Holy crap, some other people suck at making school lunches just like meeee!!!
Hey, have you seen the totally rude post that a-hole mom wrote about Pinteresty moms who pack fancy lunches? This one. She must either be like a total super bitch or suffer from crazy low self-esteem.
Nahhhh, just kidding, that was meeee!!!
And when you saw it if you weren’t running off to grab some tissues because you were crying (or peeing) from laughter, then maybe you noticed I asked people to send in their own shitty lunch creations. And I got some real losers!! I mean I kinda thought I was like the shittiest lunchbox creator out there until I saw some of these. Holy crap, some of you guys SUCK ASS. Which totally makes me want to be friends with you.
Anyways, here are a few of my favorites and just for shits and giggles I’ve given them all titles.
Let’s begin with this little edible creation. She calls it “Cute Porcupine.” I call it “I hope my kid get stabbed in the esophagus and dies”
And this one I like to call “An ode to that scary-ass dude in Silence of the Lambs who likes to wear other people’s skin”
Yo lady, I’m all for equal opportunity but there is no such thing as brown snow. And WTF are they riding on, a five-wheeled spaghetti-mobile? Anyways, I’m calling this one “Shit Snowman”
And speaking of shit, a mom made this for her three-year-old to convince him to poop in the potty. Uhhh, not quite. I call this one “Yo, kiddo, poop wherever you happen to be standing. And then wipe your ass with cheese”
Ummm, WTF is that? No wonder your kids won’t eat your food. It looks like you ate the whole dinner while you were cooking it (I do this all the time) and then served the kids the scraps. I call this one “Just F’ing Call Dominos.”
And this is one of my personal favorites. But I can’t decide which title to use. Either “Choking hazard with mini weapons and feet that make you fart” or “So basically you cut off my ass and made it my head.” Cute kid though!
I call this one “Awww shit, no wonder I feel bloated, it’s that time of the month”
Hmmm, what on earth should the title be for this masterpiece? Lemme see, uhh, maybe, “I want my kid to eat severed body parts and grow up to be the next Jeffrey Dahmer”
And OMG, check out all those flat boobies!! I’m totally calling this one “After the Mammogram”
And last but not least, wait, maybe it is least. I call this lunch “Constipated dinosaur served on a prison tray”
Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I promised to give the shittiest creation a copy of my signed book. Drumroll please. And the winner is, awwww shit, I can’t make such a monumental decision. If I were a millionaire I’d send them all books, but since I haven’t won the lottery YET, I’m gonna be lazy and let you pick the winner. Please write your favorite one in the comments section and the one with the most votes by the end of tomorrow wins!! And if you thought this was funny, pleeeeease don’t forget to press the Facebook like button!!
Oh and you also might want to check out my book I Heart My Little A-Holes. It’s the most effective birth control on the market!!*
*not a fact
S**t snowman….
The one with the fingers and body parts has my vote! That is so funny! Plus I’m from Wisconsin…so it makes it even funnier!
The bloated one having their period wins!
I’m going with the menstral cramp mama. I had grand designs of making a pic for you, got distracted and ate the head. Next time.
I go for the one with the body parts….that is classic!! lol
Definitely the one with the fingers and body parts. Those hot dog fingers took some time and effort!
Awww s**t no wonder I feel bloated!!!! LMAO
That time of month ravioli!
The “aww S**t no wonder I feel bloated” one is the best. Made me lol for real.
S**t snowman!! 🙂
Darn it! I meant to take a picture of the baggy of $ I give my daughter to buy lunch!
Definitely the ravioli thought the hot dog is a close second!
the pooping / wipe your a*s with cheese one. Hilarious!
Bloated ravioli, definitely!
The bagel pooping
For visual, the winner is the bleeding angel. For caption, I must go with “And then wipe your a*s with cheese.”
Just Fing eat, or call dominos. But my kid probably wouldn’t eat the pizza neither, so it should be titled just Fing starve then.
bloated period one.
Lol I choose ” Yo, kiddo, p**p wherever you happen to be standing. And then wipe your a*s with cheese”
Body parts
Bloated ravioli, followed by body parts!
Poopin porcupine! (aka “I hope my kid get stabbed in the esophagus and dies”)
I can barely type as the tears roll down my face. I vote ‘choking hazard’ with the cute kid.
Body parts gets my vote. That one is so scary awesome!
Period surprise. It looks delicious. Joking.
“Wipe your a*s with the cheese” was the one that made me LOL the loudest, so there’s my vote 🙂
Time of the month!
That time of the month
The bagel pooping and whipping with cheese!
Menstruating ravioli 🙂
“Yo, kiddo, p**p wherever you happen to be standing. And then wipe your a*s with cheese”
The constipated dinosaur gets my vote for sure! Although, the mammogram one had me belly laughing and I’m 8 months pregnant! Lmao
I am crying and laughing so hard!!! I can’t vote, they are all too good! But the one that made me laugh the loudest is the “I’m bloated”…
The a*s-less hotdog dog. Beaut
Bagel and s**t cheese!! That puppy is a winner in my book!!
The body parts lunch should win. Hands down!
Hot Dog/Brussels sprouts!
Period surprise!
Just f’ing eat for the win! I wonder if she caters??
Just F’ing Eat
My vote goes to….
“I want my kid to eat severed body parts and grow up to be the next Jeffrey Dahmer”
LOL! I can’t stop laughing! Definitely the p**p and wipe with cheese 😉
I love them all, but I have to go with my hotdog creation on principle! However, if I had to pick another one it would be the meatloaf snowman, it looked like it took a lot of effort… I mean there is even a sun made out of corn.
That time of the month had my kids thinking I was crazy with laughter.
The p**p and wipe a*s with cheese 🙂
Body parts one
I laughed the most with the bagel pooping. that was epic. haha
Definitely “S**t Snowman” Awesome!!
Totally the silence of the lambs meat face lunch..
I vote for the hotdog assless dog
I’m going with poopy bagel.
Wipe you a*s with cheese…….. tears of joy
The time of the month.
Bloated!
S**t snowman!
The bent over pooping one. I cracked up!!
P**p Bagel
To kiddo p**p wherever
P**p bagel
Pooping Bagel
S*** Snowman!!!!!!
Awww s**t, no wonder I feel bloated, it’s that time of the month
The pooping bagel is truly the shittiest.
Pooping bagel, for sure!
I’m for the “it’s that time of the month”. Love them!
P**p Bagel!!!! LOL!!!
Po Po Peanutbutter Bagel.
I vote for the Bagel P**p and cheese toilet paper!!
Bagel bent over, Love the cheese wiper!
P**p bagel!!!
S**T snowman!!
P**p bagel is The best!!
The P**p bagel
Pooping bagel
Awe s**t no wonder I feel bloated lol
Flat boobies. In honor of breast cancer awareness month.
P**p where you stand!
“No wonder I feel bloated”
S**t snowman
The Bagel has my vote..
“P**p wherever you want” lol more helpful in making them puke and not eat then she intended
The p**p bagel!
Definitely the bloated period one!
The period one!!!
My family likes the one with the soiled cheese wipe. Too funny!
porcupine! nothing says “I love you” like twenty sharp objects!
S**t snowman! Bahahahaha!
the b**t bagel
“Choking hazard with mini weapons and feet that make you fart” – hahahahahahahahahahha!!!
Menstroli, for sure!
Wipe your a*s with cheese!!!
“S**t Snowman”!!!
I’m going with Sh!t Snowman
Constipated Dino on a prison tray!
Pooping bagel-b**t, wipe your a*s with cheese. Lol!
I vote for the constipated dinosaur!
The pooping bagel!!
The brown snowman… Because she really really tried… And really really failed. I almost chose “So basically you cut off my a*s and made it my head,” but mostly because your description almost made me spit out my drink.
Pooping bagel and cheese a*s wipe…..by far the funniest.
The bloated one! Holy $hitballs! I almost woke up the kiddo laughing so hard!!
I was crying laughing by the time I got to “brown snow”. … still, the potty one was the worst, grossest, what was she thinking lunch!
Just F’ing Call Dominos. Ode to creepy dude on Silence of Lambs is a close second.
Just F’ing Eat. But they’re all SOOOOO GOOOOODDDDD
The potty training bagel and toilet paper cheese…the mind boggles!! Very funny!
P**p bagel with cheese wipe!
Gotta go with the pooping / wipe yourself with cheese masterpiece!
P**p bagel
My 5 year old thought the pooping b**t was hilarious! He said he didn’t want to eat it though 😉
S**t snowman x
Body parts
The poo bagel.. With the tp cheese. Bahahaha
Poo and cheese. But they’re all so good (bad) that I’m crying.
I am gonna have to go with Hot Dog boy because it has not one, but two, laugh-out-loud titles. You really made my morning!