Badadadadadada, it’s time to vote for the hilariously awesome finalists in the Messiest Dirtiest Kiddo Photo Contest
Holy crap.
What NOT to F’ing buy my kids this holiday
Dear Grammy, Grampy, Nana and Pop Pop, Ahhh, yes, here we go again. The most wonderful time of the year. For you. For me it’s more like let’s see how much more crap I can fit in my house until TLC comes knocking at my door because they think I’m an F’ing hoarder. I know…
Same-sex marriage: should we ban it in kindergarten
Okay, so lately I’ve learned that if I don’t ask Zoey a million questions after school, like super specific questions, I don’t learn jack shit about what she did that day. Like if I ask her, “How was P.E.?” I get a one-word answer like, “Fine.” But if I ask her “What did you make…
Baby Sideburns’ Big Ole Hilarious Gift Guide that’s Full of a Bunch of AWESOME Shit
Ohhhh yeahhhh, it’s the first ever Baby Sideburns 2014 gift guide!!! A little half-assed, a lotta badass, and full of bunch of awesome shit that anyone would be psyched to find under the X-Mas tree, next to the Menorah, or beneath the Kwanzaa candles this year. P.S. I’m an Amazon Associate. As an Amazon Associate I earn…
The Messiest Dirtiest Kiddo Photo Contest with a Totally Kickass Prize!!!
Okay, so I’m totally bummed. There’s this awesome photo contest but I don’t have a good picture for it. AGGGHHH, I have like 9 million pictures of my rugrats but none of them work for this!!! It’s being put on by Sterling, that cool brand by Kohler, do you know it? You’re supposed to enter…
Official Rules to the Messiest Dirtiest Kiddo Photo Contest
Baby Sideburns STERLING ComforTrack Photo Contest OFFICIAL RULES NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A PURCHASE DOES NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCE OF WINNING. A PANEL OF JUDGES WILL SELECT WINNERS. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW. OPEN ONLY TO LEGAL RESIDENTS OF THE 50 UNITED STATES AND THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA WHO ARE 18 YEARS…
24 NEW words to call our little A-Holes
Okay, so lately I’ve noticed this trend. Tell me if you’ve seen it. All these people are starting to call their kiddos “a-holes” ever since I wrote my book I Heart My Little A-Holes. Nahhh, just kidding, I have no idea if my book was the first to do it. Probably not, I rarely come up…
Halloween candy recipes that are super EASY and better than anyone else’s
So yesterday I get this email from Huff Post with like a shitload of recipes to make with Halloween candy. “The best thing about having an overload of booty is that you can use it to make the following recipes.” I mean I had NO IDEA this was a problem, did you??? Figuring out what…
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Maxi Girrrrrrrllllll
Yo Pinterest, check this shit out. My kid made Elsa’s cape out of panty liners tonight. Yeah, you read that right!! Some kids play with iPads when they go to a restaurant. And some make masterpieces out of panty liners. Bam!
Spring Break Barbie
Sometimes the cat throws up on the carpet and I get really pissed off. But sometimes he throws up in the perfect place to teach my kids an important lesson about drinking too much and losing your dignity.