Bwahahaha I can’t believe your kid calls it that
You know what kills me? How my kiddos used to speak when they were little. OMG, their tiny adorable voices and their baby laughs and their funny toddler words. Zoey used to call coconuts “nuck nucks” and Holden called guacamole “macamole.” It was so stinkin’ cute. But they slowly learned the real words now they sound coherent and more grown up and wahhhhh, where did all those cute words go?!! But the other day, Holden used one of those cute words again and I put up a dinky little post about it:
HOLDEN: Mom, look at all those nestesses in that tree.
HUBBY: Holden, they’re called–
ME: Don’t you DARE correct him.
And OMG, did the hilarious comments pour in. People shared the “wrong” words their kids use and some of them had me literally laughing out loud. So I’m gonna quit yapping and share some of my favorites with you (and don’t forget to share your own kid’s hilariously adorable “words” in the comments so everyone can see!!) Drumroll please, badadadadadadadada now presenting some hilarious wordses by kidses:
Mommy, look!! He’s driving a…
Wahhhh, my toy stopped working. We need to put in some new…
Me no want banana. Me want to eat some…
Nooo, that doesn’t sound racist at all, but speaking of cannibalism
Yayyyy, you made my favorite thing to eat…
Poor Eddie. But as long as we’re gonna eat him, pass the…
You know, I feel a little bad for Eddie. Instead I’m gonna have a slice of nice hot…
Bwhahahahahahahaha. Eww.
Your nails are pink, Mommy. Are you wearing…
Mommmm, I’m ready to go to the pool, I put on my…
Oooooh looooook, it’s a…
Mama, don’t forget to put on your…
Who’s everyone’s favorite Thomas the Train character? It’s…
A great segue to everyone’s favorite ladies’ man
Here comes Han Solo in the…
with his friend…
Just what exactly do you cook in the…
If you feel bad for eating the whole entire funnel cake, just go back to…
They’re full of preservatives and all sorts of other naughty things, so maybe that’s why Little Timmy calls them…
Awwww, I love when kids mess up the names of their favorite aminals:
I’m surprised they aren’t overpopulating the earth with that name.
But let’s get back to some G-Rated stuff. Mommy, I want to watch…
She only looks cute and innocent.
And I seriously believe this word needs to be in the dictionary because it totally makes sense…
Last but not least, if you stub your toe and accidentally blurt out a curse word, better get some…
What hilarious words and phrases did your kids say?! Leave them in the comments and if I get enough hilarious ones, I’ll share my favorite ones in another post!!
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Mu-Uff = muffin, Ackum = Apple, Bruddy = brother
After a hard day of playing, my six year old loves to drink ‘blue gator egg!’
My kids call it gator egg too!
Awe so cute.
My kids like to order Hangabers at a restaurant. ?
My daughter called them that too! My son now calls them hammaburgers.
My younger daughter called samosas – some noses
after spending hours looking for Turtle World on our local boardwalk…we finally realized he wanted to go on the tilt a whirl.
My son Lukas always wanted to color with the Kayrons. He used to tell his dad that I was going to blow a basket. hahahaha
My daughter used to say Mee-ilk (milk), Haw-awaii (Hawaii), and Ky (Sky). Not to mention the fact that she put the letter B before a lot of words…Bbrella, bjamas
Avocados will always be audocados and they still laugh about packing their soupcase for a weekend away.
My son love the ponomatic (pomegranate) booberry juice.
My son passed me my bra one morning and said, ‘here Mom, forget your nipple nest’
aahhhahahaa! I think I’m going to use that one from now on!
My eight year old daughter still calls them soup cases (suitcases). I can’t bring myself to correct her.
Tralantrula, keckaboo (peek a boo), and cow catcher…every time my little guy saw a helicopter he would point and say cow catcher, the adults started pointing them out and saying look J a cow catcher and he would get MAD and tell us straight out ‘that’s NOT a cow catcher it’s a cow catcher ??♀️??♀️??♀️
My niece used to call her mom’s bra a “boobie tangle”. So accurate!
My 4 year old calls Captain America “Captain Camerica” and we hope he never stops!
My son is 4 and his school teaches all about the brain. He knows what the pre-frontal cortex does, and what the amygdala does (though he calls it the amygLEAH)…
Anyway, reading a book about the zoo and I pointed to the hippopotamus and said, “What’s that called?” He said “hippocampus!” ??
When my daughter Claire was around 2 or 3, (she is now 12) she said “hanitizer” for hand sanitzer — and we still giggle and say it to this day! (Love that you had this in your post!)
She also called an iPhone “myphone”.
She said “humbrella” for umbrella.
She called Kraft Parmesan Cheese “shaky cheese” (since you had to shake the container to sprinkle it on your pasta).
She also said “can-ah-corn” for canned corn.
She also referred to shoes we took off and left near the door as “door shoes”.
And whenever she heard someone talk about being vegetarian and not eating meat, she would declare that meat eaters should be called “meat-a-tarians”.
When mine was about 6 or 7 I asked “Can you spell CELL PHONE” – he said “Sure! S-E-L-F P-H-O-N-E” ?
Candylion = dandelion
etatant = elephant
KA-Pow = Cow, he kept saying pow instead of cow so we tried to teach him the correct way and it became kapow
Dragon muffin = ragamuffin
hoptacopter = helicopter
hip-hop-atonamous = hippopotamus
Kids are the best!
Raspberries- ‘hairy fruit’
Ridiculous- Ridiclious
Hamburger- Hangaburger
We still call Epcot at Disney World Apricot. How could you fix that? My nephew hates the way stunks smell (skunks)
A skunk sat on a stump.
The stump thunk the stump stunk;
but the skunk thunk the stump stunk.
That is my favorite! My daughter was six and still saying stunk!
My 2.5 year old: caterpillow
spaghettis are “pasta good”
pancake is a verb, as in “let’s go pancake”
Batman is Ba-te-man (like he says it with an Italian accent)
My daughter told her father about her herpes kiss on her arm. Loudly. I’m the grocery store. When she was 4. It was a hershey’s Kiss stamp from school.
Omg this takes the cake!
Eyebrows – eyebrowns
Nylons – nylongs
Apartment – department
Spaghetti – biscetti
My son used to say repartment for apartment! I never had the heart to correct him he just kind of grew out of it!
My son, who wasn’t even that little at the time (like 10 or 11) used to say “Crocodile” instead of Pocket Dial. He legitimately thought that’s what it was called. He’s in college now, but I still say to him, “Sorry, I must have crocodialed you!” LOL
My daughter was admitted at the “hostipal”. We pack a “suictase”. Mommy cook me some “paa-toh-poh” (potato fries). And of course eternal confusion of the hippptomamus or hippopotapus or hippotopapus so we settled for hippo. :’D
My girl used to say “shut-it door” any time she wanted something closed, like a marker.
Avocados – Autovacado
Mac and cheese – Mack-a-mookie
Balloon – Gwee
My favorites over the years were ‘it’s not rocks and science mom!’ and ‘you’re driving my nuts!’
Momitor for (baby) monitor
We knew someone named “Yolanda”. My kid called her mylanda.
My son refers to the groove on your upper lip as a “snot slide”. LMAO
My twins used to loudly yell in the grocery store that they wanted some “boobies” (blue berries) and my son’s favorite animal was pink-a-ma-mingos (pink flamingos).
Well what she was trying to say was “throw in garbage”……it repeatedly came out as “fuh-ka bidge”.
And similar to above, my oldest loves her “Hands-itizer” and refers things as “disastrophes” instead of catastrophes 🙂
Hopper copper = Helicopter and miker cycle = motorcycle.
When my youngest was 2, she called Barbies “Boobies”. Imagine turning up that isle in Target and having your child yell loudly, “BOOBIES, BOOBIES, BOOBIES, I LOVE BOOBIES!”
When we go for a walk around the neighborhood, my son (5 1/2) still reminds us to stay on the walkside.
Cupcake = pupcake
My son calls a spatula a “satchipaw”.
Instead of parmigian cheese it was Farmer John
Trampoline was boompaween
Except mixed with but becomes bucept
A good friends son LOVED dine-a-whores when he was little.
“toeditt” = turtle, Lifesavers (the candy) are always “light sabers” like from Starwars, even before they saw the movie.
S’mores – smorfs
Cauliflower – Crawling flower
Kesha (the singer) – Ketchup
My 8 year learning about ancestors in school, asked me “mom, who are my aunts sisters were?” I didn’t know she was learning about ancestors, I kept saying I was her aunt sisters until she said no the olden days dead people.”
When my kids were little (they are 11 and 12 now), they used to say that boys have a p***s and girls have a China. ??
My precocious quirky kid is 29 now and living in an apartment in San Francisco. When he was two he insisted that apartments should be called “connectments”. At age three he argued that eleven should be “oneteen”, twelve should be “twoteen”, and so on. Not funny, but what’s a parent to do with this kind of sh*t when the kid is right and the world is wrong?
My little guys both had speech sound delays and replaced a lot of sounds with an H sound. So my one son LOVED “dinowhores”! ??
When I was little I like pookles on my hangaburgers.
My six year old…
“Thumb toe” is the big toe – cause what else would it be called?
His favorite Bears player is Mickey Tribicky (Mitchell Trubisky).
And my favorite…my cousin called a cocktail table a “c**k table table” until she was in college and needed a c**k table table!!
My oldest child had some of the best of my four. Hippenpotis (hippopotamus) and hole cupter (cup holder). Thanks to my third, all my kids called it hand sanitizer handzitizer instead. And my little three year old currently calls Rapunzel Papunzel which to hear how she says it in her serious conversation she has with me over this currently important princess is hard not to giggle quietly over and nevvveerr correct. Thanks for sharing! Love kids innocent and adorable expressions!
My daughter called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles …. engine turtles.
My daughter says “mussmash” for mustache, and instead of just “shoes” and “socks” my son calls them both “shoesocks”.
Bringing home the new baby, “Mommy,what’s Tyler doing?” Me- he’s eating. “What’s he eating.. (looks) AHHHH HES EATING YOU!!! He’s eating your boo-boos!!” Sheer panic
Beederbies… butterflies. Tattoons… tattoos. Toppy bear… teddy bear.
My then 3 year old was fond of dropping his pants and going anywhere outside. One time at a little league game I directed him to a port-a-potty and told him he had to go “inside the toilet.” He somehow heard that as “psycho toilet” and our new favorite malopropism was born! My son (also named Holden) is 12 now but we still all call port-a-potties “psycho toilets.” It fits!
My son who is 3
Byebee- library
Objects by what they say not what they’re called…neigh for horse moo for cow Aarrr! for dinosaur etc it’s really cute!
He also uses “us” in place of “we”
Us are home…us are here…where are us?
My youngest uses a “magni-finding glass” to look at small things.
He also yells out “P**p a yurt” (aka, P**p Alert) when he’s got to p**p.
My triplets call pistachios “mustachios” and I never correct them. Now their little sister says it too.
There is a ride at the Jersey Shore called the Moby D**k. My daughter called it the Moldy D**k for years. Now, at 16 years old I told her this this summer and she was mortified.
When my 4-year-old granddaughter has finished eating, she says, “I’m filled in.”
San-hanitizer was my favorite… “Mommy can i put on some lipdick?” was a hard second…lmao
My niece always reminds us to put on “scum-screen” before we go in the pool.
My son used to beg to look at the “long-mongers” (lawnmowers) at Dum heepo (Home Depot) he’s 12 and I still tease him about it!!
My oldest daughter used to call Obama: obomina. Always sounded like she was saying abominable.
My kid kept calling a friend of my dad’s Oren. His name is Warren. In an attempt to correct it I said Wa-Wa-Wa-Warren. So two years later that’s still his name.
Oh love these! My twins for the longest time referred to penguins as pengos and flamingos were mingos. These days at 5 my Holden calls his favorite cereal sticky o’s (honey nut Cheerios) and instructions are constructions “well did u read the constructions mom?” while rolling his eyes ? My daughter still refers to chapstick as lip stack.
My son used to call an octopus and optapuss. And he would tell me his frope (throat) hurts.
Wallamelon= Watermelon
Fruit Poops= Fruit Loops
Pollylop= Lollipop
Lellow= Yellow
Captapillar= Caterpillar
Giant truck man= Optimus Prime
Hanzitizer= Hand sanitizer
It will forever be Fruit Poops in our house and doesn’t Hanzitizer just seem easier anyways?!?
Kids are just plain awesome ❤️
When my daughter could finally say the ‘th’ sound, for a while she would talk about picking up “fings” with her “thingers”.
My son told me the other day that he was “consecrating” (concentrating) on something. I’m a nurse, so we use correct anatomical terminology, and after a conversation about which boy parts are where, my son said, “so my tentacles attach to my p***s?”
Omg. I needed this funny post after the phone call I just got. Apparently my little a-hole decided to copy the older kids on the bus and flipped people off. She is now booted off the bus for the next three days. Thanks for the laugh!
We have only left the kids with a babysitter one time for a date night. The other night my daughter said that she wanted to go to the restaurant that we went to when they were kidnapped.
Dinner of choice for my 4 year old-
Old McDonald’s
My youngest could never pronounce ravioli, so it was “valioli.” And my oldest at age 1-2 would ask for a fork, but it came out slightly differently… “F**k!”
My son calls Kangaroos “hoparoos” and my daughter used to say “peter butter” instead of peanut butter! ?
Cancakes = pancakes
Dipping eggs = sunny side up eggs
I amn’t = I’m not
8 year old- mom why does heli-c**k-ter (helicopter) have a bad word in it?
Me-freaking out wondering how on earth my 8 year old knows the word c**k. Honey what bad word?
8 year old- hell
Me- huge sigh of relief, and I did correct her pronunciation!
My son has a little planet projector with disks… He calls them his “dicks”.
When my daughter was three she called a waitress a mattress, and she used to call Lucky Charms cereal “nocchios” because she thought it was Pinocchio on the box ?
My daughter saw a picture of a squid and called it a “rocket octopus”?
Sooooo many!
My younger sister coined this one: instead of “bikini underpants” she called them “zucchini underpants,” which of course stuck, and of course mutated to “zukes.” So now underpants = zukes!
also helicopter = kelldopper
refrigerator = fridge-i-dator
and my youngest daughter (pre-speech therapy) : clock = t**t
WHOA! Wanna know what time it is? Look at the t**t!
To clarify that last one: the word which was bleeped out starts with tw and ends with at. Sorry about the objectionable word!
When my brother was about 4 years old he farted really loud in church and then said (also really loud) “Awwww chit!” I think my mom almost died of embarrassment.
My daughter is turning 9 tomorrow and still says aminals instead of animals. I just can’t correct it.
When we put things together we need to follow the “Uh-Struck-tions” (Instructions)
At the farm they have a “P**n Kit” (Corn Pit)
Her favorite food is “P**s-ghetti” (Spaghetti)
The twins call Spaghetti paspaghetti.
. helicopter is Chopper, oh and u better “get to the chopper” (say in ur best Arnold voice lol thx Arnold!) Lol.
All if urs were awesome by the way. I was in tears laughing so hard hahaha!
My son, Quin, used to talked in 3rd person when he was about 2 and couldn’t pronounce the Q in his name. My favorite was “Tin duded” for “Quin did”. He would call his sister I-wa for Isla (eye-la).
My daughter would say “opitof” for octopus. She’s 7 and she still says hane-ga-bur for hamburger. Cracks us up!
Cratoonas/ croutons
Haships/ chapstick
Side-up- down/ upside down
My nephew used to call a Fire Truck a “Fire F**k” and we’d just ask him to say it over & over! ?
Somehow Flinstone vitamins became “little men” because my son couldn’t say “vitamin.” Then it morphed into “crunchy man.” He is now 10, and I will still tell him he has to take a “crunchy man.”
Forehead is forehead – she still says it this way. And when she was younger sticks was dicks…LMAO
Sorry …forehead is forkhead…d**n autocorrect.
My 6 yo still likes to eat “oyt-meal” for breakfast.
My nephew used to say “mung-on” for come on
My niece used to say “shivvy me himbers” for Shiver me timbers
I also was correcting my 6 yo that his mom didn’t have “nuts” but she had ovaries in her tummy. That same day he saw me in the bathroom…bc what mom goes by herself…and announced that he saw my “overalls”!
I taught my girls that their.. special areas are called their lady parts. It’s slightly less embarrassing than them exclaiming “my v****a is wet” in public, but you still get a lot of stares. The funniest day was when I told them men have man parts..
My oldest daughter 6 calls a kit Kat a knick knack! So of course I call them that now too! And when my youngest, now 4, was born our oldest pronounced baby like Mae Mae! My youngest now only answers to Mae Mae ?
My son, 6, would say “my peanuts” whenever he meant to say my p***s. For the longest time, he thought that was the right word. He still says it sometimes. Lol.
Ploodles instead of poodles and ambulance instead of ambulance
Alligator for both elivator and escalator
Mom, can you make punk-cakes (pancakes) for breakfast And snakes (steaks) for dinner.
My kids couldn’t pronounce my grandma’s last name which was Emeott. They called her Grandma Idiot. And condiments were compliments.
My son…”Mommy I was in the garage playing with the hookers.” (Hookers=bungee cords)
My daughter saw a pretty leggy bug in the back yard and my son called a crescent moon a banana moon. He was also talking about the Holocaust and how they had constipation camps.
My son called a bikini a zucchini well into fourth grade. When his friends called him on it, he was *really* mad at me! Even funnier, when he was about 15, he was referring to honeysuckle, and kept calling it fuckle-tread. He looked at me like I was from Mars when I started laughing uncontrollably, and was like, “What? Fuckle-tread. You know, the vines? Fuckle-tread.” We still call it that to this day. =)
2 year old son. Knock psyche = motorcycle, eat peet = armpit, air pee = airplane, moosie = miss you.
When my daughter was an infant and my son was 3, he helped me by keeping my daughter “hockey-pied” (occupied) when she was crying while I was using the bathroom! Love little kids and their words <3
Polka dots = polka nuts. ?
Oven = uggen
Opameal = oatmeal (favorite)
milkola = milk
Minellian falcon = millennium falcon
Not a parent but working with kids I’ve heard some good ones, the two best: cadooder (computer), tinky kunk (stinky skunk).
My 5 year old used to call Limos, lemons. He also said “automagic” ?
My 2-year-old saw his daycare provider wearing a hairnet when she was baking bread, and he pointed at it and said, “Spider hat!”
My son would insist on carrying the “rainbrella” in the rain. We still call it that, 36 years later, in our family.
My kid was furious that I did understand when he demanded we “make a spoon.” Days later I realized….fort = fork = spoon.
Both of my kids (4 and 6) call skunks by a funny, but fitting name, stunks. My son (6) always says his heart is “beeping” and my daughter (4) calls ballet “bal-uh-lay.” I never correct them.
My sons favorite train was Percy and was always yelling “ I love P***y”
Pepperoni was also called “ peckeroni”
My niece never understood why we all burst out laughing when she declared “all the pissin’ willies are out!” when the pussywillows were out.
My 9 year old still refers to spinach as “scabbich” mmmmmmmm scabbich.
My son loves Fall and “panumpkins” Also when he’s outside playing and getting really dirty he says “Look how deer-turds I am Mama!” He’s also been on a kick to go and get his “paint faced”
Opidoh = octopus
Licker = lollipop
Living truck = moving van
Epok = peacock
Aye Aye = I love you
When I was a kid, I had a few cute phrases:
Di-wiss-a-wiss = rhinoceros
Pidapopus = hippopotamus
Toyoks Pope-akes = Kellogg’s Corn Flakes
Mo-keets = milk
And my son loved daniva (vanilla) ice cream
My daughter’s favorite vegetable is “cumcubers” ?
I love that you had v****a for lasagna.
T-Turtles = Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
One one more = one more
Cee-ole = cereal
He had one for the applesauce pouches too but I can’t think what it is.
My son’s besy wasa strawbawewwies for strawberries, & yeyyow for yellow(I think he was born with a partly Spanish brain!)
*best was
My list could go on forever… but my favourite my kids say is
Grill Cheese = girl cheese when my daughter was younger she asked how come daddy could have girl cheeses they are only supposed to be for girls haha!
My daughter used to call ice cream “Cheech” and Play-Do was called Tack-Cack.
My daughter calls flamingos “fla-flingos” and I die of the cuteness every. single. time.
My daughter used to call Frisbees “crispies”. She learned the right way and I was so sad.
My youngest likes to say a lot of descriptive words about something instead of just the name of it:
Pan = dinner box
Kangaroo = jumping Joey
Tongs = squeezer spoon
An older kid = a big-year-old
Question mark = a mystery mark
My daughter and I drove home from preschool (she was 4) and she told me they had cookies for snack. I asked what kind of cookies, and listed a few to see if she could remember… “Was it chocolate chip cookies? Or maybe teddy grahams?”
“Nooo,” she said, “it was something like ‘v****a wipers’”?
I nearly crashed the car. It took a good minute before I asked, “do you mean vanilla wafers?”
One of the funniest moments of parenting.
Play dough was pay-a-dough. “Can I play with pay-a-dough?” You know how to say PLAY kid, just use it one more time in that question!
Foresthead for forehead and my son used to ask for mushrooms in his hot chocolate (meaning marshmallows -that’s a gross mixup!!)
My 24 year old son still calls ibuprofen, iDiprofun.
Tonight, my niece called a hot dog “hot guy”.
My daughter used to ask for “hangaburgers with cheese” and she likes “sneezening” (any kind of seasoning, more appropriate when it’s pepper) on her food.
My son used to call safety earmuffs “earmuffins”! He had some other mispronounced words, but the kid could clearly say Brachiosaurus and excavator at about 2.5-3 years old so there weren’t very many incorrect ones.
Our 14yo used to call elephants “en-o-wents,” princess was “crin-cess.” Kitten was “titten.”
When we were very lil kids, my cousin used to call green grapes “gerbeen gerbapes.” They’re still gerbeen gerpapes…were in our 40s.
For some weird reason, my baby brother called ketchup “D.” ?
I had a neighbor years ago who was teaching her kids correct names for their private parts. While at a Cub Scout meeting she asked her son to set the table. He couldn’t find the silverware in whatever container they were carried in and asked “Where’s the testicles?”
Many giggles…..
My 3 year old calls Home Depot “Depot Ho-ho.” ?
My daughter used to call a P***s a PeeNIT and a tummy ache was a Stummy ache ???
Seeping OOOEEEE for Sleeping Beauty, Bracamole for Guacamole, Constructions for Instructions, Boobie Pouches for bras
My daughter once turned to my Mom and I when she was 7 yrs old and said “Mommy, my b***s hurt!” cue my Mom and I trying not to die laughing while asking what? She meant the heels of her feet. ??
Mine calls any mole she sees, especially on my face, “nipple”
These are all so cute!!
One day I was out with my daughter and she kept saying she could see my “nipple” so I kept looking down at my shirt.. finally she pointed to my face and said “right there, you have a nipple on your face!” She meant pimple?♀️
Phineas & Ferb- Phineas The Perv
And we still call Parmesan cheese- Farmer John Cheese
Neck-name instead of nickname. (And she points to her neck every time she says it.)
Got a new one today! My 5 year old came home talking about how they watched a show at school and in it, sister bear was biting her nails. And did you know biting your nails is a bad rabbit? Bad rabbits are things that aren’t good for you! Took me a bit at first to figure out rabbit=habit lol
My sister took my nephew to see the live action Jungle Book and when I asked him about it he said his favorite character was Bageesha (Bagheera). Lol. We still call him that.
My son definitely says “p***y” instead of Percy. My husband and I giggle every.single.time. His new thing is to call a computer a “pooter.” My daughter used to say “suncream” for sunscreen. For a while my daughter had trouble with her “s” so her scooter was her “cooter.” Both kids calls McDonalds “Old MacDonalds”- I hope this one never goes away.
My nephew would say to his mom. Let’s go immin in the immin pool. Immin means swimming.