Sandy Hook could happen at your school, and yes, I know this sucks to think about. A lot.

This morning Zoey freaked out about her hair. She got this new fancy bun wrap (like this fancy glittery thing that wraps around it) and she has literally worn it every single day for the past six days. So every day I have to put her hair up in a high ponytail and everyday we have the same fight.

ZOEY: Owwwwww!!!!!!

ME: Zoey, there are knots. If you brushed it out well before I started it wouldn’t hurt.


ME: You can cut your hair shorter and it won’t be so knotty anymore.

ZOEY: No!!

Every. Single. Day. But NOT today.

Today she was trying to get it in a bun and it was time to go to school and the car was already heating up in the garage, and I came ‘this close’ to yelling at her to forget about her stupid hairdo and get in the car.  But I didn’t. Because I knew what day it was. It’s on my calendar so I won’t forget it.

Today is the day of the Sandy Hook shooting. The day I kiss my kids and hug my kids a little bit more when they’re leaving for school. The day I desperately try not to get mad at them for freaking out about their hair or not getting their shoes on fast enough or getting toothpaste all over the sink. I know I should be like this every day, but today I try even harder because of what happened.

The other day I was watching TV and one of the mothers of a Sandy Hook victim was talking about preventing gun violence and I thought to myself, of course she’s doing this. If I lost a child to gun violence I would stop everything in my life to fight for the cause.

But then I realized how stupid my line of thinking is. Wait until your child gets hurt, and then do something? I don’t wait until my kid is in a car accident and then buckle her seatbelt. I don’t wait until my kid gets hit by a car and then tell her to look both ways. I don’t wait until she drowns in a pool and then, well, you get the idea. 

When Parkland happened I joined Moms Demand Action, but I haven’t done enough with them.  I went to a couple of meetings and talked to our school board about a safety committee, and then I just kind of stopped. I’m sorry I didn’t keep going. If moms and dads don’t step up to the plate to fight for our kids, no one is going to. 

It’s not enough just to give my kids a bigger kiss goodbye and not get mad at them one morning a year.

If you’re still reading this right now, A. thank you, and B. I want you to do something. Look at this picture, and then change the faces in your mind to the kids in your child’s class.

It’s painful to think about, I know. Incredibly painful. Sadly this year Holden is the same age as they were, so it’s particularly heart-wrenching to think about. But I am. Instead of these adorable little faces, I’m substituting the kids in his class. Bella, Angel, Mickey, Alex, Sarah, and Holden. Oh my God, it hurts just to think about it.

But I am. Because I don’t want to wait for something to happen before I do something. I don’t want to be a mom speaking on the news because I lost my child. I want to be just a regular mom trying not to yell too much when I brush my daughter’s hair or tell my son to get his shoes on.  

If you think this is important, please don’t forget to like and share this post. Thank you. 

There are 7 comments for this article
  1. alessandra vaughn at 10:36 am

    The day after Sandy Hook shooting all the schools in my school district keep the doors locked and installed a door bell and camera and a thing where you can speak to those inside and the staff at all the schools have to let you in. The schools slowly installed bullet proof glass over all the schools and are now working on bullet proof doors. The schools also do lots of lock downs and practice drills for just in case of anything that could go wrong. yes i fell a little safer to the fact that i know that the faculty members will protect my daughter and all the other students. I also taught my daughter if necessary go hide in a classroom cabnet or closet and make sure it is locked and not to come out until i say so. what im about to say sounds selfish but i dont want to go through what the parents of sandy hook went through. i told my daughter dont be a hero. save yourself.

  2. Nikki Grunenberg at 2:30 pm

    It is heart wrenching that we even have to teach our kids what to do if a shooter enters their school. It blows my mind! My daughter is just over 18 months old and the thought of sending her to school scares me, despite living in a wonderful school district. Because that won’t matter. It takes just 1 student to feel so hurt and angry that they lash out. Just 1. SMH

  3. Katherine Codella at 3:47 pm

    My son was the same age as those kids when it happened. We only live two hours away from there. We drive through Sandy Hook when we go to visit family in NY. That year, the day we headed to NY for Christmas was the day of the last funeral. I dreaded seeing it, but thankfully we didn’t. Now my son is in seventh grade, and I fear even more that this could happen in his school. I think about Sandy Hook often, but I always hug my son a little longer on this day.

  4. Jen at 5:28 pm

    I’m from Australia, so my experience of gun control is somewhat different.

    I find it absolutely maddening and ridiculous that schools must do such things as install bullet proof doors. The issue should be the guns and getting rid of them, not working around them. Not accommodating them.

    When our biggest ever massacre happened in 1996, when 35 people lost their lives, our Government stepped up the next day. Gun laws changed. And, it has never happened again.

    My country isn’t perfect. We’ve got a lot to work on, but I think we did this right.


  5. Claudia at 9:50 pm

    I grew up in Sandy Hook, and went to Sandy Hook Elementary. I live a town over now, but Newtown will forever be my home. Today someone thought it would be fun to call in a bomb threat. Today. To Sandy Hook Elementary School. If that’s not a reminder that monsters are still out there, I don’t know what is. There is no community that can afford to forget that the impossible can happen there. If it could happen in my hometown, it can absolutely happen anywhere.

    • Barbara Spindler at 3:46 pm

      Not only Sandy Hook, but also Columbine HS. AND to 598 other locations. 600 total got these same bomb threats. 600 consciously made phone/text/whatever threats. It takes a special kind of demented illness to think this way. My heart goes out to you that you’re even closer than the rest of us to this madness, a constant reminder, and also a blessing that you can help keep this memory alive so we also never forget. My youngest is 27, oldest 35. We still hug them tight every chance we get! Blessings for a peaceful 2019 for everyone reading this! (and everyone else not reading this, too!)

  6. LA at 3:42 am

    As a European this makes me sick. I will never get the US mentality with regards to weapons. Making arms unavailable to civilian except extremely carefully selected cases is indeed a restriction to everyone’s rights. So is forbidding to drive after a drink. Or forbidding to smoke in a movie theater. So what? Aren’t there more important things that your right to own a stupid gun?

    On a lighter topic, if your kid has knotted hair teach her to comb like this: start from the tips, maybe the last 2 inches or so, and comb while holding the upper part so that it doesn’t hurt (I hope it makes sense, English is clearly not my language). When the tips are OK, move up and do 2 more inches. Keep going until all the lenght is combed. Once she gets the hang of it, it is faster and pain free. Also, it took a lot for me to figure this out, but normal combs (not wide teeth nor super thin, just normal) are better for knotty weavy/curly hair than brushes.

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