I just got my kiddo’s school pictures back and all I can say is WTF

Yayyyy, school pictures are in!!! SCHOOL PICTURES ARE IN!!! I mean uhhhh, yeah, I’m cool. I’ll just calmly walk to my car and open them in the front seat where no one can see my reaction.

I don’t know WHAT it is about school pictures that makes me so excited. I take like 9,000 better pictures of Holden every day on my phone, and they’re wayyy cuter than the totally lame-o picture of him sitting in front of a random blue background. See?

SchoolPicPostheadbandSchoolPicPostDentistSchoolPicPostCheese

Helllllllo, way funnier and better than the school one.

But for some reason there’s something I can’t put my finger on about school pictures that makes me soooooo excited when they come out. I feel all nostalgic about them and they remind me of pictures I took when I was a kid. And there’s something amazing about how they really haven’t changed since back then. Same blotchy blue background, same shot from the chest up, same weird guy standing behind the camera saying “say cheese.” And pardon me for a moment while I sound totally dorky, but this is Holden’s first school picture so it’s extra exciting.

So after the teacher hands me the package I get into my car and reach into the envelope to pull out the picture.

HoldenSchoolPictureSingle

Awwwwwww. I mean I wish I got him a haircut beforehand because it’s kinda growing over his ears, but hey, I’m lucky I remembered that morning to dress him in something decent. Actually I didn’t remember at first and he had a shit fit when I said, “Nope, buddy, I forgot it’s school picture day so you have to take off that ugly-ass Thomas the Train shirt and put on this stiff button-down.” But hey, looking at that super sweet photo of my handsome little man makes that screaming tantrum all worth it.

And then I pulled out the group shot. Where is he? Where is he? Scanning the picture to find him. Ummm, wait, is that him? Holy shit, I’m at a loss for words.

HoldenSchoolPictureBetter2 copy

Yes, apparently Holden was the only kid in class who knew it was Pirate Day. Arrrrggg, shiver me timbers, Holden. WTF? If this isn’t a framer, I don’t know what is.

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There are 25 comments for this article
  1. Jen at 10:59 am

    In my son’s school picture he is on the ground under the chair… My favorite thus far! It’s like playing Where’s Waldo with your kid!!!

  2. Danielle at 11:23 am

    My daughter’s class picture last year was A WTF moment but not about her. There was this poor kid in the front row standing there with wet pants. This kid pissed himself and no one noticed! I called the school and they edited the picture and resent it but you know that will come back to haunt him one day.

  3. Christin Harding at 11:25 am

    LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVE this! hahahaha!! I used to do portraiture, and while the ‘low man on the totem’ I had to do school pics. I always looked for the kid who did this sort of thing-ya gotta admire it! (reminds me of Calvin) (of Calvin and Hobbes)

  4. Christi at 11:25 am

    Yeah, getting a ‘perfect’ picture is always nice, but the ones that make you laugh even years later are much better! Our lives/kids/houses/our appearances aren’t perfect so our pictures should capture that. No one likes the person that always posts the beautiful pics all the time!

  5. Heather at 11:25 am

    Love it!!!! That class picture is THE BEST!!! And I agree 100%!!! The excitement to open your kids picture…..and then the disappointment at how much they suck!!! My daughter had frankensmile this year. Freaking picture looks nothing like her, but she was over the moon proud of it so what do you do? Shatter her and say you don’t like it, retake it? Instead, frankensmile stays. Ugh!!!

  6. Elizabeth McKee at 11:30 am

    Ah yes, I too was the pirate on the back row a few years in elementary school. They’d caught me mid sneeze. Best pictures ever!

  7. tessamartinuk at 11:31 am

    The school photos here are sooo expensive, as in a single photo costs over $20. For 1 picture, but you just have to buy them, and send them out to Grandparents, Aunts, uncles etc. l even brought the one where, for who knows what reason, all the kids looked orange….orange as in NEON ORANGE. There was no mistaking it, they all looked like they had been dipped in Orange dye, like an oompa loompa. I admit nobody got a copy of THAT picture.

  8. Jennifer at 11:48 am

    Thanks so much for the laugh this morning. He’s a cutie and I think he’s the coolest looking kid in that group picture (I don’t care if I can’t see their faces, I’m still sure of it). 🙂

  9. Kay at 11:52 am

    Love this! I could never remember to dress the kids for picture day. The middle kid wore the same shirt three years in a row. And yeah, everyone noticed. lol

  10. Denise Michaud at 12:05 pm

    That’s so funny…but also kind of sad! The photographers couldn’t spare 45 seconds for a quick head-swap to make sure they had one good group shot for which each parent is forced to pay $22.95..? Lame. On the other hand….aaarrrrgh, and a hilarious blog post, so there’s that.

  11. Becky McKinney at 3:15 pm

    This will be a great addition to Holden’s wedding video someday! (Speaking as someone who has created a few wedding videos in her time!)

  12. Jill at 7:46 pm

    Can you please host a “best school pic ever” contest? Because either my daughter’s kindergarten or 1st grade pic would win. Hands down.

  13. Joelle Campbell at 9:54 pm

    Super cute class pic of your son! However, I’m more taken with the 3 teachers/aides to 13 kids class ratio. Where is this heavenly school with such minuscule class sizes??

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