Yo, crazy lady, you ain’t MY Nana

Dear Baby Sideburns,

My Mother-in-Law refers to herself as Nana when she emails me, leaves me voicemails, texts me, etc. She is not MY Nana! It’s driving me crazy. What should I do?

You’re the best.
Emily

Dear Emily,

Oh, I am SOOOOOO sorry you are going through this. I mean this is like my second biggest peeve. My first is when wives call their husbands Daddy. Because one minute you’re saying, “Daddy, can you get the diaper bag out of the car?” and the next minute it slips out of your mouth in bed and you’re accidentally saying, “Oh yes, yes, harder, Daddy, harder!” Ewwwwwwwy, yucky, gross, wrong, NO NO NO.

And it’s kind of the same thing for Nana. I mean not as disgusting and incesty, but still very very wrong.

So here’s what I want you to do. I want you to start calling yourself Mommy to her. Yup, give that granny a taste of her own icky medicine. Like when you call her on the phone say, “Hi, it’s Mommy!” Or when she visits give her a hug and sweetly say, “Mommy loves you.” Or when you guys are all going out for dinner say, “Mommy thinks Nana should try to go tinkle before we leave.”

Hopefully it’ll freak her out and she’ll stop what she’s doing. And if not and she thinks it’s cute, then I’m sorry she’s totally cray cray and you’re F’ed.

xoxo

Baby Sideburns