We went into lockdown on March 13th and almost immediately Zoey asked the question that was bothering her the most. “Will this be finished by my birthday?” And I knew the answer. No. It broke my heart to tell her. I mean Zoey literally starts thinking about her next birthday party the second her last…
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So yesterday I went out for a walk (if I didn’t get the heck out of my house, I was going to go bananas and freak out on someone), and I decided to listen to a podcast. It was The Daily and the episode was about this woman named Jasmine who owns a restaurant in…
Question. Is anyone else getting tired of e-learning? ME!! ME!!!! I am!!! FYI, I’m raising my hand so F’ing high it’s touching the ceiling. Oh my gawwwddd, the constant questions, the impossible math, the messy science projects. I mean don’t get me wrong, the teachers are doing a totally kickass job, but I am not…
Okay, so I’m kinda freaking out. WTF are we going to do with our kids all summer?!! I know they haven’t officially canceled camp yet, but it’s looking like they won’t be going back in June and I’m not even sure I’ll feel good about sending them in July and unless the gods listen to…
Do you remember where you were in the year 2020? I know some of you were nothing more than little eggies and tadpoles in your mamas and dadas waiting to be conceived, but I was eleven (yes, I know I’m dating myself). Actually almost eleven. I remember because I’ll never forget my eleventh birthday. It…
Holy crap, you are not going to believe what happened in our house. So I’m tucking Holden into bed and he’s totally stalling by asking me questions he knows I have to answer and can’t ignore… “but Mom, how does the baby get out of the fagina?”… when all of the sudden I hear Zoey…
This sucks. Don’t get me wrong, I know social distancing is super important and saving lives and the Sideburns family will stay home and hunker down because we’re taking this very seriously. But still, it sucks. I’m a terrible homeschool mom, I go crazy without some alone time, I’m snacking constantly, and we’re only on…
Freaking out every time your kids walk into the house “WASH YOUR HANDS FOR TWENTY SECONDS RIGHT NOW BEFORE YOU TOUCH ANYTHING!!!!!” which is kinda hilarious because all day long at school they’re literally sucking on water fountains and taking other people’s boogers and putting them in their nose. Buying toilet paper out the wazoo
Dear every woman who’s ever run to be the President of the United States, So this morning my daughter was sitting at the counter eating her breakfast and do you know what she said? Randomly out of nowhere she announced, “One day I’m going to be the President of the United States.” She didn’t say,…