This morning Zoey freaked out about her hair. She got this new fancy bun wrap (like this fancy glittery thing that wraps around it) and she has literally worn it every single day for the past six days. So every day I have to put her hair up in a high ponytail and everyday we have the same fight.
ME: Zoey, there are knots. If you brushed it out well before I started it wouldn’t hurt.
ZOEY: OWWWWW, MOM!!!!!!!
ME: You can cut your hair shorter and it won’t be so knotty anymore.
Every. Single. Day. But NOT today.
Today she was trying to get it in a bun and it was time to go to school and the car was already heating up in the garage, and I came ‘this close’ to yelling at her to forget about her stupid hairdo and get in the car. But I didn’t. Because I knew what day it was. It’s on my calendar so I won’t forget it.
Today is the day of the Sandy Hook shooting. The day I kiss my kids and hug my kids a little bit more when they’re leaving for school. The day I desperately try not to get mad at them for freaking out about their hair or not getting their shoes on fast enough or getting toothpaste all over the sink. I know I should be like this every day, but today I try even harder because of what happened.
The other day I was watching TV and one of the mothers of a Sandy Hook victim was talking about preventing gun violence and I thought to myself, of course she’s doing this. If I lost a child to gun violence I would stop everything in my life to fight for the cause.
But then I realized how stupid my line of thinking is. Wait until your child gets hurt, and then do something? I don’t wait until my kid is in a car accident and then buckle her seatbelt. I don’t wait until my kid gets hit by a car and then tell her to look both ways. I don’t wait until she drowns in a pool and then, well, you get the idea.
When Parkland happened I joined Moms Demand Action, but I haven’t done enough with them. I went to a couple of meetings and talked to our school board about a safety committee, and then I just kind of stopped. I’m sorry I didn’t keep going. If moms and dads don’t step up to the plate to fight for our kids, no one is going to.
It’s not enough just to give my kids a bigger kiss goodbye and not get mad at them one morning a year.
If you’re still reading this right now, A. thank you, and B. I want you to do something. Look at this picture, and then change the faces in your mind to the kids in your child’s class.
It’s painful to think about, I know. Incredibly painful. Sadly this year Holden is the same age as they were, so it’s particularly heart-wrenching to think about. But I am. Instead of these adorable little faces, I’m substituting the kids in his class. Bella, Angel, Mickey, Alex, Sarah, and Holden. Oh my God, it hurts just to think about it.
But I am. Because I don’t want to wait for something to happen before I do something. I don’t want to be a mom speaking on the news because I lost my child. I want to be just a regular mom trying not to yell too much when I brush my daughter’s hair or tell my son to get his shoes on.
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