Spin the bottle and other FUN party games for 10-year-olds!! Not

Ummmm. WTF? So the other night I went to pick Zoey up from an innocent little 5th grade birthday party. As in cute 10 and 11-year-olds. But you’re not going to believe what they were doing when I arrived. Are you ready for this? They were playing, wait for it… spin the bottle. Spin the F’ing bottle. At TEN-YEARS-OLD!!!!!

I mean just yesterday she looked like this.

Cute-Baby

And then I blinked.

As soon as I walked into the party, Zoey ran up to me with alarm and told me what was going on. Nope. Nu-uh. Not gonna happen. F that. Oh hellll no. But what the heck should I do? I mean A. It’s not my kid’s party so I can’t make a scene. And B. I was kind of in shock and didn’t have time to think. So I just did the first thing I could think of.

I walked right over to the circle and said, “Hey whatch’you guys playing?” And the ringleader blurted out, “Spin the bottle!” And I just stood there. Yup. Awwwwkward. But I stayed. You guys want to play a game that you are wayyyyyyy too young for and that’s totally inappropriate, be my guest. I’m just gonna stand right here and watch.

Apparently they were playing the “hugging” version, which is better than the “kissing” version, and way better than the “shove your tongue down someone else’s throat” version, but still NOT OKAY. The way I see it, the hugging version is just a gateway drug to Seven Minutes in Heaven. 

Anyways, after a few minutes of me watching and none of them really doing anything except giggling, I told Zoey it was time to go, and she jumped up and we left.

ZOEY: That was awkward.

I thought she meant me standing there watching was awkward. Nope, she went on to explain how awkward it was to play spin the bottle and how it made her feel totally uncomfortable, and then she told me that the lovely ringleader tried to turn it into a kissing version. WHAT?!!! At 10-years-old?!!!!

ME: That is NOT okay.

ZOEY: I know. I stood up in front of everyone and said there was no way I was going to do that.

ME: You did?!

ZOEY: Yes.

ME: Zoey, I am SO proud of you!!!! Not only did you stand up for yourself, but you probably made it easier for any other kids who were too scared to say anything.

ZOEY: Plus, people were videoing on their phones and they said they were going to put it on social media. I hope they don’t put me on.

ME: So what if they do.

ZOEY: Mommm, it’s social media!!

ME: Did you do anything that would be embarrassing?

ZOEY: No.

ME: Well, then you don’t have to be concerned. If you don’t do anything embarrassing, you don’t have to worry about what people share on social media.

And that’s when I realized something. I think it sucks that someone suggested they play spin the bottle at this age, but you know what doesn’t suck? A. that my kiddo didn’t do something she felt peer-pressured to, and B. that she came and talked to me about it.

Oh, and C. that I learned you can’t prevent bad shit from happening. The bad shit’s gonna happen, sometimes when you’re there and can stop it, and sometimes when you’re not there. All you can do is teach your kiddo how to handle the bad shit BEFORE it happens. And hope they come talk to you about it after so you can tell them how F’ing proud you are of them. And of yourself.

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There are 7 comments for this article
  1. Krystin Nihei at 10:36 am

    Where the F were the parents when this game was going on?? My kiddo turns 7 next week. I am dreading having to deal with this…

  2. Hilari M. at 11:35 am

    Where were the parents of the “birthday child?”

  3. Lori at 11:43 am

    I’m shocked that they have social media accounts to POST this to, at 10 years old. Why the heck aren’t these parents policing this? (The whole concept of this really bothers me that these kids were playing that at this age, but the continuation of it also having a social media presence in their young lives is really disturbing to me.

    • Wolf at 9:02 am

      “do not post pics and videos of others without their consent” needs to be a basic rule if kids use social media. And one of the reasons why parents should know what their ten year old is doing online.

  4. Kerrin at 12:04 pm

    Ohmygosh! I’m so proud of Zoey, *I* want to take her out for ice cream. Knowing that my 10 year old self would NEVER have been brave enough to say ‘no way, not for me thank you,’ I admire her so much! WAY TO GO ZOEY! And I love your approach to just sit there and be present, without so much as a word. That was so much better than speaking or admonishing and making you the bad guy, instead you forced their consciences out! Way to go Momma!

  5. Miranda Jean at 7:58 pm

    My daughter is 15 and has played the “jam your tongue in somebody else’s mouth” version. Ahhh, it gets so complicated as they get older.