Mom-Judge me all you want, just don’t mom-shame me

Dear other moms,

Okay, so here’s the thing. Feel free to judge me all you want.

Judge me when you see me in the grocery store filling my cart with a crapload of sugary cereals.

Judge me for losing it and yelling at my kids every other morning because they won’t get their shoes on.

Judge me when you see my kids climbing up the slide or sliding down the banister.

Judge me when you see me looking at my cell phone when I’m supposed to be hanging with my kids.

Judge me when I hold my kid’s hands and spin him around until his arms almost pop out of the sockets.

Judge me when we go out for sushi and bring chicken nuggets for the rugrats.

Judge me for calling my kid rugrats.

Or a-holes.

Or crotchmuffins.

Judge me for letting my kids run full speed through the mall dodging all the mall-walkers.

Judge me for letting my kids lie on the bottom of the shopping cart.

Judge me for letting my rugrats dress like totally crazy people.

Judge me for taking my kids to McDonald’s too often.

Judge me for not telling my kid to take off her puffy jacket every single time she gets in the car because it’s zero degrees out.

Judge me for letting my kids draw pen tattoos all up and down their arms and legs because they’re bored.

Judge me for still getting undressed in front of my son.

Judge me for forgetting to put a fruit or veggie in their lunch boxes sometimes. Or pretending like French fries are a vegetable. 

Judge me for putting my kids to bed too early.

Judge me for putting my kids to bed too late.

Judge me for letting them watch screen time for hours on end because I just need to get some stuff done.

Judge me for alllllllllllll the shit I do that you think is wrong.

Have all the opinions you want.

But here’s what you can do with them. Keep them in your head. Don’t tell me. Don’t type them to me. Don’t roll your eyes at me. 

We all judge each other and that’s human nature, but the last time I checked, I wasn’t wearing a sign that says, “Tell me what you think.” I parent like this. You parent like that. And believe me, I have thoughts too, lots of them, but I know it’s not my job to tell everyone.

So go ahead, judge me all you want. But please don’t shame me. 

 

Sincerely,

The mom who will ask for your opinion when I want it

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There are 11 comments for this article
  1. George Pope at 9:56 am

    Ofcourse, you do use your keyboard, on occasion, or have, to state our differing opinions on childrearing, but you don’t individually call people out (mom-shaming)

    • BabySideburns at 10:12 am

      So true! And there was probably a time that I mom-shamed at some point in my life, but as I’ve gotten older and wiser, I’ve realized how wrong that is.

  2. Regina at 9:59 am

    Exactly! No one knows what each is going through. Keep your judgements to yourself unless you’re in my shoes.

  3. Becky at 11:27 am

    Every single bit of this is the truth. We all need to be a bit wiser about our out loud voice.

  4. Crystal at 11:42 am

    I went through a horrible situation with the mother of my son’s best friend. She PUBLICLY admonished me for not raising my children with God. I wanted to rip her head off and shove the 5 different Holy Bibles I keep in my house down her throat! But I said not one word. I’ve raised my children to think for themselves. To develop their own beliefs. If they had a question about the Bible; “here read it”. As I’ve watched my son become an increasingly decorated Combat Veteran in the USA Air Force today I smile; not just because he is doing amazing things but because in the Air Force it’s God, Country, Family in THAT order! Don’t judge what you do not know.

    My son and her son are still best friends and when my son is able to come home for a few days they spends as much time as they can together. But I recently also had to teach my SON the same thing. There had become some tension between these young men after 20 years of friendship. My son was frustrated that his best friend “is capable of doing so much more with his life”. I said “YOU ARE ASSUMING that he’s not choosing the life he is living son! Instead of judging him; YOU NEED TO ACCEPT HIS CHOICES!” It took my son by surprise what I said. But when he came home just last month things were great between him and his friend. He said “you’re right mom, I love him and I accept whatever he chooses to do.”

  5. Amanda at 11:58 am

    I think we would be great friends, because your crazy kids sound a lot like mine. And climbing up the slide is totally ok if the kid is willing to accept the risk of getting run over by a kid coming down.

  6. PirateJenny at 12:29 pm

    Different strokes for different folks, man! I am trying to think of a circumstance where i would actually shame another parent in public. The only scenario I can think of is if I could see them physically hurting their kids right in front of me. If the kids are all right, then parents need to leave each other in peace and not appoint themselves Judge McAsshole. P.S. I don’t make my kids take their puffy coats off in the car every time either.

  7. Carrie Baysek at 10:49 am

    Amen sister! Whatever you got to do to get thru the day, no shame in any of that.

  8. Gina Herring at 8:50 pm

    I have to say you are a hero to parenting!!! I am struggling everyday with my 2 year old who thinks she is a 16 year old and my newest lil man at 6 months old.. You are amazing and thanks for writing the truth!!