An important message from Baby Sideburns

Hi. It’s me. Duhh, who else would be writing my blog? I mean yeah I guess there are plenty of pages that have lots of different writers but not here. Nope, here I pretty much do it all. I guess it all started because I like to write. And then when my audience started to grow, I found out writing is even more fun when you have people who like to read your shit. So thank you for reading my shit. Seriously, THANK YOU!!!!!! You make this writing gig so worth it.

Anyways, you probably know this already, but I wrote a new book. Like a NEW book. Not like a bunch of shit I’ve shared on here and then smashed into a book. We’re talking 95% new material that has never been seen by anyone. 320 hilarious pages. Wait, that’s a lie. Like 300 hilarious pages and about 20 serious ones. With fifty-five chapters (not a typo, as in 5-5), plus a bunch of hilarious pictures and funny quips like this one:

ZOEY: Mommy, my bagina itches.

ME: Your what?

ZOEY: My bagina.

ME: Your VAgina. Va. Va.

ZOEY: My VAgina.

ME: Yes, and actually it’s your vulva.

ZOEY: I have a vulda?

ME: A vulVA. Va. Va.

HUBBY: (interrupting) What the HELL is a vulva?

ME: It’s like that whole area down there.

HUBBY: All I know is the clit.

I shit you not. That conversation really happened.

So here’s the thing. I’m asking for your help. Yup, I’m being THAT a-hole and asking for a favor. If you think you’re going to get my book sometime, please order it now. I know you’re probably like what’s the difference? $10 now or $10 in a month. (And yes, right now it is $10.57 on Amazon. SOOOOOO cheap for a nice hardcover book.) But it makes a HUGE difference in the book world. I need to sell as many books as I can before the book comes out in less than three weeks.


So if you like reading my stuff, if I entertain you for free most of the time, if you enjoy reading my shit on Facebook and Instagram, please click on one of these links and order my book. Even if it’s just because you need to add $10 to your cart to get free shipping on something else. I already love you to pieces, so I’m not sure what else I can promise, except that I’ll keep writing funny shit every day and helping parents smile and laugh as much as I can.

Love love love,

Baby Sideburns

Click on one of these links to order it in hardcover or e-book from your favorite store!! And if you liked this post, please don’t forget to like and share it. Thanks!!


There are 29 comments for this article
  1. Melissa Radtke at 10:25 am

    Does the kindle version count?

  2. Britt at 10:28 am

    Love your blog, so I can’t help but buy the book. Looking forward to it!

  3. Robyn Kauffman at 10:40 am

    I just pre-ordered this book, I love your pure honesty and read your other book many times a year whenever I’m feeling like a s**t mom.
    Thank you for your brutal truth!! You rock ??

  4. BabySideburns at 10:42 am

    Thanks everyone!!!!! I really really really appreciate it! And yes, Melissa. Absolutely! xoxo

  5. Melanie at 10:51 am

    I ordered the Kindle version. Hope that helps! Thank you for bring some much needed chuckles to my days.

  6. Erin at 11:03 am

    I just pre-ordered it on!!! Thanks for the nudge, as I would have gotten it at some point anyway, but I’m glad to help you out !

  7. LCR at 11:25 am

    Pre-ordered the Kindle version. Laughed so hard at your first one, and I can’t wait for this one.

  8. Heather at 11:30 am

    Yay just ordered!! Can’t wait!!

  9. Kristen at 11:45 am

    I clicked the link to preorder the kindle book, and Amazon pointed out that I’ve already preordered–haha. I still may forget and try to buy it again sometime before it actually arrives, each time you mention it I think “I need to buy that right now!”. Luckily for me Amazon won’t let me accidentally buy it 5 times before it actually arrives.

  10. Deanna at 11:56 am

    Done, via Google Play. Any word on when it’ll be on Audible read by you?

  11. BabySideburns at 12:00 pm

    Too funny Kristen!! I need to get you to accidentally order it on barnes and noble 😉 And Deanna, I recorded it a couple of months ago!! It’ll be there!

  12. Jamie at 12:20 pm

    Just ordered from Barnes & Noble. If it’s half as good as I ❤️ My Little A-Holes, it will be well worth it! Can’t wait until it comes out so I can lock myself in the bathroom and read it cover to cover! Haha! My husband & kids are going to hate me for that! ??????

  13. Ann-Sofie at 12:26 pm

    Alright, I ordered it! Remember that when I come ask you for blog starting advice in the future! 😉

  14. BabySideburns at 12:29 pm

    Ann-Sofie, when you’re ready you can email me at I don’t have a lot of advice, but I can give you the little that I know!!

  15. Amber at 1:53 pm

    I pre-ordered it months AGO, or at least it feels like it 😉 In fact, I keep checking to see when it comes out, I CAN’T WAIT!

  16. JO at 4:41 pm

    ordered!!! even though i only do library books normally-i made an exception b/c i feel like we would be friends and i dig your honesty.

  17. Claire McNamee at 5:05 pm

    Done! Although I’m curious why the kindle book is MORE expensive than the hardcover one. Licensing?

  18. Alyssa at 6:31 pm

    I preordered the second I saw you had a new book! Can’t wait to receive mine!

  19. Christine Golden at 6:56 pm

    Just checking out your site after reading your grandparent article on The comments were unbelievable… ..I’ll be checking out your book… Thanks for sharing….

  20. BabySideburns at 7:50 pm

    Yayyy, welcome Christine!! Yeah, those comments blew me away… until I stopped reading them. Happy to have you here!

  21. Roberta at 10:04 pm

    From one mediocre parent to another: I love you GF! I hope this book is a huge success for you!

  22. Jessie Rae at 11:29 am

    Got you covered Karen! I ordered that funny s**t!