Duct tape fixes everything!
I don’t know WTF everyone’s talking about. I didn’t have any problem putting the Girl Scouts badges on her vest.
The crap you may have missed this week
Awwww shit, as much as I like Facebook, sometimes I just want to kick it in the balls. Because these days I keep hearing the same damn thing: “Why isn’t Baby Sideburns showing up in my newsfeed?” Why? Because Facebook changed their algorithms, which means sometimes you’re gonna miss shit. Funny shit you don’t want to miss.…
Is 5 too young to have a boyfriend?
Dear Baby Sideburns, My 5yr old came home today from pre-k and told me she has a boyfriend. WTF… I don’t know what to say. I kinda froze. I don’t know how to handle this. What would you say? Signed, MSH Dear MSH, Awwwww shit, see, this is what happens when you don’t feed…
Why you should teach your kiddo it’s NOT a tail, it’s a you-know-what
Dear Baby Sideburns, I’ve been told by an “expert” that I need to tell my 5 year old boy what his private part is called. I’ve avoided it until now. What on earth do we call his “tail” as he calls it? Ashlye Dear Ashlye, Here are some names you can call it:
Holy crap, some other people suck at making school lunches just like meeee!!!
Hey, have you seen the totally rude post that a-hole mom wrote about Pinteresty moms who pack fancy lunches? This one. She must either be like a total super bitch or suffer from crazy low self-esteem. Nahhhh, just kidding, that was meeee!!!
Awww crap, look who just lied to her kids about where their stoopid balloon went
Do you guys remember this picture from earlier this summer? When Holden’s Spiderman balloon floated away? Maybe you do or maybe you’re like me and have brainesia and don’t remember jack squat anymore. Anyways, as you can see it was pretty traumatic. And HILARIOUS. Uhhh, I mean devastating. But seriously, it was just a stupid…
Queen Elsa’s Dating Profile is totally hot
Holy crap, did you guys hear who is ROYALLY pissed off?! Elsa. Yup, that snow queen is mad as hell because Disney decided to keep her single at the end of Frozen. I mean yeah she totally agrees that it’s cool to teach little girls that women don’t NEED a man to be happy, but…
American Girl Dolls and why I’m NOT cashing in my 401K for them
Okay, so Zoey just got her first (and hopefully last) American Girl Doll as a gift, and let me say this. HOLYYYYY SHIT am I in the WRONG business. I mean you know how they say a house is $XX per square foot? I think they should do the same for these dolls. This is Isabelle. She’s…
Disney Tips to make your vacay more magical and less sucky
I’m just gonna come right out and say it. I am a Disney person. No matter how messed up your life is, for at least the first few minutes when you’re walking down Main Street in Magic Kingdom you can’t help but be optimistic. I mean I’m not gonna lie about how it’s going to…
A bunch of things that went through my head when I came home yesterday and found this sitting on my counter
1. WTF is that? 2. At least it’s contained.