Awwwww shit, your kid is scratching her head. So you take a little peek in her hair and yup, only one word comes to mind. Shitfuckcrapdamnmotherfuckingcocksuckerbunghole. What’s that Merriam Webster? That’s not a real word? To hell it’s not. When your house get lice, let’s see if you can find any word in your dictionary…
So Holden has been pushing every boundary he can lately. And last week he pushed one that was just not okay. Not okay at all. It started one morning when he was dilly-dallying and not getting ready for camp. I mean how hard can it be to do the same F’ing thing you do every…
I am not a fashionista or a makeup artist or a lifestyle expert. I am a NORMAL REGULAR BORING Mom who doesn’t have 9 hours every morning to contour my cheekbones. And I don’t wear high-waisted pants because they’re “in style.” I wear them because no one wants to see my butt crack when I bend…
*”Kickass Mom Stuff” SWEEPSTAKES OFFICIAL RULES *NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A PURCHASE OR PAYMENT OF ANY KIND WILL NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW ELIGIBILITY:The “Kickass Mom Stuff” Sweepstakes (“Sweepstakes”) is open only to legal residents of the fifty (50) United States and the District of Columbia…
La la la la laaaaa, I’m making a lovely dinner for my family and just having a good ole time sipping on my wine while I cook, but I’m getting close to finishing, so I call to Holden in from the other room… ME: Hey buddy, can you please come set the table?!! But his…
Wait, what?!! Is it seriously possible to go to Disney and spend LESS money than you thought you would spend? If you asked me this two weeks ago, I would have said bwhahahahaha, no. But then at the end of our trip to Disney World, this is what happened. I was checking out of our…
To the person who will become the next Supreme Court Justice, I don’t know who you are yet, but I wanted to reach out to you with hope. This country is a crazy place right now full of anger and emotions, so it’s hard to keep speaking calmly when everyone around you is yelling. But…
It’s official. I’ve hit rock bottom. It all started about four weeks ago when my hubby and I were watching TV on the couch one night. I had my computer in my lap and I was shopping on the Internet. HUBBY: What are you looking at? ME: Nothing.
Holy crap, you are NOT going to believe what I just found in my kids’ bathroom. This is unbelievable and hilarious and disgusting all wrapped up together. Let me start at the beginning. So it all begins about two weeks ago when I go into the kids’ bathroom to hang up their wet washcloths and…
ME: Get dressed, Zoey. ZOEY: But I don’t have anything to wear. ME: What about this cute blue outfit? ZOEY: No. ME: Why don’t you ever want to wear this? You told me you liked it in the store.