I want to pummel nannies who do this


Dear nanny talking on your cell phone,

Okay, so last Tuesday I took my kiddos to the Children’s Museum and I saw you three times that day. The first time was on our way there when I pulled up next to you at a traffic light. There you were yapping on your cell phone in the car. Now I’ll admit, there have been times that I’ve talked on my phone in the car and I know it’s the wrong thing to do, but hey, it’s not something I do every day. Or when my kids are in the car. Or EVER EVER EVER when someone else’s kid is in my car. Nevvvvvver. No phone call is worth it. But here you were yapping away with someone else’s most prized possession sitting in the backseat.

Then I pulled up to the museum and there you were again, yapping on your cell phone while you got the kiddo out of the car. I mean I was glad to see you got here accident-free and you were both safe and sound and alive but seriously, get off your stupid phone call.

And then as I walked around the museum with my rugrats all morning, I saw you in like every room with the kiddo you’re supposed to be watching, but you were still on that oh so important call. I was secretly happy when you followed the kiddo into the music room where all the little ones were playing the drums really loudly because I was sure that would make it hard for you to hear your phone call. But nope, you just turned up the volume.

And then there was a moment that I started to feel like an a-hole. Maybe someone died in your family. Maybe your depressed friend desperately needed to talk to someone. Maybe your mom called you for the first time in years. Maybe you don’t usually ignore the kiddo you’re supposed to watch. Based on the way you were all chatty and laughing and flirty like you were talking to your boyfriend, I don’t think so, but maybe.

Then today, two weeks later, I took my kiddos to the museum again. Not a Tuesday this time. Today was a Wednesday. And there you were again doing EXACTLY the same thing. Yapping away on your phone while you casually followed the toddler wherever he decided to go.

Yeah, I know, technically you were watching the kid. But your job as a nanny is not to just follow the kid around and make sure he doesn’t die. Kids need interaction, they need nurturing, they need love, they need someone to lead them and talk to them and make suggestions, etc etc etc. No, they don’t need this to live. They need this to thrive. 

And I’m pretty sure you’re not being paid just to make sure this little kiddo doesn’t die. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be doing more than that. Don’t get me wrong, I know nannies need a break sometimes. The same way parents need a break sometimes. But I saw you over a span of two hours on two different days and you were on your cell phone the entire time. That is not a break. That is neglect.

I’m pretty pissed at myself for not saying anything. I totally wanted to. I wanted to interrupt your call and tell you to hang up the phone and BE WITH that sweet kiddo for a little while. I wanted to ask you for the mother’s name and number and call her and tell her what I saw. But I didn’t get up enough courage to. Plus, I sat there wondering whether it was my business anyway. I mean what if you weren’t even the nanny? What if you were this kid’s aunt or cousin or even the kid’s mother? I don’t think so but anything is possible.

And besides, I see nannies like you all the time. At the park, at the library, at the pool, all over the place yapping away ignoring the kids they’re supposed to be hanging out with. What am I going to do, scold all of you and tell you all to hang up your stupid phones? It’s not my business, but man does it piss me off to no end.

You are not being paid to watch a child. You are being paid to help raise a child. Get off your stupid phone and do your job.


The lady who was throwing peripheral eye daggers at you while she was paying attention to her own kids

If you enjoy reading this blog, please don’t forget to subscribe so you won’t miss it!! I promise not to send you a lot of shit. It’s just so we can stay connected.

There are 63 comments for this article
  1. Lan at 9:41 am

    I see moms at the park on their cell..leaving their kid to play alone. It’s really sad.. I do all my calls during kids nap time

    • BeaSJ at 6:30 pm

      I’m on the phone mostly at the park when my kids are on playground, and that’s why, I work from home ( or park at that matter 😉 I simply need to manage few things, make those calls and even sometimes just chat with my friends, I figured that’s good time to do it when my kids are having fun, can play and socialize with other kids. Of course I could sit with laptop on my sofa drinking coffee and have my kid watching tv when I simply have to work this few hours… But when we are at home I have whole time in the world just for them!

    • Rebecca at 10:26 am

      I go to the park to have the opportunity to make a phone call or write a letter or send a few emails without getting interrupted every two seconds. This is not neglect and there’s no reason for you to be sad. You aren’t seeing the same mom on the phone everytime you go to the park. You don’t know if she’s on her phone at home or detonating her time fully to them at home. This is what I call being judgy. I totally agree that if I hired a nanny she shouldn’t be on the phone for that long. And if I had other children directly under my care I wouldn’t be on the phone. But I do it at times with my children because I need to check a few things off my list without having losing my mind.

      • Rebecca at 10:33 am

        That was supposed to be dedicating, not detonating. I hope no one is detonating anyone

  2. melissa at 10:02 am

    What about the organized mommy groups who get together at the park and sit together in their prestigious clans, chatting away amongst themselves, ignoring their kids. Kinda the same thing. Maybe the ones on the phone are the outcasts of the mom gangs and need to vent to someone too?

    • Bev at 12:01 pm

      YES!! I see this ALL the time. The moms yapping away, while the kids are ignored. If you wanted a moms group, then find one that does mom things without the kids. If you want a PLAY group, get in there and play with the kids.

      • Mandy at 2:24 pm

        Isn’t the point of play groups for the kids to interact and play with other kids? The moms chat while the kids play. I don’t understand what is wrong with this. The kids are not being IGNORED–they are playing.

        • Corina at 4:08 pm

          Exactly. Kids are having fun. Moms are enjoying talking to adults. You don’t need your a*s up your kids but every second.

        • Carrie at 6:07 pm

          Amen. Kids go to the park to play with other kids. Parents don’t need to be up their kids butts every second of every day.

          • Brian L. at 4:02 pm

            The park is one thing, but I have seen this at our local library all the time and occasionally groups of parents do need to check on what their kids are doing. There will be two-four moms/dads/caregivers chatting away while the kids are destroying the toddler play area. My son and I go in and we have to clean up before we can actually use anything. The toys are removed from the rooms they belong in while the kids are tearing around the building.

      • Alison at 6:13 am

        Oh for heaven’s sake. Thirty years ago this was NORMAL parenting behaviour. Now it’s considered ripe for judgment? If those moms are sitting there getting high and neglecting their kids, that’s one thing, but engaging in adult conversation while children play is GOOD FOR CHILDREN. It teaches them appropriate boundaries and allows them freedom which is SO important. Kids need space to interact without helicopter mommy interrupting every 10 seconds. Let’s all get an effing hobby and stop judging perfectly normal parenting.

  3. Life With Teens and Other Wild Things at 10:07 am

    I quite often made calls while my kids were distracted and playing for five minutes at the park, but I totally agree- if you’re being paid as a Nanny, you do your freaking job. You have plenty of after-hours time to make calls- just like anyone else who works full time. Sure, a call here and there during working hours, working folks do it too, but if you’re being paid to do a job, it’s not ok to waste the time someone’s paying you for on frivolous calls that last hours.

    It’s very different to be a Mom who’s with the kids 24/7 and a nanny who’s on a regular schedule and gets evenings and days off.

  4. Jessie at 10:08 am

    I’m a nanny and I am very often infuriated by other nannies I see while I take my kiddos out. One was being so negligent she didn’t care/notice that her three year old (who we see all the time at the park and she never plays with) took OUR wagon and was walking towards the parking lot/street! I had to run after the little boy (and leave my own toddlers) to make sure he wasn’t hit by a car while the nanny sat idly by on her phone.
    That was a day I strongly reprimanded her and asked which family she worked for.
    These people give nannies a bad name and I’m sick of it. I love my kids and I love what I do. I can’t imagine NOT being 100% when you’re caring for other peoples children.

  5. Tara at 10:12 am

    Irks me to no end. I used to attend an interactive toddler music class, and, much to my own kid’s displeasure, I always end up with an extra kiddo on my lap or holding my hand thanks to the nanny gabfest club. I wanted so badly to call the parents but didn’t want to intrude. And I’m not a saint. Yes, I check FB while my kiddo plays in her sandbox. Yes, I’ll text a fellow WAHM while kiddo engages in her daily 30-minute Umizoomi trance. But when when we’re out and about, it’s all eyes, ears and words focused on kiddo.

    • Tab at 4:03 am

      Omg exactly. When you’re out with your children, I think they deserve your full attention. Especially, if you’re being paid to do so.

  6. Virginia at 10:14 am

    You can’t possibly know if she was the nanny or the mother or a relative. Some people think I’m my daughter’s nanny because I’m latina and she is as blonde as they come. But that’s besides the point. Whomever she was she was neglecting AND endangering that kid.

  7. Christi at 10:16 am

    I completely agree. When I had a nanny, we had a contract w/ her that specifically stated that using the phone in the car was grounds for immediate termination. And sometimes I would call when she was in the car just to test her. Mean, I know, but it was a VERY important thing to me and to ensure she was being compliant.

  8. Amy R at 10:18 am

    Complained to the manager of my gym recently about the child watch girls texting while they are supposed to be watching my kids:/
    Not cool!

  9. thevoltz2000 at 10:23 am

    I remember hearing a story of a child that drowned in a pool and the excuse of the caretaker was they had been on their phone for “just a minute” when the incident occurred. Surveillance video showed that the caretaker was on the phone for NINE MINUTES while the child was in the pool. You are not as aware of your time on the phone/internet as you think. “Just a minute” often equates to much longer than that. When texting in the car, a glance down to read/respond can equal your eyes off the road for the length of a football field.
    I am just as guilty as the next person of being on my phone too much and I have been making a conscious effort to put it away when I am out with my kids. And NEVER to I text and drive.
    Perhaps a simple; “it seems you are really busy, would you like me to watch your kid while you take that call? I am happy to do so for a bit until you are free.” Of course, you may be met with a “my kid is fine” response, but then at least they know they’ve been noticed.

    • Tara at 11:00 am

      Oooh, good line, thevoltz2000! I’ll have to try that one.

  10. greenapples at 11:14 am

    Nannies……….hmm, sure wish I could afford one. Oh wait, I DON’T….I actually prefer to raise my own child. And I work full time, so my retired FIL watches my daughter when she’s not in school (he watched her full time before she started school), and my self-employed full time (actually, more like 70 hours a week) husband helps out as the go-between until I get home at night. Cause it takes a village and that’s what families do and if you hire ‘some girl’ to raise your child, you get what you get.

    ps. Do you happen to have any Grey Poupon?

    • janan at 11:47 am

      Yeah i guess that’s nice if you have family around. Not everyone is so lucky as you are to have available family members nearby. I for one have no choice but to hire a nanny to look after my kids while I’m at work. Please try not to sound so condescending. It’s extremely rude and ignorant.

      • Janan at 12:14 pm

        way off topic, but your name caught my eye since i don’t see many Janan’s 🙂

      • greenapples at 3:24 pm

        Janan, chill. If you’re one of the few who don’t use Grey Poupon, good for you. But for us regular folk around here, we call it ‘daycare’. 😉

        • Momof6 at 10:22 pm

          Seriously green apples? So you raise your own kids yourself? Oh except when your FIL is doing it. How is that any different? Not everyone has family near by that can help nor is it the responsibility of family to do so either. I’d much rather have a nanny than put my kids in daycare too. Oftentimes the cost is the same & if you have more than one child, it’s cheaper AND it’s one on one care vs 50 other germ breeding kids. Get off your high horse.

        • momtroversial at 10:52 pm

          I am a career nanny. I work and interact with my care kids. I specialize in large families. The cost per month for my current employer (A single mom) to put her kids in daycare? $3895 per month. Nannies, when they are not assholes like the one she talks about here, are part of the family. We are basically being paid to be a second mom to these kids. In many cases the families have 2 working parents. out of necessity. I make every decision about the way these kids are raised alongside my employer. Your attitude is unnerving.

      • Sarah at 10:55 am

        As someone who nannies and who has a friend who nannies in Chicago. Sometimes, a nanny is cheaper than daycare and more flexible in the hours. Plus, if you have a good nanny, it’s one-on-one care which can get very expensive at daycare. Also, for families with many children, one nanny for the whole family is cheaper than daycare for each child.

        The families I work for do not have family nearby and like hiring me because I have preschool teaching experience and plan out “lessons” and “adventures” for each day I’m there.

        Not everyone is lucky to have family around and find that a nanny is worth the same as daycare because of the value.

    • Lisa Arb at 12:31 pm

      You are very fortunate to have family close by to help you out. I am a military wife and I do not have that luxury. I have no family close by and my husband goes to sea for weeks to months at a time. Please try to remember not all women are as fortunate as you to have family close by to help them and hired help can be a necessity.

    • Kristen at 10:44 pm

      I know Im adding a comment way past date, but I just wanted to add something. It doesnt even matter if family is near by. Some families prefer to also give their family members a break. Maybe have a younger person to run around with their children. And just because someone hires a nanny does not make them rich. And no those people who dont use “grey poupon” do not call it daycare. They still call it hiring a nanny. You are away from your kid just as much as some who hire a nanny. You worked full time. I was a nanny for a family who only used me 2 days a week. How was a I raising their children more than them? I sure hope all of these comments have opened your eyes a bit to the real world. Just because someone does something different than you does not make them super rich, unloving, distant parents. Everyone parents different. No matter what parenting book they may follow as closely as their bible. Every child is different, and therefore requires different care.

    • Marge at 2:35 am

      Not everyone has the luxury of having “a villiage.” Many parents do not have a support network of close family members and need to work to support their children.

  11. Mommydearest at 11:17 am

    Loved this. So true. When I was a “stay-at-home-mom”, I took my toddler son to the park every day in the jogging stroller and played with him. I befriended many nannies that asked me why I wasn’t working. “Um, because I want to actually interact with my only child?”. Apparently that made me a freak of nature. And yes, I saw too-many-times-to-count nannies yapping away on their phones while the kiddos they were hired to watch fell on their faces, ate sand, ate gum off the ground, wander off unattended towards the creek and numerous other horrifics that made me so glad I was raising my only child and not hiring a nanny to do it. Kudos to your eye daggers! Love your thoughts and adventures in mommyhood, keep ’em coming.

    • Angela at 9:09 am

      i actually want to interact with my only child too…but i have bills to pay and don’t have the luxury of staying home. for you to suggest that if i work it’s because i don’t want to raise my child is kind of insulting.

      • Alison at 6:18 am

        Working parents are still full-time parents. They raise their children just as much as any stay at home parent does. Each choice is fine and neither is better than the other. But we should all recognize that having the choice is a privilege. Many many parents do not have that choice, and should not be judged for it.

  12. MollyPop at 12:38 pm

    This is so scary. Hubby and I do not have children yet but it’s so stressful to see people ignoring their children. There’s a nanny around the corner in our neighborhood that watches probably 9 kids at a time with her elderly mother at home. Probably twice a week I come around the corner to go back to work from lunch and there are 2-3 kids under three riding on trikes or running IN THE STREET!!!! And where is the nanny? Sitting on the grass facing away, entertaining the three infants she is watching. Her mother is at least 75+ and she just stares at the kids playing in the street with dead eyes and no reaction when cars almost hit them. I’ve approached the nanny several times and she just blubblers and apologizes. I understand you need to make a living but it’s not worth taking on too many children and accidently getting one of them seriously injured or killed!!!

  13. Carolyn Haire at 1:22 pm

    What a coincidence…I want to pummel mothers who make assumptions about others and who make generalizations about a whole group of people based on what a few of them do wrong!
    I’m simply amazed at how many perfect mothers there are who hover over their children and NEVER take their eyes off of them…yet somehow find the time to judge the way nannies interact with their charges! Amazing!

    Baby Sideburns…I used to be a big fan of yours and even supported your kickstarter campaign for your book. But this nanny is no longer a fan!

    • Carolyn Haire at 5:15 pm

      Yes, she did hit a nerve actually. If this supposed nanny had been hovering over her charge, then I guarantee you that she’d have written an article about how nannies need to chill and let kids be kids and explore and play on their own. Nannies can’t do anything right…we’re criticized if we’re too hands on, criticized if we’re too hands off, criticized for every little thing…mostly by nosy moms who then go blog about it. The blog post then gets shared all over Facebook and the comments are filled with people bashing nannies for what they saw ONE nanny do ONCE. Try to find a positive blog post or article about nannies that was not written by a nanny or a company like Care. It’ll be pretty hard to find one because it’s not interesting to read/write about what a good job the majority of nannies are doing. Nope, better to write about one nanny who was unprofessional and then just lump all nannies into the same category.

    • Wayne at 5:57 pm

      Sorry, the above post wasn’t making a generalization about a whole group of people, it was addressed to the individual nanny (and mentioned that it was possible that the woman wasn’t a nanny), so your reaction is a bit off.w

  14. Colleen at 1:37 pm

    Its awful about the whole nanny on the phone thing. I see it everywhere. But, Parents and Nannies don’t need to helicopter kids during playtime.

  15. wendyknits at 2:10 pm

    I’m a nanny. I will occasionally answer a call or a text when I’m working, but NEVER when I’m driving my charges around. And I would not camp out on the phone. I answer, deal with the business of the call, and hang up. You are absolutely right about wanting to pummel anyone who is supposed to be paying attention to a child but is yapping on their phone. I’d want to pummel them too.
    But being a nanny is my career, not just a summer job or a way to make a few bucks. I’m very good at what I do and the people I work with say they’re grateful to have me and they tend to keep me until the children grow old enough that they don’t need me anymore. I wish everyone who decided to be a nanny did it for the right reasons and actually engaged with the children. Grrr.
    This nanny agrees with you 100%. A nanny has no business chatting away on the phone when on duty.

  16. nannydeb at 2:22 pm

    Maybe what we should do is make any woman who is out and about with kids wear a sign declaring “I am Mommy”, or “I am Gramma” or “I am Nanny” so that when people make snarky judgements about entire groups of people they don’t have any reason to toss in an “Oh, but maybe it was…”.

    Too many prople spend too much time on their phones. True.

    NANNIES are the only females who have kids with them who spend too much time on their phones. Utterly false and utterly unprovable.

    I like to verbally pummel people who make ridiculous leaps and assume an entire group of people suck. Thanks for the opportunity!

  17. Monique at 3:29 pm

    Well I was a fan of yours but not anymore. You have no idea who this women was, the mom, the nanny, a family friend. I have been a nanny for over 15 years and know many others and we do not spend all our time on the phone. Don’t generalize and give nannies a bad name.

  18. Carolyn Haire at 5:13 pm

    Yes, she did hit a nerve actually. If this supposed nanny had been hovering over her charge, then I guarantee you that she’d have written an article about how nannies need to chill and let kids be kids and explore and play on their own. Nannies can’t do anything right…we’re criticized if we’re too hands on, criticized if we’re too hands off, criticized for every little thing…mostly by nosy moms who then go blog about it. The blog post then gets shared all over Facebook and the comments are filled with people bashing nannies for what they saw ONE nanny do ONCE. Try to find a positive blog post or article about nannies that was not written by a nanny or a company like Care. It’ll be pretty hard to find one because it’s not interesting to read/write about what a good job the majority of nannies are doing. Nope, better to write about one nanny who was unprofessional and then just lump all nannies into the same category.

  19. Becca at 7:07 pm

    BS….I usually LOVE your snarky take on things, but this was a little much. I agree if you’re being paid to watch kiddos than you should be doing just that. However….there are just as many parents doing the same d**n thing with their own children, or worse. Not one of your best posts by far.

    I’m a SAHM/military wife that is guilty of what you’re blasting this nanny for. (As I’m sure many others are, but just won’t admit it)

  20. Cameron Meginnis Kane at 11:16 pm

    Nannies, dog walkers, gardeners, contractors, teachers, parents, joggers pushing bumpy carriages, couples in restaurants, people grocery shopping and
    Many many family members at home. It’s a dangerous, selfish, disgrace.

  21. hannah at 12:43 am

    Sorry devils advocate/ex nanny/ newish mommy here…. The nanny talking the whole time on two separate occasions yes that’s excessive (especially in the car!) However, I’m more of let’s the kids be kids and interact with each other than needing a parent/nanny hovering constantly as long as they are safe and contained I really don’t see the harm in it.

  22. Tab at 3:57 am

    She’s not talking about every nanny out there. But I agree, if you are being paid to help care for this child then all your attention needs be on the child. And I personally think it’s tacky to have long personal conversations on the phone while in public. And that’s mothers, nannies, etc. And I would think the same thing if I saw a women with a child and she was just watching him while yapping away. No I’m not a perfect mother but if Im going take my children out, then they deserve my full attention. And I think the ones getting so b**t sore over this is because maybe yall are guilty of ignoring your own kids. It’s different when you’re atnhome in your house but like I said if I take my children out to play, or something fun they have my attention. I’m not saying emergencies never happen cause they do but I’m not going sit and talk about the party I went to the night before with my bff, etc… While my kid is wanting to show me something. Yeah, and everybody is like oh I like to just let me kids be kids, and play with other children. They don’t need parents hovering over them 24/7. Yeah, ok i agree with that to an extinct. But that doesn’t excuse you from still not giving your 100 to the child. And FYI, Sorry nannies but if I’m paying you to take care of my child, you willmraise them the way I ask. If I want you to hover and keep,close eye, then that’s what your a*s is getting paid

  23. Gretchen at 2:52 pm

    There is a lady who lives in my town who will leave her kids in the car or will ignore them completely

  24. Stacy S at 9:36 pm

    I work at an elementary school and I see moms and dads every day in the drop-off/pick-up lines talking on their phones while their kids and their friends pile into or out of the car. More often than not the kids are also unbuckled even when the car is still in motion and pulling up to the curb. We actually had a mother run over her own child because she was talking on the phone as she pulled forward and didn’t see that he had bolted forward to pick up a paper he dropped. Thankfully, she was going at such a slow speed that he walked away with just a few bruises but… was the phone call that important? I doubt it.

  25. Over the mommy/nanny wars at 10:07 am

    Wow. Sancti-much?

  26. wtaf at 1:45 pm

    You saw a car full of strangers for a whole two minutes at a red light and said to yourself “obviously the nanny; how dare she be on the phone with someone else’s kids in the car”. Right, that’s a logical jump. I forgot, only nannies have cell phones, parents don’t. Honestly, I think you were doing some shitty parenting yourself if you noticed this women for an extended amount of time on different occasion….But okay.

  27. supermom at 7:55 am

    maybe you should stop sounding like a stuckup c**t of a woman and maybe a mother should be with her kids. if you have a job and no time for children maybe just maybe you should be responsible and use birth control. bc parents who hite nannies basically are letting someone raise their kid that clearly just want money so this is the reason why generations are becomming the way they are.

  28. Not impressed. By you. at 11:02 am

    Please stop shaming people. You really have no idea what the context was here. Maybe a woman is pushing her child to explore on his own instead of being clingy. Maybe she wants him to begin understanding he needs to experience things *without*hovering and interacting every second. Maybe those phone calls were really important and she’s just good at being polite and laughing and making someone feel goos. Maybe she was taking the kid to the museum twice in a row because he loves exploring on his own and said “mommy can you just let me do my thing instead of hovering over me like the last few times because it was super annoying and in order to THRIVE I need to be able to experience things on my own. Why is that lady staring at You? Did she just take a picture on her phone of us?Why wont she let her kids experience the museum.on their own?”

    And to try to find out her information and get her fired *if* She is a Manny? Really? You need to take a step back, breathe and stop judging other people’s parentingnskills. Seriously. That’s just crazy. Like unacceptable. It is not your place. You have no idea what’s going on and it sounds like you followed them around to point out what you thought was bad parenting. Did your kids even get to enjoy themselves while you were being sanctimonious? I usually love your stuff but this irks me so much.

    Stop telling people how to parent. Seriously. Unless the child was ACTUALLY being neglected (saying something like this is neglect is oh so wrong on I’m so many levels) or tearing things up or bullying other kids,keep your parephial eye daggers to yourself. Stop judging others. Enjoy your own experience and let go of this to need to control other people’s kids and experience.

  29. Nathan at 5:21 pm

    I mostly agree with the previous comment. There are valid reasons a parent, relative, or nanny may choose to let a child take the initiative. Don’t we want to raise people with resourcefulness and agency? I see nothing harmful in letting the kid choose which exhibits to look at as long as he isn’t getting hurt or hurting anyone else.

    The tone if this blog is sanctimonious. That might be fine if the author had considered the incidents she writes about deeply enough to her great confidence, but here we have an author who insists that “following the toddler wherever he decided to go” is neglectful without considering, or even showing awareness of, the possibility that exactly what many toddlers need is to be able to make more decisions for themselves in a safe and interesting environment like a museum. She would do well to ask whether other people are really the foolish cretins she paints them as, or if they may just have another intelligent perspective on things than she has.

  30. Jem at 11:37 pm

    Ok My first and Biggest issue ,which everyone seems to have skipped over, is that the Lady saw this Nannie on her phone while Driving and that she had a kid in the car at the same time. There is NO excuss for talking on your cell phone while driving!!!

    As for talking on the phone all the time at the museum I don’t think the nannie was ignoring the child in her care by following him around and letting him explore However that being said, the Nannie should have been helping the child understand some of the things he/she was going to. Teach him about it by making it fun and easy for him/her to understand. I find in a bit irresponsible for a nannie to be talking on the phone as much as the lady said she was. The nannie was hired to watch the child and take care of him, not talk on the phone and let the child do what he/she wants. Think about it, If you are hired to do a certain job would your employer allow you to talk on the phone all the time? probably not.

    Also to all the moms who take their kids to parks and then just start talking to other people ignoring their kids is Irresponsible! I’m not saying don’t talk at all, I’m saying pay attention to your children while talking. It doesn’t take long for a child to go missing.

  31. Ali at 2:20 pm

    As a nanny and a mother, it’s really a bummer ready this judgy post. I’ve learned a lot about myself from becoming a mother. I’m a single mom by choice because my husband became abusive while I was pregnant. I nanny so I can spend time with my son during the day and you can bet I’ll be on my phone for part of the time I’m with them because I’m a human being too and have appointments to make and important calls to answer that may make me look giggly and flirty to someone watching, but it’s essential for me to make these calls or answer them when I do! Not just during nap time either. I spent 2 months trying to find a new apartment and that meant tons of calls to rental companies. One thing I’ve found through this experience is self love, confidence and compassion. I think it would help you to sit down and reflect on why someone else doing things that didn’t direct affect you bothered you so much that you wanted to go out of your way to negatively react to them, spending extensive energy on something you weren’t involved in to begin with. Yes, phone call in the car with a kid is no good but in no way is neglect. The children or child was not in immediate danger due to that. Even if you believed they were, why didn’t you at least take a deep breath and calmly speak with this woman to voice your concern in a positive way rather than bashing her on the Internet? It may make you feel good on here but think about the fact that this isn’t making anything better and it’s actually making you boil inside, which isn’t helping you either. Take time to think about what other people are going through. Take time to think about how you could help in a compassionate way instead. Go up to a woman that you think is neglecting their child and say “hey, I just wanted to say it seems like you have a lot going on right now and I’m a little worried for your little one at the moment. This may not be the case but I wanted to offer some help if you needed it. I have my kid here, maybe ours can play together while you take your call?” That way you you’re helping! And I’m sure it would make you feel positive and happy inside instead of negative and angry over something you can’t possibly control. Yes, it sucks that people suck at parenting sometimes but no one is 100%, not even you! And being judgemental and cruel isn’t going to fix that.

    • Ali at 2:30 pm

      I also wanted to add a story. I get pretty exhausted after my days nannying, especially in this summer heat. I had to work then take my son to the post office, wait in line for 30 minutes then pick us up dinner before going to Walgreens to wait on a prescription. My son is a toddler and was not happy about any of this but it had to be done and I don’t have anyone to help. By the time we were at Walgreens all I could do was stare blankly at people on autopilot. My son was tired and clingy and cranky, crying to me begging me to pick him up and then put him down right after over and over. There were 2 women standing next to me laughing at him and taunting him. They went as far as to say “this is why I don’t have kids” while continuing to laugh and taunt him. I could’ve reacted in anger but instead I walked away crying. I told my son what they did was not ok and I’ve never been so hurt in my life to experience that, seeing my son getting bullied by adult women. It broke my heart and he understood. The next day we needed groceries and he began acting the same way while we were in line to checkout. I was worried because my hands were full and I couldn’t put stuff down on the belt because the person ahead of us wouldn’t scoot their stuff up. People started to stare at us. Then, a woman came up to me with the kindest look and kindest voice and spoke to Gus calmly asking if she could hold him to comfort him instead of mama because mama’s hands were full. He said no but she gently asked if she could hold my things for me instead. I almost cried thanking her. Suck a simple and kind act made the day before vanish in my mind and gave me hope in people again. If you see something happening that you know is difficult or you may not like, try to react in a positive way. It may make someone’s day, you may connect to someone new and realize things weren’t as you thought they were. You may feel good about yourself inside for helping someone in need or deciding to figure things out positively rather than jumping to negativity.

  32. Amanda at 10:17 am

    How the heck do you know this person is a nanny?? I get mistaken for my charges’ mother every single time I’m out with them. There is absolutely no way of knowing that this was not a stay at home mom who needed something to distract her child for a few minutes so she could have an adult conversation. Way to completely generalize a whole group of people and act like this person was beneath you so obviously it must be the nanny. Hasn’t anyone ever told you what ASSUMING does??