Dear Baby Sideburns
Our eight month old still wakes us up constantly through the night. I was thinking about letting him cry it out but my friend says that’s mean. What do you think?
Beep beep beep beep beep beep. You know what that’s the sound of? That’s the sound of my bullshit’o’meter going off. Unless your “friend” is going to
come on over to your house at all hours of the night to change Mr. Poopie Pants and sing him every verse of Bye Bye Miss American Pie because he screams bloody murder if you stop in the middle, tell your friend to keep her sleep training opinions to herself.
Parents who use CIO (Crying it Out) are not mean. You know who’s mean? That adorable little love-muffin who gets his kicks out of waking your tired ass up like 9,000 times a night. And what does he care if he doesn’t sleep at night since he can just sneak in a bunch of cat naps in his car seat the next day while you’re walking around like a zombie on the set of the Walking Dead.
I mean I know I’m not the sleep-training expert or anything, but letting your baby cry it out is basically teaching them how to deal with shit on his own, which is kinda an important skill in life. Otherwise they grow into one of those douchbaggy adults who has to call his Mommy to wipe him every time he makes poopies at the office.
Does CIO feel mean? Yes. It’s gonna suck ass and the torture of listening to your kiddo scream for 20 minutes (feel like 20 hours) is gonna feel worse than being waterboarded (not a scientific fact) and you’re totally gonna want to go in there and you’re gonna ask your hubby stuff like, “Do you think he’s okay?” and “What if he pooped?”
But here’s the one thing you have to remember. Sorry, two things. One, STAY STRONG!!!!! It sucks but you can do it. And two, you are teaching your kid to self-soothe, so that one day when the vending machine eats his quarters he’s able to deal with it and doesn’t freak out crying and screaming and calling for Mommy and Daddy because he doesn’t know how to calm himself down.
Hope that helps!