So here’s a question. How is my kid supposed to go to school, go to activities, get her homework done, AND go to bed at a decent hour? She’s only 12, and it already feels like her life is a rat race.
Like yesterday she got out of school, had her tutor, went to an hour of ice skating, and then had a crapload of homework to do. At 9:30 when I went into her room to take her devices 1/2 before bedtime, she panicked.
ZOEY: But I’m not done with homework!!!!!!
So I calmed her down and said she could keep working, but at 10:00, my hubby and I were like it’s time for bed. I mean sure we could totally let her stay up and finish her homework, but then she’ll just be exhausssted the next day. So we have two choices, let her not finish her homework and do worse in school or let her finish her homework and do worse in school. Hmmmm.
They say our kids need to have activities and passions because colleges look for that.
They say our kids need to get good grades because colleges look for that too.
They say our kids need to get a good night’s sleep.
They say our kids need downtime to decompress.
They say our kids should eat dinner with their families.
They say A LOT of things.
What they don’t say is how it’s impossible to do it all.
I feel like I’m setting my kid up to have a life like mine. I have so many things to do, I’m destined to fail. I’m spread too thin. But at 49, at least I’m an adult and able to decide what I can fail at each day. My kid is 12, and she doesn’t have that “luxury.” I can’t believe I’m calling that a luxury.
She has people telling her she has to finish her homework or she’ll get a bad grade on it. She has people telling her it’s time for skating class. She has people telling her it’s time for dinner. She has people telling her theater is longer tonight because it’s dress rehearsal. She has people telling her she can’t have screen time until she does her homework and then telling her it’s too late for screen time.
And if you think she has too many activities, think again. She has two. Ice skating and theater. Two passions because she loves them both and she’s not ready to give either of them up. Yet. I say “yet” because something’s gotta give. It’s like kids can’t do anything half-ass these days. When I was a kid, you could go to ballet for an hour a week. Nowadays, you’re basically training to be a prima ballerina even if you’re not. You can’t do anything half-ass and you have to everything full-ass, and one full-ass plus another full-ass equals two full-asses, and two full-asses is just too much.
I wish I had some tidy way to wrap this up and tell you I know what I’m gonna do, but I don’t. All I know is that I just spent thirty minutes writing this, which was time I could have spent doing the laundry, or grocery shopping, or preparing my invoices, or scheduling a doctor’s appointment, or exercising, or doing a million other things that are on my to-do list.
Hmmm, maybe I’m just preparing my daughter for adulthood, but that worries me too. In all that preparation to become an adult, maybe she’s losing her time to be a child.
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