I just got my kiddo’s school pictures back and all I can say is WTF

Yayyyy, school pictures are in!!! SCHOOL PICTURES ARE IN!!! I mean uhhhh, yeah, I’m cool. I’ll just calmly walk to my car and open them in the front seat where no one can see my reaction. I don’t know WHAT it is about school pictures that makes me so excited. I take like 9,000 better pictures…

Awww crap, look what my kindergartener wants to do to her hair

Awww crap, look what my kindergartener wants to do to her hair

Okay, so every morning when we wake up and get ready, I pretty much always mutter WTF when Zoey picks out her outfit. Like here are a few that stand out in my mind. When I drop her off at school I see girls everywhere wearing these super cute matchy-matchy outfits and here I am wishing I brought…

Dear Mom who decided not to vaccinate her kid against the measles

Dear Mom who decided not to vaccinate her kid against the measles

Yeah, I’m going there. I mean when I put up a picture of my kid in his car seat wearing a puffy coat, I had NOOOOOOO idea the kind of ruckus that would explode. But I’m writing this knowing full well that vaccination shit is a TOUCHY subject and that some people might get their…

Mmmm, Girl Scout cookies are F’ing awesome but here’s why they suck

Okay, so here’s the thing. Zoey is selling Girl Scout cookies. Now if you follow my Facebook page, you might know who’s really selling them. Yours F’ing truly. Here’s the post if you didn’t see it on Facebook. You can skip to the next part if you already read it. Woo-hooo, Zoey is selling Girl…

What NOT to do when your hubby gets a hole in his underwear

Heyyyy, here’s something really hilarious to do that will make you laugh but will NOT make your husband laugh at all. HUBBY: (PROUD) Look, the hole in my underwear’s getting bigger! ME: I think it’s time to throw them out. HUBBY: No way. ME: You’re about to start popping out of that hole. HUBBY: I…

Dear God, pleeeeeease don’t let my kiddo be racist

Okay, so the other day I experienced something awesome. Yeah yeah yeah, I know you’re used to me spouting off alllllll the bad shit that happens in our house on a daily basis, but last week Zoey and I had a GMO (girls morning out) and holy crap did some amazing stuff happen. I mean most Sunday mornings…

Dear Tinkerbell, where the F were you last night

Awwww shit, I kinda F’ed up this morning. So a buncha nights ago Zoey made this picture of Peter Pan and Tinkerbell and then she put it on her nightstand. I had no idea she actually made them FOR Peter and Tink (no, I’m not on a first name basis with them, I’m just too…