Junior High: The Ten Rules of Friendship

Dear daughter,

I’m gonna be honest with you. Junior high sucks. Yup, I am not going to b.s. you and tell you it’s all hunky dory and a bowlful of rainbow cherries. Basically it’s like walking through the prison courtyard every day in your orange jumpsuit trying to figure out which group of inmates isn’t going to stab you with a shiv.

But here’s the good news. It can suck less. If you can find a few nice friends, keep being an awesome person, and focus on why you’re there (to learn amazing things!), you might actually get through it somewhat unscathed.

So here goes, here’s what I’m calling the ten rules of friendship for junior high. And hopefully if you follow these rules and find other kids who do too, maybe one day when you look back on junior high, you won’t have to swallow your own vomit. And you can be proud of the person you were. 

The ten rules of friendship in junior high: 

  1. People aren’t nice based on how they treat you. They’re nice based on how they treat EVERYONE.
  2. The more inclusive you are, the more friends you can have. Being exclusive just limits your friendships.
  3. Don’t talk shit behind other people’s backs at school. If you want to talk shit behind other people’s backs, come home. That’s what moms are for.
  4. Be friendly to everyone. But be friends with the people who deserve your friendship.
  5. Good friends will encourage you to do good things, not peer-pressure you to do bad things.
  6. If a bunch of jerkwads are having a party and you’re not invited, who cares? You didn’t want to hang out with a bunch of jerkwads anyway.
  7. If you can focus on yourself and what you’re doing, you’ll be happier than if you focus on what other people are doing.
  8. If someone is being mean to you, it’s because they’re hurting on the inside. That doesn’t make it okay. Just know it’s not you who has the problem.
  9. If you’re hanging out with friends and having a great time, the only reason to brag about it on social media is to make other people feel left out.
  10. Don’t let the a-holes get you down. You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can control your own reactions. 

If you liked this, please don’t forget to like and share it! Thank you!! And don’t forget to check out my latest book Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow up to be A-Holes.

It has lots of great tips on how to raise happy, kind, not a-holey kiddos. Buy it for yourself, or anonymously leave it on someone’s doorstep who needs a hint. Just make sure they don’t have a Ring doorbell and see you do it. 

There are 6 comments for this article
  1. Cheryl S. at 12:16 pm

    This is my favorite post you have ever done. I wish I’d read it in the early 80’s.

    • George Pope at 5:12 pm

      Same here. . . might’ve spared me lots of those courtyard shivs. . .

  2. Laura Marchetta at 12:49 pm

    Applies to high school, college, work place and beyond!

    • Tiffany Whirley at 8:21 pm

      And upper elementary! I read it to my rising 5th grader and she loved it

  3. Dalia at 5:09 pm

    I agree with what others have said. This is SUCH a great post FULL of wisdom. Ugh. The pain of social media. I get jeally as a grown-a*s old woman!