hate.

  16. Meredith at 1:44 pm

    I had a few glasses of wine during pregnancy, WTF. Interestingly enough though, I pretty much lost my love of coffee. I didn’t have much of a taste for it and now (3 years later), I barely drink 1/2 cup before work in the morning (too d**n busy!) and I’m lucky if I can get through a whole cup on the weekend. I typically have to stop drinking it because it starts to make me feel “off”.

  17. Melissa at 1:59 pm

    During my second trimester I had crazy cravings for beer. I would have one ever few weeks or else I would go crazy. My baby boy came out just fine.

  18. Samantha at 2:19 pm

    I had one drink at New Years and on my birthday with all three kids.

  19. Joy at 2:54 pm

    My Mom was dying with colon/rectal cancer when I was preggers with my second child. My doctor told me to have a glass of wine at bed time: it was less harmful to the baby than high blood pressure and me not sleeping.

  20. Diane Simancek at 3:32 pm

    Yeah, I’m an OLD mom/grandmother. Since I was aged 33 & 38 when I was preggers, I figured that ANYTHING/EVERYTHING I could do to make my pregnancies safer, I would do. I had one or two sips from one glass of wine for the first baby….while we were enjoying our “last trip alone.” Made my husband very nervous….he was very afraid that it would hurt the baby. I decided it just wasn’t worth the risk. I have no regrets. My second daughter gave birth to our 1st grandchild last May; and I was quite surprised at the list of foods she was told to avoid: deli meat, some cheeses….I don’t recall the others. Advice changes for every generation. Funny, when my girls were babies, they told parents to NOT put babies to sleep on their backs, for fear of choking on any spit-up. When I first put them down on their tummies (as we were told to do!), I felt skeptical….it seemed a hazard. So, I followed my “mother’s intuition” and put them down on their backs. No pillows or toys in the bed. Yup, they had their blankets…..they survived just fine. But, if it’s saved the lives of our tiny babes and their are less SIDS deaths, why not follow their advice….. Bottom line, follow your instincts…..

  21. Bitty at 4:41 pm

    I got married right after midnight on new year’s, I had no problem having a glass of champagne being 5 months pregnant.

  22. Leah at 5:51 pm

    Sorry. I absolutely love your blog but I have to disagree with this post. Alcohol and pregnancy don’t mix. I am a foster and adoptive parent and I struggle every single day with the damage that alcohol can do to a child. Contrary to popular belief FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) doesn’t just happen to babies whose parents display alcoholic tendencies. It can be very prevalent in affluent communities due to lack of education. I agree with not judging moms and supporting them in their choices but I’m sorry I cannot condone drinking. I have seen the result. It is not known what amount will not have an effect vs what amount will. No alcohol is best

    • Paula at 2:38 am

      Finally, a voice of reason. Thank you, Leah. I, too, am in favor of a woman’s right to choose. I just hope women make educated choices. FASD is real, and all moms to be should read about it. You do not have to be alcoholic to potentially damage your baby. For nine months, it is not about what we want, but what is best for the child we are incubating.

      • Paula at 2:41 am

        I should also mention I am a clinical neuropsychologist. I have tested many adolescents and adults with fetal alcohol syndrome and fetal alcohol effects (look them up, ladies). Executive functioning deficits and intellectual disability are common. Please, do not drink while you are pregnant! The “I did, so everyone else can, too” argument is not valid.

        • Andi at 4:50 pm

          And…there are also kids who are born with birth defects or kids who get horrible illnesses and the mother did everything right. You also have a biased view. You probably see the effects more than not, so in your mind it’s more prevalent.

          • aprovencal at 7:35 pm

            How is your argument relevant, Andi? Whether Paula sees the effects more or not, she sees them. And she sees them because mother’s drank while pregnant, not because they didn’t. Yes, mothers can do everything right and have babies with birth defects or other issues, so what? That has nothing to do with the effects alcohol CAN have on a baby. New studies show the effects may not be immediate, but may show later on in the child’s life. It is completely selfish for a mother to drink while pregnant and completely unnecessary. Prevalent or not, does it matter? Why would a mother take that risk? I don’t get it.

  23. Pingback: Is one drink worth the risk? Don't Risk FASD - The Neighborhood Moms | The Neighborhood Moms
  24. JoAnn at 6:46 pm

    My girlfriend and I were both about 8 months preggers when we went to lunch and had a glass of wine. We are both 60 now and our children are just fine, brilliant even!

  25. Teri at 7:46 pm

    And the grandmum chimes in here with something else to make them gasp (sorry Leah). For nursing mums, a beer will help your milk come in. It was especially helpful for me (eons ago) and it seemed that my milk was not coming in (my first child), and my grandmother told me to have a beer, sit down and relax. Worked like a charm. And all of my children that were given beer-laced breast milk survived and thrived. Of course, I did almost choke them when that milk came chugging out!

  26. Trudi Verrico at 8:08 pm

    I drank with both my older children(21 and 19) and they are both absolutely fine. So long as you don’t drink 5 or 6 cans at a time it really shouldn’t hurt them

  27. Shelley at 8:53 pm

    I love you,and your blog and think you’re awesome. I usually agree with you! I do, however disagree on this. I have been working with adults who have disabilities for 26 years and have a Master’s in Special Education. I have worked with many people who suffer from the effects of fetal alcohol syndrome. I have also known people (family included) who don’t necessarily suffer from developmental disabilities but suffer from the effects of fetal alcohol syndrome in other ways (emotional difficulties, oppositional behavior, general processing issues) you know that person who just makes stupid choices all the time and never seems to get their s**t together but is really intelligent so no one can quite put their finger on the problem? Usually this is a result of fetal alcohol syndrome. All the literature I’ve read and trainings I’ve taken on fetal alcohol syndrome have told me that nothing is safe. You just never know. Not a poopy troll, or judging, just chiming in.

  28. Pam B at 10:06 pm

    I have 5 kids and drank red wine with everyone one of them. I would sip on that one glass savoring every drop, waiting patiently for the next day or so when I could have another! Luckily I never got any dirty looks out in public.

  29. Kay at 11:11 am

    That far along it’s not going to hurt. My kid probably had half a glass or two each week for the final 8 weeks and he came out fine! I’m SO glad you posted this! Let’s promise to only judge people who smoke during their pregnancy!

  30. dvp at 2:49 pm

    I have a son (adopted) with FASD – Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. Every second with alcohol in the fetus’ system damages some part of physical/mental development. You just never know. But I don’t judge a glass or two during the final couple of months of pregnancy.

  31. korie at 11:08 pm

    My doctor, while I was pregnant with twins: “You could have a glass of wine a day and be fine…would I technically recommend it, given society today….NO. But, you do it if you want…” I didn’t want. My waitress, at my birthday dinner, while I’m 8 months pregnant: “Can I get you a drink (does a double take, after I say no) OH! I wouldn’t get you anything even if you said yes!” Funny…you have no jurisdiction over my pregnancy…

  32. peeps at 12:07 am

    This makes me laugh! I went to a ‘garden party’ that my sister had. The guise was to come dressed as if going to an old fashioned, 1950’s garden party.I happened to work at a maternity store. So, for fun I bought a maternity sun dress and used an old “belly” from the store. The belly making me appear to be 6 months pregnant.
    At some point the entire party decided it would be a good idea to go to the bar 2 blocks down. (Small Town USA) In the amount of time we were there I had 4 shots of Tequila and was smoking like a chimney (I don’t do either of these anymore). Not one person said anything nor looked at me sideways! I should mention that these people had not seen me in over 10 years. So it’s not like they knew me at all. So compared to my shots of tequila, one glass of wine is nothing! Hahahahahaha!
    A couple of months later I had a woman come up to me to find out if I had a girl or a boy. I kid you not.

  33. Julie at 9:12 am

    I trust the American Academy of Pediatrics more than anecdotal evidence. I don’t need a drink enough to risk harming my baby.

    From aap.org: FASDs are 100% preventable. The only sure way to prevent FASDs is to completely avoid alcohol use while pregnant. …There is no safe amount of alcohol when a woman is pregnant. Research evidence indicates that even drinking small amounts of alcohol while pregnant can lead to miscarriage, stillbirth, prematurity and sudden infant death syndrome.

  34. hopeinfreefall at 11:00 am

    This ended up being much longer than I expected. The TL;DR version is: current research on FASD & similar pregnancy related issues is often based on a) self-reporting by women & b) “better safe than sorry because we don’t know for sure” research modalities. The best choice is to go with your own instinct & -your- medical team’s advice, & tell everyone else to b**t right the heck out. Also, history plus current infant mortality rates in the US make me very skeptical on this issue.

    Yeah, no, sorry. For every one on the, “even one drink can harm your baby” train, I have to respect the combined years of experience of OBGYN, L&D nurses, and other professionals I’ve spoken to and read about over current APA recommendations & nervous nellies. Having read information years ago that the current APA research is based on “being overly cautious because ‘we just don’t know'” I’m skeptical of their claims. Factor in that historically, people were often drinking more than a glass or two of wine every few days, and my skepticism increases.

    No one is saying go get plastered on tequila. A glass or two of wine or a beer or cider are highly unlikely to cause FASD. When the advice is given to help the pregnant mum relax or sleep better, it makes even more sense. There is even less juried research on most of our modern medicines on pregnant women (with good reason) than on small amounts of alcohol. Stress & high BP are definitely much worse.

    Personally, I feel it should be a decision between a woman & her medical team like any other decision made while pregnant. The circumstances could be different for each individual, & the medical staff would be likely to either know that or help figure it out.

    Finally, to the person who brought up the fact that class distinction means little in terms of FASD, I have to wonder how familiar they are with rates of alcoholism both hidden & not in the upper classes. It’s not something I’ve researched since my college psych class, but even 15 years ago, those rates could be just as high if not higher than lower classes.

    I absolutely am not arguing that FASD isn’t a serious problem, because I believe it is. What I don’t believe is that one glass or a few glasses spread across a pregnancy are the likely culprits for FASD, especially when a lot of the research of things like FASD are based on self-reporting which is not even close to the most reliable method of research. And frankly, if certain narcotics are safe during pregnancy (which some are), then I become even more skeptical that a little bit of wine or beer is going to be that large of a problem.

    Oh, & to both be more scandalous & to make this comment even more absurdly long, nursing Mamas should look into newer research about the 24 hour pump & dump advice. Apparently, that too is based on being extra cautious, & is more accurately based on the individual woman’s metabolism plus the way the alcohol actually breaks down into breast milk. The simple version is: those breast milk pH strips are actually useful.

    (The hilarious [read: not so hilarious] thing about all of this is that sine of those symptoms that have been mentioned as FASD as though it were the only thing that could cause them? Yeah, my daughter has several of them & I never drank while I was pregnant because I loathe beer & wine. Know why she has them? A 2cm x 1.5cm cyst in her brain that’s been causing partial-complex seizures for at least the last 6 years. Know when we found out about it? Last June. Partial-complex seizures don’t look like “regular” seizures at all; you have to know exactly what to look for. So, yeah, pardon me if I absolutely think that some of the “these things are FASD symptoms” might not be based on “we need to blame it on something & the mother is as good a source as any”, particularly given the current climate in the media and even in some degrees in the medical establishment to blame a lot of things on women. And seriously, given that there was a long period in history where beer & wine were safer for -everyone- to drink including pregnant women & children than water was, I have to wonder how the hell civilization made it this far if alcohol is such a huge problem in pregnancy. [Yes, as a history nerd, I know this makes light of a lot of other factors & obviously the infant mortality rate was much higher then, though I’d say researching the same stat for the US today compared to other developed countries would be an eye opener for many of you, and there are a lot of factors to consider then & now, but it is -always- the first thing that comes to mind when I see the whole “zomg all booze bad” arguments.]

    For reference, this article breaks it down with an easy chat by wealthy nations, & then discusses individual states in the text. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2014/09/29/our-infant-mortality-rate-is-a-national-embarrassment/ The CDC also lists the current rate at 6 per 1000 live births. The IMR has actually INCREASED since the last time the CIA World Factbook & the UN put the info together.

  35. aprovencal at 10:50 am

    I’m sorry, but I just don’t see the point nor the need to drink any alcohol during pregnancy. It seems like common sense to me. Don’t you avoid doing other things, like riding a bike or eating lunch meat, in an effort to give your unborn baby a fighting chance at a healthy life? I never have and never will understand those who justify having even one glass of wine. Really… what’s the point? And alcohol to slow down contractions?!? Does that even make sense? You body knows what to do, contractions and all, why mess with that?

  36. sped teacher at 9:35 pm

    If you ever have the need to drink while pregnant, feel free to visit a special education classroom with students who are unable to learn with their same-aged peers due to cognitive, behavioral, and attention challenges due to exposure to alcohol (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). I’m pregnant with my second child and would love to enjoy a cocktail or glass of wine. I would NEVER drink. FASD is 100% preventable and avoidable. I don’t NEED alcohol, but I do want to do everything I can to prevent an avoidable disability to my child.

    The students I work with that have been diagnosed with FASD did not ask for the challenges they have. They did not ask for a lifelong impairment that could disable them from having the life they deserve. I’m truly not trying to judge anyone’s decisions, but from the perspective of someone who works tirelessly with children who have FASD, alcohol in any amount is NOT worth it!