2. At least it’s contained.
3. Why does this shit always happen when HE takes care of the kids?
4. Why can’t he do normal shit with them, like puzzles or plop them in front of the TV?
5. Wait a sec, maybe it’s food. Lemme taste it.
6. Ewww, YUCK, that is NOT food. Dude, the next time you leave fluffy white shit on the counter that is not food, you are required to leave a post-it note next to it that says DO NOT EAT or one that says NOT MARSHMALLOW FLUFF because right now I’m wiping my tongue with a napkin trying to get rid of that disgusting taste.
7. Never mind, who gives an F what it is? He had the rugrats. I had an hour to myself.